Spoons

kleefarr · 13-01-2009 2:34pm #1

God led a holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished.

They were holding spoons with very long handles, that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

God said, 'You have seen Hell.'

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, 'I don't understand.'

It is simple,' said God . 'It requires but one skill.

You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'

Biggins · 13-01-2009 2:36pm

Aaa ok!

6th · 13-01-2009 2:39pm

Been drinking?

tba · 13-01-2009 2:41pm

What type of stew was it? I'm a vegetarian, does God promote the killing of animals to demonstrate his peoples love for one another. If so he can go to hell.

Also the holy mans mouth seems to be watering a lot, is this the sin of lust?

monkeyfudge · 13-01-2009 2:42pm

Seems kind of obvious... Are you sure they were greedy and not just stupid?

Sabre0001 · 13-01-2009 2:42pm

I feel bad for all the other people who opened this thread.....

Is that how this game works?

monkeyfudge · 13-01-2009 2:48pm

Sabre0001 wrote: »

I feel bad for all the other people who opened this thread.....

Is that how this game works?

You have seen hell!

Biggins · 13-01-2009 2:51pm

The time I spent reading the OP's post, can I have it back please!

CreepingDeath · 13-01-2009 2:53pm

kleefarr wrote: »

You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'

But we'd all starve to death if we fed the Ethopians and they didn't feed us.

We need natural selection to keep the worlds population in check.

Sherifu · 13-01-2009 2:56pm

Is that a parable? /shudder

kmick · 13-01-2009 2:56pm

I had the same problem last night - the spoon it seemed was longer than my arm and even though my mouth watered with the sight of delicious lambs livers I was unable to get them into my mouth. Of course I had drunk the most part of a bottle of vodka beforehand but I digress. What was I saying again Harry. Towel heads you say.

oeb · 13-01-2009 3:00pm

Hi, I would like to tell you a fun story. It's all lies, cause it did not actually happen or anything, and I either made it up, or stole it from someone who made it up.

I have decided that this story has some relevance to religion, even though I just made it up or stole it. (Which is especially apt when someone can see the fact that most parts of religion X were either just made up, or stolen from earlier religions).

We call these storys parables, and try to teach our children that they are important storys that will teach them important lessons. I think that this is a good idea because calling them "Lies we made up or stole to support the existance of more lies we made up or stole" kind of gives the game away.

The end.

artvandulet · 13-01-2009 3:01pm

tba wrote: »

What type of stew was it? I'm a vegetarian, does God promote the killing of animals to demonstrate his peoples love for one another. If so he can go to hell.

If God wanted man to be vegetarian then he wouldn't have made animals out of food.

Quazzie · 13-01-2009 3:02pm

OMG I believe now. I don't know why but it took me reading that to really BELIEVE.....

I'm off now to flog myself for my sins.... Thanks OP... You complete me....

zomgktnxbai!!!!

The_Minister · 13-01-2009 3:02pm

An easy solution - if a little messy - would be to lie on your back and let the stew run from the spoon into your mouth by raising your arm. Most would end up on the floor but you could lick most of it from your shoulders*.

*Cue everyone licking their shoulders

Deadzone · 13-01-2009 3:05pm

Vegetables aren't food,
Vegetables are what food eats.

The_Minister · 13-01-2009 3:06pm

oeb wrote: »

Hi, I would like to tell you a fun story. It's all lies, cause it did not actually happen or anything, and I either made it up, or stole it from someone who made it up.

I have decided that this story has some relevance to religion, even though I just made it up or stole it. (Which is especially apt when someone can see the fact that most parts of religion X were either just made up, or stolen from earlier religions).

We call these storys parables, and try to teach our children that they are important storys that will teach them important lessons. I think that this is a good idea because calling them "Lies we made up or stole to support the existance of more lies we made up or stole" kind of gives the game away.

The end.

You don't believe that metaphors have a place in teaching us lessons?
You believe that a good story can't teach us anything just because it isn't true?
The Pied Piper isn't true, but it teaches you to hold to the bargains you make, and act honourably.

Mingey · 13-01-2009 3:08pm

Well. This has inspired me to drawr a picture.

chin_grin · 13-01-2009 3:09pm

I see you've played knifey spooney before then?

tba · 13-01-2009 3:11pm

I think this story touches on that most important of questions, what the **** is wrong with God?

Why is he being such a bitch and only giving out long spoons?

oeb · 13-01-2009 3:13pm

The_Minister wrote: »

You don't believe that metaphors have a place in teaching us lessons?
You believe that a good story can't teach us anything just because it isn't true?
The Pied Piper isn't true, but it teaches you to hold to the bargains you make, and act honourably.

I believe experience is much better, but my post was more about poking fun at the catholic churches overuse of parables. Maybe I should get a big banner that says 'This post may contain some ironing' and I can put it in all my sigs.

Quazzie · 13-01-2009 3:16pm

Mingey wrote: »

Well. This has inspired me to drawr a picture.

Please someone tell me how I can put that pic in my sig

The_Minister · 13-01-2009 3:25pm

oeb wrote: »

I believe experience is much better, but my post was more about poking fun at the catholic churches overuse of parables. Maybe I should get a big banner that says 'This post may contain some ironing' and I can put it in all my sigs.

All religions use parables, not just the Catholic Church. I'd bet that even Atheist parents use them in one form or another.

And btw, it's spelt 'irony', and you don't know what it is.

slipss · 13-01-2009 3:32pm

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

OMG I believe now. I don't know why but it took me reading that to really BELIEVE.....

I'm off now to flog myself for my sins.... Thanks OP... You complete me....

zomgktnxbai!!!!

Ehh, I'm fairly certain the point of the story was greed is bad....not, believe in god...you're not very good at this are you? You know what else is bad...sarcasm, that's bad, oh oh and being an internet ass that tries to be clever but always misses the point, that's bad too.

oeb · 13-01-2009 3:38pm

The_Minister wrote: »

All religions use parables, not just the Catholic Church. I'd bet that even Atheist parents use them in one form or another.

And btw, it's spelt 'irony', and you don't know what it is.

What are you on about?

Quazzie · 13-01-2009 3:41pm

slipss wrote: »

Ehh, I'm fairly certain the point of the story was greed is bad....not, believe in god...you're not very good at this are you? You know what else is bad...sarcasm, that's bad, oh oh and being an internet ass that tries to be clever but always misses the point, that's bad too.

Who mentioned God???? I think I'm better at this than you to be fair!!

slipss · 13-01-2009 3:45pm

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

Who mentioned God???? I think I'm better at this than you to be fair!!

Well technically you did start your post with the abbreviation for Oh My God, so well, you mentioned god. Have at you sir.

Quazzie · 13-01-2009 3:48pm

slipss wrote: »

Well technically you did start your post with the abbreviation for Oh My God, so well, you mentioned god.

Clutching.... Straws..... FAIL!!!

slipss · 13-01-2009 3:51pm

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

Clutching.... Straws..... FAIL!!!

Didn't i already mention this internet ass thing.

Terry · 13-01-2009 3:53pm

Pfft. Noobs.
There is no spoon.

javaboy · 13-01-2009 3:58pm

So the Holy man was either greedy or thick. Otherwise he would have understood straight away why the second group were well fed and happy. I mean I could see the punchline coming before they even got to the second room.

Doesn't say much for Holy men does it?

Roadend · 13-01-2009 3:58pm

Mingey wrote: »

Well. This has inspired me to drawr a picture.

You forgot about the other room

Peteee · 13-01-2009 4:09pm

Mah spoon is too big!

Spoons

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