How long to wait after a break up?

LegacyUser

Hi. There is this girl i am crazy about in college. Both in different courses but every few weeks I might see her out. I noticed her around a few times and one night decided to go up and introduce myself, got pretty drunk and told her I liked her, she said she had a boyfrined of 3 years so sort of left it at that. Continued to see her out a few times and since I knew she had a boyfriend I was strangly more at ease around her than if she didnt if you know what I mean. I put it out of my mind that anything would happen and just relaxed and enjoyed her company. Anyway, a couple of months later (prob seen her out about 3-4 times now) she told me she was crazy about me. This was out of the blue as I hadnt tried anything with her. I of course didnt do anything about this as I knew she had a boyfriend and just put it down to the drink.

That was about a month ago and I have recently found out she is now single. We have text each other a few times in between and she never mentioned this but she did kind of hint at something now thinking back which I didnt think about at the time. Now she is single I have tried to remind her a couple of times that I am into her but she has just ignored it and replied to whatever else I had said in the text etc . I dont want to come off like Im being a sleaze and trying to get her on the rebound as quick as possible because I know break ups can be hard and she probably needs time but Im gonna see her out again in a couple of weeks and just looking for an opinion of wether I shoud go for it or not or is it too early after the end of a 3 year relationship. Also even though she told me she was crazy about me before I get a feeling she may not exactly feel that way and so dont want to end up going in for the kill and get rejected and look like a vulture who was just waiting to pounce. I was thinking of leaving it for a few months, just stay friends but she has plenty of male admirers and Im worried I may miss my chance!!

SamuelFox

Its up to the person coming out of the relationship - there are no hard and fast rules. I suppose it depends on so many things- how long it lasted, the reason for the break-up, the intensity, etc.

Either way, you've laid your cards on the table and she knows where you stand. If I were you I'd play it cool, keep in touch as a mate and when she's ready she'll let you know.

Two notes of caution tho - if she sees you as a factor in the break-up (i.e. that if she dumped her BF because she fancied you) guilt might stop her going with you, and more likely, if she is just out of a long term relationship she might not want any thing more than a casual fling, so knowing you want more might scare her off.

Anyway, play it by ear, don't crowd her, see what happens.

That_Guy

The most important thing is not to smother her. Play it cool for now and if you see her out see what happens but don't get your hopes up too high or you might feel let down if nothing happens.

In order to avoid an awkward situation don't make the first move.

Text her but not frequently. Have a general conversation. Ask her how her day was etc.

Best of luck with this. She said she likes you so that's definitely a positive thing to grasp onto.

LegacyUser

OP here. Appreciate the replies guys. Yea I was thinking of laying off her and leaving it to her to make the move. I guess its just finding that balance between staying in touch enough and friendly enough so that she knows im interested without smothering her or going the opposite way and not showing her any interest so that she thinks im not interested. Also I highly doubt she would be interested in another relationship so soon after a 3 year one so she will prob just want to be single for a while and have fun.....I guess its all just bad timing I guess. Best not to get my hopes up. Story of my life with women!