Put down all the time for not drinking.

starflake

Hi everyone just have to get this off my chest! I havent drank since about 8 months ago. I just dont like it.. makes me feel sick and dizzy and rotten basically! plus I say stupid stuff.. anyway.. A few things have been annoying me lately.. First, Stephans night my boyfriends friend kept saying 'you're no fun anymore... you dont drink or smoke anymore you used to be fun' He was only joking so I didn't really mind because he was drunk himself! But keep thinking about it all the same! Do people really think I'mno fun anymore?! I'm always laughing and joking... I'm really chatty and I love socialising!!

Secondly, Theres this woman at work who never shuts up about drink... She's always saying she's gagging for a drink.. She comes in the morning after a night out and she lists everything she has drank and how many of each the night before and it's getting really annoying. I love clothes and fashion and she said today that she doesnt know why I bother buying 'going out' clothes because I dont go out to the pub every weekend.. She said that I might have more money in my pocket because I dont drink but what do I spend it on... Whats the point in buying nice shoes and such if I'm sitting in every night looking at them. She said life is about fun and I'm not fun basically! It has really annoyed Me I think... jesus christ what are these people like?! I dont preach at them to stop drinking! why do they get on my case for not drinking!?? I'm so upset!! phew... had to get that off my chest!

Cabaal

Some people's lifes just revolve around drink, getting drink and pub culture, in many ways its sad as they could experience so much more if they did other things and put the money there wasting to better use, having an interest besides drink, traveling etc

Don't let it get to you, if she wants to get paralytic each weekend leave her, she's the one likely to have health issues in later life and will have less money in the short term

cHaTbOx

Hey there:)

Of course people are going to be immature about it but you have done what you want and who cares , I have only quit a month and I know I am going to get people callin me "dry sh1te" etc but I like to think I have a little more to me .

I have no reason to give up at all , but like you said I believe I am chatty and I love socialising. I am in uni on campus and see people drinking all the time. I see no point in it. After a certain point it becomes boring and is usually trying to cover up some thing.

It is one of those thing where you will have last laugh (not into that though) , you will have the nice things ,you have built up your social skills without oiling the wheels of conversation and you are not feeling the effects on you well being.

They don't understand how you can have a good time , as they can't without it. Thing is people will always try and get to you but just shrug it off. You are into fashion and can afford more things now.
It is easy to say take no notice, but you are happy in yourself so who care what other people think.

**hug** as you are feeling upset.

ever need a chat just send a pm

take care:)

Latchy

As others have said OP ,you stick to your guns and damm the rest .Deciding your not into alcohol means you have respect for yourself ,mind and body .Moderate drinking is ok and most people are sensible in their drinking habits .But if some people want to drink themselfs into oblivion then that's their concern ,as long as they dont drag you to is all that matters.

starflake

Thanks everyone! Feel alot better after reading your posts! Great Forum by the way have been on boards for ages but never really read this until now! Thanks again

Ostrom

Dont give her a second thought. If it hasnt occured to her that she doesnt have to herd herself into a pub every weekend, and can actually enjoy things in and of themselves, then she is probably better off doing what she does.

bassman22

Forget about her!

starflake wrote: »

She said life is about fun

I don't think alcohol holds a monopoly on fun!!

cantdecide

efla wrote: »

Dont give her a second thought. If it hasnt occured to her that she doesnt have to herd herself into a pub every weekend, and can actually enjoy things in and of themselves, then she is probably better off doing what she does.

Some people have a general lack of sympathy with the world and the people around them. They simply can't see past their noses....

Ostrom

cantdecide wrote: »

Some people have a general lack of sympathy with the world and the people around them. They simply can't see past their noses....

No apologies from me, this is their world. I'd rather take the high ground and be happy

SpitfireIV

starflake wrote: »

Secondly, Theres this woman at work who never shuts up about drink... She's always saying she's gagging for a drink.. She comes in the morning after a night out and she lists everything she has drank and how many of each the night before and it's getting really annoying. I love clothes and fashion and she said today that she doesnt know why I bother buying 'going out' clothes because I dont go out to the pub every weekend.. She said that I might have more money in my pocket because I dont drink but what do I spend it on... Whats the point in buying nice shoes and such if I'm sitting in every night looking at them. She said life is about fun and I'm not fun basically! It has really annoyed Me I think... jesus christ what are these people like?! I dont preach at them to stop drinking! why do they get on my case for not drinking!?? I'm so upset!! phew... had to get that off my chest!

She sounds like an incredibly nice person! No, seriously! I mean she obviously has character, strenght of mind, great sense of humour and just sounds all in all like a great buzz to be around! A genuinely nice person, there just arent enough people like her about these days! *



* I was being very sarcastic!




Seriously though, feck that! You do what you want to do, stick to your guns girl and dont be swayed by others or feel that you have to conform to fit in! Hell, if I think about it now I've probably saved vast amounts of money by not drinking and not being a regular pubber/clubber and all that extra saved up booty I am putting to good use now on my (hopefully) future career. Sure, maybe my lack of interest in the pub sense has effected my socialising skills, but, I can deal with that.

I spent my college days listening to similar people like that girl you mentioned, people whom seem to get something out of, or wear it as a badge of honour, the fact that they come in in the mornings (or afternnon in most cases) 'dying' (as they put it). Who make those involuntary noises and moans,and the usual phrases, you know the ones 'jaysus I'm dying', 'ughh, never again'. Personally, if I was ever in such a state I'd be a little bit ashamed and certainly wouldnt draw attention to myself.

Damn it, why when I reply to threads in this forum do I always go off on a rant??! :pac:

Anyway, dont mind her, you'll probably find that for all her mouthing, and no matter how much she's putting you down all she's trying to do is make herself feel better, an attempt to make her appear to be better than you. But thats where she is wrong, she's just another one of those boozy, mouthy drunks whilst you have conviction and a strong will, which I admire greatly in people!

dave.omeara

Next time she starts telling you about her crazy drunken weekend, maybe you could say to her that cause you're saving s much money by not drinking you can afford to go away for a nice weekend somewhere. That might keep her quiet for a wee bit.

It really does drive me nuts when people say "You're no fun anymore" or "Why bother going out if you're not going to drink". The reason I'm no fun anymore is because when you're sober you realise what utter crap drunk people talk about. A story might be funny once but upon hearing it for the fifth time in 20 minutes, it somewhat loses it humourous appeal.

Keep doing what you want to do. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks or says. If you are happier not drinking, then at the end of the day thats all that matters. Your work mate did make one good point, Life is about fun, so do whats fun for you and not what other people think fun should be.

Ant

Like the other posters say, the work colleague sounds really sad and boring. I had to put up with listening to that kind of boring nonsense in secondary school. While almost everyone I knew in college drank, there was far less of that boring “I’m such a great drinker” rubbish.

Making those kind of comments about your clothes would indicate that she’s jealous of you more than anything else. She certainly comes across as insecure and as someone trying to reassure herself that she is a fun (and attractive) person. Unfortunately, there are people with the immature attitude of “If I can’t feel good about myself, I’ll try and make someone else feel bad about themselves”.

You sound pretty self-confident so just do what’s fun for you and ignore the rest. “To thine own self be true.”

starflake

Again thanks a million for all the comments! She actually came in drunk this morning! honestly... what a mess. Im sitting here feeling very smug now to be honest.. nasty as it sounds!

Ostrom

Enjoy dear, joke is on her

SpitfireIV

starflake wrote: »

Again thanks a million for all the comments! She actually came in drunk this morning! honestly... what a mess. Im sitting here feeling very smug now to be honest.. nasty as it sounds!

LOL, you're evil, the poor girl is the worst for the drink and you're sitting there feeling smug!

And so you should!

cantdecide

She'll console herself with the thought that at least she had a good time so be sure and tell her what an amazing weekend you had:D

RealEstateKing

Giving up drinking in this country is a little like being a non-Muslim in Saudi Arabia sometimes.

For many Irish people their relationship with alcohol starts very early, usually close to the beginning of puberty. Many (if not most) Irish people grow up, drinking their way through the most important milestones of their lives: First Kiss? Smashed. First time at a gig? Smashed. First time dancing in public ? Wrecked. First time at a party? Arseholed.

They grow up with an indelible association between alcohol and those things as a result: Music, Dancing, intimacy, sex, friendship and telling people you love them (ie the good things in life) , become indelibly associated with booze for them as a result.

Its is very difficult for them to imagine that there is any other way of living. They live in a society in which something like 80% of people think this way. There is an enormous amount of brainwashing as a result. Secondly, in their heart of hearts they know you are getting more out of life than them, and you're not drinking frightens the bejaysus out of them.

How do I know this? I used to be like this. I would be on my seventh pint watching Spanish or other foreign people smiling and enjoying a party, dancing, hugging their friends, laughing and having fun. Usually while sinking 3 beers in a whole night, and plainly having a much better time than the Irish, who are too drunk by 2 O Clock to enjoy anythying, and passed out by 3. And I would try to convince myself that they were boring, clean-living Ned Flanders, while I was living on the edge, the rock 'n roll dream. Utter balls of course. While I was passed out on the floor of the kitchen, they'd have gone upstairs to cap the night off with a good shag!

midgetflynn

While I'm not a non-drinker,I'm a very moderate drinker,often not drinking on a night out just cos I don't feel like it. That's the beauty, I've got the choice to do what I want, just like you do and just like your workmate should. But by the sounds of it, she doesn't really, because unlike you,me and the others here that don't drink, we know we can have a good time by not drinking.

I hate the fact that here in Ireland, most people think they need to be drunk off their faces to have a good time, when they proudly say they have a major hangover due to the 50 million drinks they've had from the previous night out*. I won't deny that I haven't had good nights out when drinking, being moderately drunk or very drunk on the rare occasion, but I also have some very good memories of not drinking and have a great time.

You don't need to justify yourself to people in the slightest. If I was you,I'd make lots of noise when she has a bad hangover,if she continues on insulting you. And when you're out and if you find people are giving you hassle for not drinking and it's just too much for you at that stage, just say you have a vodka and coke,not just coke. Yes,you shouldn't have to hide the fact you're not drinking,though sometimes I just find some people can be a hassle on certain nights and I'd rather keep them off my back!

and after reading this from RealEstateKing

For many Irish people their relationship with alcohol starts very early, usually close to the beginning of puberty. Many (if not most) Irish people grow up, drinking their way through the most important milestones of their lives: First Kiss? Smashed. First time at a gig? Smashed. First time dancing in public ? Wrecked. First time at a party? Arseholed.

I feel very proud of myself.I sober for all those occasions in my life!

*Slight exageration there on the number of drinks!

acorntoast

I've gotten this from one friend in particular since I stopped drinking. I definitely think the more of a problem someone has with it, the more of a problem they have with drinking. It just challenges them too much. It's sad, but I find myself not wanting to hang out with her anymore; and I have no problem going out with other friends all night.

Keep going; we are all doing the right thing for us - just shrug it off if you can.

leahyl

starflake wrote: »

Hi everyone just have to get this off my chest! I havent drank since about 8 months ago. I just dont like it.. makes me feel sick and dizzy and rotten basically! plus I say stupid stuff.. anyway.. A few things have been annoying me lately.. First, Stephans night my boyfriends friend kept saying 'you're no fun anymore... you dont drink or smoke anymore you used to be fun' He was only joking so I didn't really mind because he was drunk himself! But keep thinking about it all the same! Do people really think I'mno fun anymore?! I'm always laughing and joking... I'm really chatty and I love socialising!!

Secondly, Theres this woman at work who never shuts up about drink... She's always saying she's gagging for a drink.. She comes in the morning after a night out and she lists everything she has drank and how many of each the night before and it's getting really annoying. I love clothes and fashion and she said today that she doesnt know why I bother buying 'going out' clothes because I dont go out to the pub every weekend.. She said that I might have more money in my pocket because I dont drink but what do I spend it on... Whats the point in buying nice shoes and such if I'm sitting in every night looking at them. She said life is about fun and I'm not fun basically! It has really annoyed Me I think... jesus christ what are these people like?! I dont preach at them to stop drinking! why do they get on my case for not drinking!?? I'm so upset!! phew... had to get that off my chest!

Hey i feel like you - i was actually thinking about this the other day - about how i love clothes and fashion and looking well but then i don't see the point in buying nice clothes if i'm not going out to pubs and clubs. Like i wish people would go out to dinner more or for coffee. And why is it always assumed that you can only wear nice clothes at night when you're out. I guess it's the just the way society has made us!

CDfm

starflake wrote: »

Again thanks a million for all the comments! She actually came in drunk this morning! honestly... what a mess. Im sitting here feeling very smug now to be honest.. nasty as it sounds!

LOL

Genghiz Cohen

A few things have been annoying me lately.. First, Stephans night my boyfriends friend kept saying 'you're no fun anymore... you dont drink or smoke anymore you used to be fun' He was only joking so I didn't really mind because he was drunk himself!

This would worry me, I find that people are more themselves when they've had a few, they lose the boundries of normal & polite conversation and start saying what they actually think. I hate to worry you more, but you are thinking about it already and the 2 of us are thinking the same way at least YOU are not crazy.

SpitfireIV

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

This would worry me, I find that people are more themselves when they've had a few, they lose the boundries of normal & polite conversation and start saying what they actually think. I hate to worry you more, but you are thinking about it already and the 2 of us are thinking the same way at least YOU are not crazy.

If its just the boyfriends friend then I wouldnt be too worried, however, if it were the boyfriend saying it then yeah, it would be a little worrying alright.

luckylucky

I gave up drink 3 and a half months ago, hopefully permanently. I can certainly empathise with the OP. I've got a mixed bag of responses - I think the ones in my social circle who are the biggest drinkers - i.e. were the ones who are almost as bad as I was :P are the ones most negative, fortunately for me being in my late 30s I don't care so much what others think of me anymore and they recognise this so I don't get a hard time over it, not that I ever seriously considered giving up in my teens or twenties but if I did I'll be honest I probably would have given into the peer pressure back then.

latchyco wrote: »

Moderate drinking is ok and most people are sensible in their drinking habits.

You think! What I've noticed since stopping is that people almost universally drink more than they say they do, so many times I've heard people say I'm fine with stopping after 2 drinks - more often than not they don't though. Prime example - had a friend over to our place. This guy hasn't really given me a hardtime, but now that my wife has also stopped drinking just recently - that has really put the cat amongst the pigeons I think sub-consciously he wanted us to return to the fold.

The conversation went like this.

Friend: Looking at our drinks cabinet and says you know even you didn't really have a drink problem.
Me: What makes you say that.
Friend: Well, see your drinks cabinet, if you were really an alcoholic you couldn't have that in the house - you'd want to get up in the night or first thing in the morning and have a drink. Doesn't it bother you.
Me: No. (I was never much of a spirits drinker for one thing).
Friend: Well you're not an alcoholic then.
Me: I then proceed to basically explain that my main issue was once I got drinking I was rarely able to stop at just 2 or 3 (often a whole lot more). Also I think alcoholic is an unfortunate phrase - I think all drinkers are just somewhere on the same slope. There's no dividing line between what makes you an alcoholic and a normal drinker.

Anyway this friend explained, oh he never has that problem. That he's quite happy just having a glass of two of wine like right now.

Funny thing by the end of the night his 2 glasses of wine had turned into the whole bottle .

There's always a danger that the likes of me will come across as some sort of Born-Again Non-Drinker but you do start to see things in a different light. Drink is everywhere in Western Culture - it's frightening really what control this drug has. And I do say Western Culture - I've seen posts on here about how bad we Irish are - Basically all Northern Europeans are big drinkers, - and I think Southern Europe is not that as far behind as you might think either - many people have their own wine here and that doesn't show up on any drinking consumption stats. I was sick of the control this poison which is f'in everywhere had on my life - so I've managed thus far to give it the two fingers.

Getting back to the OP the Guys saying 'You are no fun' anymore are doing so basically coz non-drinkers often make drinkers feel a bit uncomfortable when they are indulging, sounds like basically their way of dealing with this discomfort and also so they don't have to look at themselves. I doubt it's got anything to do with you being fun anymore - I mean were you really great fun when you were drinking anyway - most people aren't especially great fun after all drunk or sober;).

magikcivic

ya i know what your saying.it happens to me to.mainly on the site,i would like to drink but i just rather spend my money on other things.my car is my life.when they be giving stick about not drinking i tell them to look at what i drive and i can only drive it because i simply dont drink.they usually shut up then.