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Does this make me a shallow person?

  • 10-01-2009 11:53pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Been with bf for a good few years now, obviously when we first started going out I really fancied him but lately I just don't. I still love him but I just don't find him attractive anymore... Lately I've found myself thinking really shallow thoughts - like I wish he was better-looking, etc... Are you supposed to think your OH is good-looking, even if (objectively speaking) they're not? Or can you acknowledge that they're not traditionally good-looking, but once you're attracted to them it doesn't matter? Uggghhh I'm definitely shallow...


Comments

  • #2
    Liam Byrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    Try this exercise:

    Think for a moment how you'd feel if he said that, for all your relationship's good points, that he wished you were "better looking".

    Then, list those good points.

    You've said you're attracted to him, and you could probably find someone "better-looking" but not as much fun or as much chemistry.....would you be happier with them ? I doubt it.

    We all go through stages, and if you dwell on them they'll grow to consume your thoughts. Sometimes how you feel about someone makes them better-looking in your eyes. I've have thought someone's pretty good looking and then, after chatting with them, their manner and eyes and personality made them gorgeous altogether; I've also had good reason to go completely off someone (personality and trust-wise) and, once that happened, I couldn't even remotely see how I ever considered them hot.

    So looks aren't, in fact, just looks.....strange, isn't it ?

    Anyways try to put it out of your mind and enjoy what's there. And try to add a bit of excitement or novelty into things to get the spark back - sometimes habit and routine can cause "fancying" someone to wane a bit.

    Good luck!!!


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