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Stuck in a rut...what to do?

  • 13-01-2009 5:16pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm a 20 year old girl, and basically over the past year I've been stuck in a rut with a guy who I have feelings for, but we're just sex buddies. Ever since we first started seeing each other last year, the "relationship" has just been based on sex, and it's still going on nearly a year and a half later. He knows I have feelings for him, and I know that I'm letting myself down by just giving him what he wants all the time, and I hate myself for it, but it's like i've slipped into some kind of rut and I can't get out of it no matter how hard I try. It's ruined other potential relationships for me because no matter what, all he has to do is send me a text and I come running. Maybe this is a stupid question, but how do I stop this? I know it's wrong but I always somehow convince myself it's right...has anyone else ever been in this situation?


Comments

  • #2
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    You are emotionally attached to this man by virtue of the sex you are having with him. you are also quite possibly addicted to the thrill and excitement of the illicitness of it all, but doubtless when that dissapates you feel pretty ****e about the whole thing, and about yourself.

    Do not be fooled into thinking that at some level he is into you because he keeps texting you to come have sex with him; he isn't; he just wants soemthing other than his hand to shoot his load into.

    I don't mean to be crude, but that is the level that this relationship is at. You need to stop being a fool for this man, you need to stop giving him exactly what he wants, you need to stop believing that soemday things might change...

    Because they never will and meanwhile life will pass you by.

    GET THIS MAN OUT OF YOUR LIFE. change your number, dump you old sim, you are 20, you have a life to live.....only you can do it....start now


  • #3
    stevelknievel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 170 ✭✭stevelknievel


    I understand how you feel. It can be tough when you have feelings for someone when they don't care about you the same way. But you do have to get over this. Next time he texts you, don't give in. Say your with someone else. That's the problem with sex buddies or open relationships or whatever you wanna call it. Someone ALWAYS falls deeper than the other person and inevitably gets hurt. You have to stay strong and it will be tough. The fact is if you've been doing since 18, you have missed out on 2 of the best years of your life. Don't waste any more on someone who is not giving you what you want. Your better than that.


  • #4
    jim o doom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,474 ✭✭✭jim o doom


    My suggestion; talk to him, tell him you have feelings for him & the "sex buddy" thing has gone on long enough. If he doesn't level with you and turn the fun in to something real then bail. And by bail I mean start acting emotionally bizarre, that will generally send a bloke running.. The reason I suggest this is that you clearly want to stop this but are unable. At 20 I would consider even just dumping him anyway so you have a few free years of not being attached.. I love my OH and have been with her since I was 20 (28 now) and I couldn't be happier.. but theres a tiny piece of me that wishes I got around more when I was younger.. :) (a very tiny piece because I am dead happy)


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