Any helpful advice with this issue?

DeCoR18

OK this won't be popular but its my PI none the less.

OK had a long term relationship, we were both virgins when we met, talked of marriage children etc, ie my perfect relationship.

A few years later she leaves.

People are telling me yeah go meet somebody else. This is all well and good but I have a major issue about having sex with a girl who has had sex with somebody else. Shes completely tainted for me. I could never want to have sex with her, used goods etc etc.

Before somebody asks no its not some sort of hangup about the size of my c**ck, I'm quiet a bit above the average there so... it would be more of a religious hangup if anything.

But anyway, does anybody have any advice as to how to get over this? Past is the past etc? But I have trouble buying that...

LBD

Just so we're clear anyone who isnt a virgin is tainted......does that not mean your tainted yourself? Bit of a contradiction there!!!!

DeCoR18

LBD wrote: »

Just so we're clear anyone who isnt a virgin is tainted......does that not mean your tainted yourself? Bit of a contradiction there!!!!

Exactly but the only way to justify it to myself is either take a vow of celibacy, to save myself from hypocrisy or look at it from the point of view that I did everything I could to save the relationship so she has forced the position on me therefore its out of my control.

Plus the jealousy factor of another man pleasuring your wife and what not.......

phelixoflaherty

Used champagne cork. Not good at all. No going back either. Hang up yer boots lad.

abi2007

you're pretty much stuck with teenagers or buying a bride online cause there aren't that many virgin adult women left.. may be a few.

LBD

Unfortunately I can't advise what I don't understand

DeCoR18

abi2007 wrote: »

you're pretty much stuck with teenagers or buying a bride online cause there aren't that many virgin adult women left.. may be a few.

I'm not looking for a virgin I'm looking for some advice on how to get over this viewpoint.

abi2007

oh right.. maybe professional help would be best.

DeCoR18

abi2007 wrote: »

oh right.. maybe professional help would be best.

Ha ha yeah maybe :rolleyes:

DeCoR18

LBD wrote: »

Unfortunately I can't advise what I don't understand

I'm basically looking for advice on how to get over jealousy?

drunkmonkey

DeCoR18 wrote: »

I'm not looking for a virgin I'm looking for some advice on how to get over this viewpoint.

booze?

Nevyn

drunkmonkey Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Nevyn

DeCoR18 go to you dr and ask him for a referal to some one to help you work through the issues.

Silverfish

DeCoR18 wrote: »

Exactly but the only way to justify it to myself is either take a vow of celibacy, to save myself from hypocrisy or look at it from the point of view that I did everything I could to save the relationship so she has forced the position on me therefore its out of my control.

Plus the jealousy factor of another man pleasuring your wife and what not.......

What if the non-virgin women you meet had the situation forced on them? ie they slept with someone who left them? Would that be okay?

abi2007

DeCoR18 wrote: »

Ha ha yeah maybe :rolleyes:

No I'm actually being serious, I think you need to talk to someone professionally about why you have these feelings/issues and whats the best way to over come them. i think you need to accept the fact that most adults aren't virgins and the possiblity of your next partner having slept with someone else is ok

DeCoR18

Silverfish wrote: »

What if the non-virgin women you meet had the situation forced on them? ie they slept with someone who left them? Would that be okay?

Yep I guess it would and strangely enough I never thought of that, theres hope yet thanks

Any chance of locking this one up, people just don't entertain these questions around here.

Silverfish

DeCoR18 wrote: »

Yep I guess it would and strangely enough I never thought of that, theres hope yet thanks

Any chance of locking this one up, people just don't entertain these questions around here.

What I think is, you loved her at the time, and she left you, and you are no longer a virgin.

Chances are, the next (or maybe the next after that) woman you meet, will also have been in the same situation as you were- she loved someone at the time, slept with him, and he left her.

Its not fair that you let what could be great pass you by because of something like that because chances are, its happened to a lot of people.
If you meet a really, really nice girl and she's able to look past the fact that you've had a past, and slept with someone, is it not fair that you do the same for her?

Hopefully it all works out for you.

DeCoR18

abi2007 wrote: »

No I'm actually being serious, I think you need to talk to someone professionally about why you have these feelings/issues and whats the best way to over come them. i think you need to accept the fact that most adults aren't virgins and the possiblity of your next partner having slept with someone else is ok

Em no this issue does not warrant professional help, and is a musing rather than a debiltating issue and would be a dissappointment and nothing more if I had to concede this viewpoint.

Wibbs

Closed as per OP request.

dudara

DeCoR18 Looking for a virgin partner while you yourself are not a virgin is being hypocritical.

But you know that this is not a normal view to have - as others have suggested you are best to seek some professional assistance to help you overcome this view.