Best man = best woman?

omahaid

Hi all,

We're planning to get married in 2010. I'm stuck with choosing a best man as my closest friend is a woman. My future missus has no problem with my friend being "best woman" (they are great friends also). So is there any problems with this in a Catholic ceremony?

tismenotyou

ah ..
got married 2 years ago same thing happened ..
best woman is maid of honour .. thats it no two ways about it ..
best man is male .. IME

worked out alright for us in the end ..
good luck with the wedding

bensoneb

GO FOR IT!!!

It's your day and you should do exactly as you wish. If this lady is your best friend then its only right and fair that she's at your side on probably the most important day of your life. I'm only guessing here but my thinking is that the church shouldn't have a say who's in your wedding party.

omahaid

Cheers for the replies!! Once the church have no probs with it then I'll go for it. It's going to be a very small wedding in Rome so there won't be a reception or anything (so the best "man" role will be minor anyway).

Emerald Lass

why would the church have a problem with it - its not like its a religious thing that the witness for the groom has to be a man? if that were the case they wouldn't let mammies give daughters away or the like? AFAIK the tradition of 'best man' woman, witness whatever is just that - tradition, not anything to do with the religious area of the ceremony, so if you want to have your own tradition, go for it. She will just be wedding party - a very important part, but what you call her is irrelevant!

cmcsoft

I'm all for tradition but at the end of the day it's up to you. It's your day and within reason you should do whatever you want....as long as you're oh is okat with it of course

omahaid

Cheers again for the helpful replies. I've done some research online, but can't find a definitive answer. My OH asked a priest and he said that the offical forms have a part for the witness to sign (and in brackets after it is "best man") and there is one for "Maid of honour". Although most sites I've come across say that the church couldn't care less about the gender, just need two witnesses (there are rules about age and stuff, but no mention of gender).

feelnoshame

I'm doing the same thing and it's cool ... no problem. My biggest problem was what to refer to her as ... obviously not best woman. Church and Registrar are all ok with it!

Enjoy the day!

omahaid

feelnoshame wrote: »

I'm doing the same thing and it's cool ... no problem. My biggest problem was what to refer to her as ... obviously not best woman. Church and Registrar are all ok with it!

Enjoy the day!

Ah, thats good to hear. My main concern was the church, don't think its a problem from the civil side of things.

macdonagh

There is no problem at all from the churches side, well can only speak for the Catholic Church, you need two wittnesses. the sex or sexuality of neither is important. They have to be sane sober and present for the whole ceremony.

mikeanywhere

I have shot two weddings where the best man was a woman and there were no issues at all. If anything it made for a great change to tradition.

I am interested to see what your best (wo)man is going to do for the stag night though - pampering at a spa etc :P

Good luck with it and enjoy the big day too :cool:

omahaid

mikeanywhere wrote: »

I have shot two weddings where the best man was a woman and there were no issues at all. If anything it made for a great change to tradition.

I am interested to see what your best (wo)man is going to do for the stag night though - pampering at a spa etc :P

Good luck with it and enjoy the big day too :cool:

Even though its not a traditional best man, I do want a traditional stag, so she has to sort that out!

mountain

I got married about 9 years ago in gretna green, and my best man was a woman, she gave a wonderful speech afterwards as well,

no reason why you should not have a female best man.

Hope all goes well

omahaid

Just to give an answer to my own question.. Church and state have no rules re: gender, you just need two witnesses. It is important to note that some priests may have objections, ours thankfully did not.

winks

its so annoying that in this day and age you would have to ask a quesion like that ....its all still so backward...you should be able to get married how ever you want .........best of luck