Do you give the gifts back after a break up

LegacyUser · 10-01-2009 7:02pm #1

Hi just wondering wherther or not you are supposed to give stuff back after a break up, expensive stuff like ipods etc

towel401 · 10-01-2009 7:28pm

NO

Free stuffs!

sell on ebay or 2nd hand shop if you can't stand to look at them.

Fajitas! · 10-01-2009 7:30pm

No.

rosarosa · 10-01-2009 7:35pm

I think it depends on the nature of the gift. For example, definitely return an engagement ring!!!

If it was lacey underwear, then perhaps just keep it?

If it was a gift to be shared like an expensive TV set, or something, why not just give it back to lessen the hurt? If your ex went to a great deal to get it and starts bitching about it, then give it back, they never gave it freely, so why prolong the misery?

If your ex truly cared about you, they won't mention any gifts, as they were given with the best of intentions. There won't be any trouble and you can use the gift the way in which it was intended---for you to have and enjoy.

CathyMoran · 10-01-2009 7:36pm

If it was an engagement ring then yes, but otherwise why should you?

m83 · 10-01-2009 7:56pm

Don't bother.. the less messy the breakup the better.

Koushki · 10-01-2009 8:00pm

everyone keeps saying ''gifts'' but the op didn't mention gifts they just said ''stuff''

if your ex has left their ipod in your house then yes, return it.
If they gave it to you as a present, then no, it's yours.

subway · 10-01-2009 8:05pm

Koushki wrote: »

everyone keeps saying ''gifts'' but the op didn't mention gifts they just said ''stuff''

if your ex has left their ipod in your house then yes, return it.
If they gave it to you as a present, then no, it's yours.

it says gifts in the title.

and keep them unless its causing trouble.

Talliesin · 10-01-2009 8:09pm

They did mention gifts in the title of the thread.

Generally the acceptable thing; originally a convention, later reflected in Anglo-Saxon Law and still the legal position AFAIK is that engagement rings should be given back (or you should at least offer) which does back to a time when they would be pretty much considered a token of an agreement (you could once sue a fiancé who left you), but any other gift is the property of the recipient and theirs without question.

Now, all that said there might be stuff that it makes emotional sense (based on whatever went on between the two people when the gift was given) to return or at least offer to return. You don't have to, but it might be the decent thing in some cases.

Of course, stuff left behind that wasn't actually given should be returned.

LegacyUser · 10-01-2009 8:23pm

I'd imagine, they gave you those gifts cos they really cared. Break ups are really messy. Alot of fights, stupid fights follow. If you feel guilty cos of the value of the gift, then perhaps make it up to them somehow. I assume you cared alot about this person at one time. They don't deserve what they gave you to be given back to them.

Do you give the gifts back after a break up

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