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LegacyUser

Can I ask peoples opinion on something that has been bothering me.

My Girlfriend loves hugs and public displays of affection like holding hands and walking arm in arm all the time. I am not thrilled with this and tend not to do this if I can help it. I do like her and think she is special but am I wrong to object to these displays.

Any advice is welcome

minidazzler

Depends really on the Puclic situation, Sitting in a Park Kissing is OK.

But if she wants a long, lingering, we are the only two people in the world, hug on somewhere Like Grafton Street when people are trying to get past you then there is a problem.

However, it's all about what you are comfortable doing, if you are not comfortable Hugging her in Publc thats fine. But not liking to hold hands???? I don't get why you would have a problem with that.

Antilles

Am I wrong? wrote: »

Can I ask peoples opinion on something that has been bothering me.

My Girlfriend loves hugs and public displays of affection like holding hands and walking arm in arm all the time. I am not thrilled with this and tend not to do this if I can help it. I do like her and think she is special but am I wrong to object to these displays.

Any advice is welcome

Sorry mate but yes you are wrong. Over the top displays of affection (like feeling each other up or something) are not on, but holding hands and hugging is part of being in a couple.

The only reason not to hold hands with your girlfriend is if you are ashamed to be seen with her.

cailinban

Hello,

I'm sorry to sound a bit strange but I am very affectionate and if my OH didn't learn to put up with the occasional kiss and cuddle i'd have walked away. Hugs and kisses are not only nice, they're a good reminder of your relationship's identity. Why be in love if you can't even enjoy what being in love brings?

Is it an idea where you don't want to look like a mushy couple thing? Well if you do, you know what who cares! The only people who would have a REAL problem with it would be those who were either envious or those who had recently lost something like what you have. And of course, if your other half is someone special, show her off to the world, you have now to make her feel like the luckiest woman in the whole planet, so hold her hand and show her you care. In five years nobody will remember you as the mushy couple. But she'll recall the wonderful moments she had with you, instead of the moments she could have had but was told she couldn't have because it was a public place!

monellia

You should tell your girlfriend that you're uncomfortable with being touchy-feely in public. Make sure to assure her that you love being physically affectionate with her, and explain that it's not her who makes you feel uneasy about showing your affection. It's social situations. Honesty is the best policy.

It's not your fault that 'pda' makes you uncomfortable, but I do think it would benefit you to address why you are so adverse to the idea of being physical in public. Do you think it could be rooted in an aversion to exposing yourself emotionally for fear of being judged? Interacting physically with a lover can be a very intimate experience, and we usually connect it with very private and personal feelings. When you interact in public, it may accordingly feel like you're laying these feelings bare for the world to see and that makes you uncomfortable. This disposition is prevalent in people who are very private in general.

Sorry if I'm being over-analytical. Good luck with it anyway.

tannytantans

If you're not comfortable then definitely explain to your girlfriend as the above poster said. Do you give her affection when the two of you are alone?I don't see what the problem weould be with hand holding but maybe if she wants hugs/kisses in public I can see why you mightn't like it. But again speak to the gf and maybe you can reach a compromise

MJOR

As most others said: Floor shows wouldn't be acceptable but holding hands and a little stolen kiss is grand.

My friends bf tongues her in the local before he goes to the bar.toilet,smoking area and that is a bit mank and make me cringe alright. Like a kiss is grand but foreplay... Nooooooooooooo.

Are you ashamed of her or just really self concious?

LegacyUser

I'm a 22 year old girl and i HATE PDA's. My boyf isnt big on them either which id good. A girl I live with cant even sit on the couch in our sitting room with her boyf without draping her legs across him and holding hands...i mean 24/7 and it infuriates me!

Aard

Antilles wrote: »

The only reason not to hold hands with your girlfriend is if you are ashamed to be seen with her.

I don't agree that that would be the "only reason". Perhaps the OP is worried about personal safety, e.g. scumbags coming up and hassling him and his 'mot'. Or maybe he has low self-confidence and blushes whenever he sees somebody looking at him while holding his girlfriend's hand.

Whatever the reason, OP, I think you need to get over this little hurdle. Being in a relationship, you will have *much* more difficult things to overcome than holding hands in the street. If you can't deal with this, then what about all the more difficult stuff that WILL DEFINITELY happen? Time to bite the bullet, and while you're at it make your girlfriend feel loved.

MJOR

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm a 22 year old girl and i HATE PDA's. My boyf isnt big on them either which id good. A girl I live with cant even sit on the couch in our sitting room with her boyf without draping her legs across him and holding hands...i mean 24/7 and it infuriates me!

Some people are just like that though

marzic

its different strokes(pardon the pun). I had a gf who didnt feel comfy with kissing in public, I was 25 she was 29. I wasnt all over her but i used to like a bit of a snog ocassionally in d pub. she said it was because how she was raised and that they werent tactile(sp) at home, and they just didnt show affection, where as we would to give ma&da a kiss at bedtime and say i love you. There could be something in that, some people are just selfconscious especially men

LegacyUser

Thank you for the replies. I am attentive in private but I do find it hard to do PDA.

I thought this would be enough.

This has been helpful to get some different views.