Fatal zombie flaw

seeker099

Look dont worry about zombies, they have one flaw that makes them useless.
They cant open a tin of beans!!! as a result all i have to do is wait it out in me gaff with a can opener while they rott. done! should take about 8 to 10 days so you'll need atleast 20 tins or 4 cartering size. By that time i should be protiened up and ready to repopulate the earth and or provide methane gas to the villagers.

thefinalstage

seeker099 wrote: »

Look dont worry about zombies, they have one flaw that makes them useless.
They cant open a tin of beans!!! as a result all i have to do is wait it out in me gaff with a can opener while they rott. done! should take about 8 to 10 days so you'll need atleast 20 tins or 4 cartering size. By that time i should be protiened up and ready to repopulate the earth and or provide methane gas to the villagers.

ahaahahaha! You need clean water too.

Also, thats regular decay rates. Some noted examples have taken up to 5 years to rot. Have you got that many beans!?

Genghiz Cohen

seeker099 wrote: »

Look dont worry about zombies, they have one flaw that makes them useless.
They cant open a tin of beans!!! as a result all i have to do is wait it out in me gaff with a can opener while they rott. done! should take about 8 to 10 days so you'll need atleast 20 tins or 4 cartering size. By that time i should be protiened up and ready to repopulate the earth and or provide methane gas to the villagers.

Max Brooks claims that Solanum - the virus that causes Zs - kills all non-human life (Put aside the fact humans die then are reanimated, you and your semantics), including the bacteria that would cause decay. The only way for a Z to decay is through exertion, tearing muscle tissue (which happens to all animals) but they cant regrow that tissue, so they then eventually fall apart.
As pointed out, it may take a number of years. And what happens to Zs in the water? They float/sink and are washed up all over the world and can easily cause another outbreak. The same goes for Zs that venture too far north in summer, winter rolls around they freeze then thaw in the summer, again possibly causing an outbreak.

Think long term.

I really think that the OP to worry more about Trolls than Zombies!

So what happens if the tin opener breaks?

seeker099

Look zombies, regardless of how the infection works or what it is, are subject to the laws of the universe, so they are not an endless supply of energy yes? As a result, if they cannot replenish there source of energy (eating) they will vanish, either by decay or simply there tissue will fall apart. Plus the fact that they do not drink, not even bottled water means there tissue will dry out, technically known as "juicing".

As we know, due to extensive studies on value mince from tesco. Most meat will dry out and become hard in about 8 to 10 days, coincidencely the exact amount of time it takes to get bored of watching endless repeats of your porn collection. So at the point where you want to venture out they will be all but gone.

Secondly as for water, i would drink it from the tap or rain water, or stock pile it before hand with me beans.(IMPORTANT: not those kidney lads, they are pants and dont come in tomato sauce)

Thirdly, just boil your water as nothing in the know universe can survive that.Not even the H,I,J,K or even the L,M,N,O,P strain or the virus.

Fourthly, stock pile your can openers incase of breakage. (not likely if you buy from M&S, they are well sturdy).

Now please people can we have some calm about this, be reassured that "Beans Attack Plan for Survival" B.A.P.S is the only solution. I will sent you a hand book on it if you want, and in the event of an outbreak you can get your B.A.P.S out in time, and hopefully it wont be long before the undead are "Juicing" themselves to death because of our B.A.P.S! But you must be careful not to spill your beans all over you or anybody else's B.A.P.S before the zombies have finished "Juicing" as you never know when you may need them again.

seeker099

seeker099 wrote: »

Look zombies, regardless of how the infection works or what it is, are subject to the laws of the universe, so they are not an endless supply of energy yes? As a result, if they cannot replenish there source of energy (eating) they will vanish, either by decay or simply there tissue will fall apart. Plus the fact that they do not drink, not even bottled water means there tissue will dry out, technically known as "juicing".

As we know, due to extensive studies on value mince from tesco. Most meat will dry out and become hard in about 8 to 10 days, coincidencely the exact amount of time it takes to get bored of watching endless repeats of your porn collection. So at the point where you want to venture out they will be all but gone.

Secondly as for water, i would drink it from the tap or rain water, or stock pile it before hand with me beans.(IMPORTANT: not those kidney lads, they are pants and dont come in tomato sauce)

Thirdly, just boil your water as nothing in the know universe can survive that.Not even the H,I,J,K or even the L,M,N,O,P strain or the virus.

Fourthly, stock pile your can openers incase of breakage. (not likely if you buy from M&S, they are well sturdy).

Now please people can we have some calm about this, be reassured that "Beans Attack Plan for Survival" B.A.P.S is the only solution. I will sent you a hand book on it if you want, and in the event of an outbreak you can get your B.A.P.S out in time, and hopefully it wont be long before the undead are "Juicing" themselves to death because of our B.A.P.S! But you must be careful not to spill your beans all over you or anybody else's B.A.P.S before the zombies have finished "Juicing" as you never know when you may need them again.

Don't know if you're a troll or not - but I have to say, you're a funny fecker!

seeker099

Deleted User wrote: »

Don't know if you're a troll or not - but I have to say, you're a funny fecker!

Oh laugh it up Druss, you'll be the first to want to see me B.A.P.S when the time comes.

Nerin

lawl

toke jopic