Number two, no can do!

Rochelle

Hi everyone,

Even typing this is mortifying me. I have a MAJOR hang-up about going to the loo (number twos) in my BFs apartment. I live with my parents, a mile from his place & drive over to stay with him a couple of nights a week....fairly casual.
I've always had issues on this, in work , the pub etc but obviously sometimes there is no option.
However, with a guy in a small little apartment, I won't "go there". Of course, he broadcasts to all about a "dump" or a "****e" when he needs to.

One day I was 5 minutes in his bathroom, doing a bit of make-up, when I came out he asked if it was "safe to go in there"!!! Messing I know, but even that had me in ribbons.

I feel very odd about this and obviously can't talk to him about it, but he does wonder when I get up and go home at 9am on a Sunday morning for example.

I know in the scheme of things this is a small issue, but I just feel such an oddball!

dudara

Going to the toilet is something every one of us has to do. Every celebrity and every criminal has to go. You need to recognise this and learn to overcome your own aversion to it.

Secondly, if your boyfriend is announcing to the world every time he takes a crap, you want to consider that he is not emotionally 100% mature yet. Ask him to consider your emotions when he starts joking - it's clearly something you're not comfortable with, and you are entitled to ask him to be more considerate.

LegacyUser

Rochelle, I'm glad I'm not the only one lol!
Seriously I asked a nurse and she said it's very common and that's why patients often can't "go" at the hospital...can cause gastric problems too.
She told me to drink loads of caffeine beforehand as that's what they do with patients,also try to read or listen to music.
HTH, good luck

LegacyUser

How long have you been seeing him? I must admit that I'm still a little embarrassed about pees and poos but we've make jokes about it and it's just something we laugh about now! Try not to worry about it - you're making it into a bigger thing than it is. He isn't shy about it so he won't give a monkeys about you being in there!!! Bite the bullet!

String

If your afraid of the sound just throw toilet paper into the toilet first and hey presto!

I always do in public toilets.

And turn on the tap if you must if its in your BF's apartment.

seamus

I can guarantee you 100% that he won't care about you going to the toilet. He's well aware that you burp and fart and piss and crap just like the rest of us.

I would say be upfront about it - tell him that you're embarrassed about it and that you'd prefer if he wasn't within earshot when you go to the toilet in his apartment. If you're that paranoid, close the door and leave the fan going for 15 minutes. If he has a shred of maturity, he'll respect your boundaries and soon enough ye'll be laughing about it.

Going to the toilet somewhere other than at home is some which probably makes most people uneasy. It just takes a while to get used to it, that's all. It's considered one of the most private things that someone can do, so it's weird to do it outside of the privacy of your own home.

You're definitely not alone, particularly among women

dory

Also another plan is to hope in the shower, steam up the room, go then back in the shower for 5 minutes or so and he should never know! Clearly you can't do that all the time but it would work for Sunday morning for example.

Jimmy Bottlehead

Haha, I'm quite similar!! I used to ALWAYS avoid going to the bathroom... I'm even conscious about people hearing me pee. But then you realise that it doesn't bother you when he needs to go to the bathroom, so it won't bother him either.

Also, I'd second the tap and fan usage If nothing else it puts the mind at ease! It does get easier, trust me!

qz

Everyone shíts, he really won't care.

Húrin

come on, everyone knows that girls don't poo!

LegacyUser

This really must be a girl thing, guys are ok with it. And at some time in our mid 20's we realize girls poo too.

An ex of mine left a floater the first time she came back to mine! Don't worry, I didn't say anything.

Bottle_of_Smoke

I have to say my first thought is cop right on. Think about how bad it is for your body to be holding back waste products.

It should even be easier for you since he said the "is it safe to go in" joke - there's absoloutly no chance he still entertains the idea that you don't defecate & he's made a joke out of it.

dudara

I don't understand this. Everyone has to take sh!ts, just like everyone has to fart. Holding it in is not only uncomfortable but can cause medical problems.

If you have to go while you're in your boyfriend's apartment, just go. He doesn't care, I can guarantee you. In fact, nobody will care if they hear you, because everyone does it. Everyone needs to do it. If someone gives you hassle over it, tell them where to go.

dudara wrote:

Secondly, if your boyfriend is announcing to the world every time he takes a crap, you want to consider that he is not emotionally 100% mature yet.

I wouldn't call embarrassment over having to go to the toilet emotionally 100% mature either.