need a lil advice? help?

taragurl

Hi first post so here i go, im a 23 yo guy from Dublin. I kinda need some advice, im a "straight" guy (i think) but i really enjoy wearing womens clothing and underwear? I have a GF for 3+ years who is very understanding and sexually adventurous but does not know about my dressing?

She is someone i care a lot about and want to tell but Im afraid she will freak out? She is no stranger to different things but i fear this may be a lil much for her? The reason Im thinking of telling her is due to her discovery that i am kinda fond of anal play. Which at the time i thought would be the end of us but to my surprise is was totally cool with her?

Is there anyone out there who has had a a similar experience or who can offer any advice from a lady's point of view??

Thanks!!

Zaph

Moved from The Ladies Lounge

Jimmy Bottlehead

If you're with the girl I think she deserves to know of this. Here's the options:

You tell her, she freaks out and you break up

or

You keep it hidden, she finds out, can't handle it and you break up

Or

You keep it hidden, you feel unfulfilled, something goes wrong and you break up

or

You tell her and she's ok with it.



By the sounds of things she's an open minded girl... I'd go for it. She deserves to know the real you, good and bad, normal and odd.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Firstly I'll admit I know nothing about straight men who enjoy wearing womens clothes. Perhaps if you could provide some info on what you find enjoyable about it it would be helpful.

I think it would be really strange if one of my mates told me they did it. I think it might alter my perception of them, whereas one of them telling me they were gay wouldn't.

I'll admit that it's somewhat narrow minded, but I think most people are narrow minded to this extent. My point is, it's quite likely your girlfriend's gonna find it really weird, she's goign to be concerned that you might be gay, and that's an understandable concern for her.

Is it something you've always done, or a phase type thing? Have you ever talked to a counsellor to find out why you enjoy it? I'm not saying it's something wrong with you but I'd advocate going to a counsellor over the most minor of things.

I think there's a high chance she'll want to get out if she finds out. I don't think the anal play thing is at all comparable.

m83

She sounds cool but telling her this would be huge. She'd most likely assume you were gay or bisexual. Tell her if you feel you must otherwise keep it under wraps.

CianRyan

Well to avoide her thinking your gay, if you are going to tell her, why not start off with, "I'm not gay but..."

Just an idea?
I dont see anything wrong with this and tbh, i quite enjoy a bit of dress up myself, i wouldnt do it just to do it, but if i was at a party and the girls asked for a guy to dress up id be first in line.
Idk, just something fun about wearing a skirt and putting on make up.

My mates know what I'm like, and tbh, they really donr care at all.
These, the same people, that if i another guy wa to touch their leg, they'd either laugh or be horrified depending on the sittuation.

The last girl i went out with actually said once, that she'd sorta be into going out with a guy that wore girls clothes.


I dont know if any of this has helped at all, but i just want you to know, its nothing to be ashamed off and you shouldnt have to keep it a secret.

Craft25

I dunno why everyone has immediately linked cross dressing with being gay. Drag queens are associated with the gay community alright, but that is quite a separate issue as far as i'm aware. Just from a little bit of googling it seems to mention more about getting to know your feminine side than anything else.

When you imagine telling her, what in your mind is your dream outcome? 1) she accepts and you become closer, more intimate and stronger. or 2) she accepts and you feel like you need to tell more... I cant see how if you never thought you were gay how that would change somehow.

If it helps you get it sure in your mind that you are definitely straight, then go see a counsellor first... if you are able then to reassure her that you are definitely straight and what it is all about, what it means to you... then i can only see it bringing you closer together... if she can't accept it she seems silly to me

taragurl

Thanks for all the replies,

in answer to some questions, the reason is dress is because i enjoy th feeling of wearing the clothes? they make me feel happy and comfy and sexy? sometimes i just spend hours walking around my house dressed because i like the feeling it gives? My GF is a understanding lady, we have always been able to talk about just about anything? but my main fear is that this maybe too much? i have made jokes to her about it before and she didnt seem to fond of the idea?

I dont feel myself to be gay, i like women and have never really been interested in guys? I guess im just looking to find out if anyone out there has been in this situation or even if any ladies out there have a BF who dresses?

Any help is good help and thanks alot to all the posters.

Tara

Bottle_of_Smoke

Craft25 wrote: »

I dunno why everyone has immediately linked cross dressing with being gay. Drag queens are associated with the gay community alright, but that is quite a separate issue as far as i'm aware. Just from a little bit of googling it seems to mention more about getting to know your feminine side than anything else.

That's factual & logical, but the fact is people *have* linked it to being gay and there's a good chance the OP's girlfriend will too.

biko

Like Eddie Izzard has said:

“Cause if you're a transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy, that's where the sexuality is. Yeah, it's not drag queen, no; gay men have got that covered. This is male tomboy, and people do get that mixed up, they put transvestite there - no no no no! Little bit of a crowbar separation, thank you! And gay men, I think, would agree. It's male lesbian, that's really where it is, ok? Because… it's true! ‘Cause most transvestites fancy girls, fancy women. So that's where it is.”