Stop my infatuation

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Going unregistered for this one.

I have recently become infatuated with a co-worker.

I cant say there is any good reason for it as I never used to fancy them before, I dont think I have a huge lot in common with them, the only thing I can think of is that they are very social which I am too, and we often end up out together( in the company of others )

The reason I am concerned about this is I am married - I don't for a minute love my partner any less because of this, in fact some comparisons I've made while trying to rationalize this have really highlighted to me why it is I love my partner so much in the first place, yet I cannot get this other person out of my head !

Can somebody help ? I am afraid changing job is not an option as is not seeing them socially as I tried staying home on a night they were out and that made me a lot worse !

This is stupid - I have not felt like this since I was 20 and I know I'll get over this too, but how can I make it happen fast !

many thanks

LegacyUser

Having had this experience before, i tried to hold off for a while, and it didn't stop.

I ended up leaving partly because of it, and something else. After about 3 weeks I was clear and was a relief. Although i also moved cities.....how close do you live to them? Would you be close enough to bump into her in the street sometimes?

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi guys,

Can somebody help ? I am afraid changing job is not an option as is not seeing them socially as I tried staying home on a night they were out and that made me a lot worse !

many thanks

This is ridiculous, you tried not going to a night out, try harder! You have to distance yourself from this person and stop going to social work things for a while. Imagine you and this other girl got together and your wife found out, how do you think you would feel then? Full of regret I would guess. What if you found out your wife was cheating or thinking about someone else? You need to put things into perspective and realise what is important.

Beruthiel

Unregistered wrote: »

The reason I am concerned about this is I am married

If you are married then you are an adult. Start acting like one and get over it.
We can all fancy other people, but if you are in a happy relationship/married, then you are grown up enough to leave it at that.

I tried staying home on a night they were out and that made me a lot worse !

Seriously. Do you know how childish that comes across as?

Find another job if you cannot control yourself, your marriage is more important than a job.

jim o doom

I agree with Beruthial - but in the current economy leaving your job probably wouldn't be the smartest thing to do; especially if there are kids or a mortgage involved. That being said; just don't socialse when the object of your infatuation is out. Simple as. Avoid avoid avoid until you get your head sorted out.

LegacyUser

It seems very simple to me; which is more important to you? your marriage or this other person. Make up your mind and then behave like you know you should.

Money Shot

Beruthiel wrote: »

, your marriage is more important than a job.

Depends on the Marriage
And the job