Blast from the past.

LegacyUser

Hey, I'll try keep this one short, just looking for opinions etc.

Basically, 5 or so years ago I was doing a course, there was also a lady doing a similar course, but at times the classes would be merged. I can honestly say that from the first minute I seen this girl that I was blown away, you know all that stuff that you hear about in songs and movie, the head spinning, weak at the knees, racing heart etc etc, well I got all that just being in the same room as her, cant describe it! Never had it before and havent felt it since! I think, and I say 'think' that there was something there with her too, or perhaps I was imagining it, just the way she'd look at me at times, hmmm.

Anyway, me being incredibly stupid, nervous, shy etc never got to know her, in fact never really even made and effort to talk to her, which, to this day I have regretted and have thought about it a lot! I tried once, but stuffed it up, so bloody embarrasing.

Anyway, like I said, been 5 years or so, have grown up alot, had some experiences with life (and the opposite sex!). So I just happened, out of interest to google the ladys name the other night (as you do......right? :P) and I came upon her bebo page!!! arghh, hadnt seen her in so long, heart nearly stopped!!

I'm just thinking, what should I do? Should I leave it be or just drop her a note to say hello? Its the 'dropping a note to say hello' that I'm afraid of, how the heck would I do it? 'Yeah, I googled your name, you dont know me, but I know you'.......sounds creepy, right? :P

That wasnt short was it?

Adam

it's bebo. find some common ground. everyone knows everyone in this bloody country! :P

i say do it, worst case scenario she thinks it's odd and doesn't respond. but if she likes you she probably won't do that, so you've nothing to lose!

LegacyUser

thanks for the advice Mirror. Thing is, there is no common ground, none whatsoever. I'll have to let this stew in my mind a lil' longer

LegacyUser

If you think she might remember you I'd say go for it, or if it's bebo why not just try and add her as a friend and then see if she declines or accepts it. After that since you never see her in person I'd say a small comment can't hurt. If she doesn't reply you'll survive.

kittensoft1984

Hey Op,

Id say go for it too!

People add people and send them messages all the time on bebo! She wont think its odd! My advice would be to send her a private message and not just a comment though!

Doesnt matter if there is no common ground....you can literally come across ANYONE on bebo!!

Go for it!!!

ReacherCreature

kittensoft1984 wrote: »

My advice would be to send her a private message and not just a comment though!

Go with this. Don't send a comment, it's way too public and people will read any on going convesations that might happen between ye.

A message is more personal (personal and bebo; never thought I'd say that in one sentence) but they're more personal than a comment. The fact that she's received a mail will intrigue her too.

Give it a lash dude!

towel401

kittensoft1984 wrote: »

Hey Op,

Id say go for it too!

People add people and send them messages all the time on bebo! She wont think its odd! My advice would be to send her a private message and not just a comment though!

Doesnt matter if there is no common ground....you can literally come across ANYONE on bebo!!

Go for it!!!

unless she is one of those paranoid types who refuses to talk to anyone on there they don't hang around with in real life. they have become increasingly common

but nothing toulouse. just some people react badly to getting a message from someone they don't know

littlebug

What have you got to lose? I got an email a while back from someone from the past who'd googled me. He was still single and possibly had ulterior motives though he never said so, but you know it was lovely to hear from him and get an update on his life and on people I hadn't seen or heard from for years. Contact did peter out after a while (maybe because I was married with kids or maybe it was going to happen anyway) but either way it was nice to hear from him.

That Girl..

Don't send her a private msg.. I think thats a bit more creepy!!

You could actually be the ultimate creep and read her comments and see where shegoes out the weekend, go there and get chattin to her.

You've more of a chance this way rather than writin her a comment over bebo:)

littlebug

That Girl.. wrote: »

Don't send her a private msg.. I think thats a bit more creepy!!

You could actually be the ultimate creep and read her comments and see where shegoes out the weekend, go there and get chattin to her.

You've more of a chance this way rather than writin her a comment over bebo:)

Gosh I think that's way creepier...

r3nu4l

A private message just to say:

'Hi, I don't know if you remember me but we did that course on [insert course here] about 5 years ago at [insert place here]. I just wanted to catch up and say hello.'

Leave it at that at first. If she responds then you can keep mailing her and when you feel the time is right ask her if she'd like to meet. I would suggest that you ask her to meet somewhere public first, a coffee shop or something, during the day, perhaps Saturday at lunchtime or something. She may get freaked about meeting a guy she barely knows and has only chatted to online, at a pub late at night.

That Girl..

littlebug wrote: »

Gosh I think that's way creepier...

I know but there's more chance of him getting to know her better than bebo?? When she reads his comment there's a chance she won't write back if she doesn't remember him, i know i don't write back to randommers..

Just sayin, its another idea!

towel401

littlebug wrote: »

Gosh I think that's way creepier...

everything is creepy these days.

Chucky the tree

I think you'll be doing very well to not come off as a creep no matter what you do. You could message her saying your trying to organise a class re-union or something like that.

blast05

I'm just thinking, what should I do?

Well it obvious, tell us her name so we can have a look at Bebo and make our own minds up

Silverfish

blast05, Please read the charter with relation to off-topic and unhelpful posting.

spiderbaby21

go for it mate, you said you bottled it the last time, add her as friend on bebo and send short but simple message saying hi and i remember you from bla bla bla you know the drill, go for it!

lolli

Op,

I think you should add her and send her a short message just to say hi, I have added and been added by people i went to school or college with never really think twice about it really.

All us girls who read boards and are on bebo will now be waiting for a HI do you remember me message :P

LegacyUser

Guys and girls, again, many thanks for taking the time to reply to my topic, all the replies are appreciated and taken onboard.

Chucky the tree, I think you're right, no matter what I do it is gonna come off a little weird alright and she doesnt seem to be the type that just adds random people, but whom has just a few friends added. I could send a short message, no bother, I could do it now, but its the result it'll have, I suppose I'm automatically thinking that its gonna be negative, ie. she'll think I'm strange, wont remember me, or just wont want to talk to me, then I'll feel like a complete and utter fool! Got to get out of that mindset I suppose and just take a chance, at least then I know I've tried.

LOL@Lolli, pheew, well you've saved me having to send a mail so, so will you be my friend? :P .... I joke!

Thanks again guys!

Kirnsy

Chucky the tree wrote: »

I think you'll be doing very well to not come off as a creep no matter what you do. You could message her saying your trying to organise a class re-union or something like that.

what if she says yes to your 'class reunion' and turns up to a very exclusive one comprising of her and you ???! :rolleyes:

go for it....

all you have to lose is your current anonymity!!

CianRyan

Yo op, you actually sound a lot like some one i know (me)!

I use to be horrible shy and just freak out when it came to girls, and had let so many GOLDEN opertunities pass me by for that reason, and that reason alone.
Having grown up now and probably feeling somewhat like yourself.

As far as bebo goes, just say you were randomly searching profiles and you came across her, people do it all the time, at least i know me and my mates do it.

Just add her first, and then when she accepts just say something like,

"Hey, haven't talk to you in years. I was just looking through some profiles out of bordom and stumbled upon yours.
Hows life been for you, the course any help?"

Don't make it obvious that you are romanticly interested in her, play it cool just talking at first, and over time, (weeks not hours) suggest it and work from there.
You dont want to scare her away, imagine some one you knew fro years ago flirting with you the minute you started talking after 5 years!
Ya know what i mean?




But most importantly, and hear me on this one.

What i really get it how you felt the first time you saw her, i know EXACTLY how you felt.
I have some one i feel the same way about, i am very close to them, but not in the way i would like.
We tried twice but distance was a killer for us.
Now being so close but not being together feels odd but not bad.

See your plan through and go for this girl, dont let this opertunity pass you by, you will be kicking yourself!!
And if it doesnt work out, dont let that get in the way of your interest in other women, i made this mistake and it took a long time to correct this.

And one last thing, the longer you wait, the harder this is going to be.


Good luck man, hope it all works out for you!

Chucky the tree

Kirnsy wrote: »

what if she says yes to your 'class reunion' and turns up to a very exclusive one comprising of her and you ???! :rolleyes:

Eh, obviously you dont organise one. Just tell her that not alot of people were around/interested in going so you gave up on the idea. :rolleyes:

Craft25

Add her..

Message her(public unless you're askin her out/swappin numbers)... hey whats up havent spoken to you in ages, what you up to these days..(she must have some of your classmates in common on de friend list?..add them too)

i wouldn't go joining the dots in your head however and project to the two of ye together, just see how it goes if she's friendly, if you are able to have a laugh, take it from there

carlowguy32

go for it, say you came across her page by accident, you know someone that has a similar name, just make up something, initation is about 90% of it, after that if she responds your nearky there, you could also check all her comments to see if she is in a relationsiplet us know how you got on, this will be interesting

Kirnsy

Chucky the tree wrote: »

Eh, obviously you dont organise one. Just tell her that not alot of people were around/interested in going so you gave up on the idea. :rolleyes:

ah..... touché.....lucky for me im not the OP or my 'class reunion' could have ended up being a bit awkward!

OP go with chucky's plan and let us know how you get on...

LegacyUser

I've come into the same predicament as the OP, although the timescale is much longer; she was someone in my class in primary school, from a neighbouring town, her Dad was our doctor for a time, both our older sisters were friends, but over the course of time, changing schools, etc, contact was lost. So I happened to be reading a scientific newsletter last night, and it turns out she's the editor of it (I'm almost certain it's her), so there's no shortage of contact information at my disposal.

I'm thinking too much about it though, I know I should just drop her an exploratory e-mail, there's really no harm, see if it really is her, but how would any of the females here react to something like this? I still feel like I'm intruding somehow.

MsMolly

couple of things i thing you need to address before you attempt to stick a message on her page, comment or pm. either way the first thing she'll do is click on you to see your page? do you even have one, or are you going to open one for this purpose, in which case that would look a bit creepy that she was the first one you decided to contact. But if you have a page and a significant amount of friends then i imagine she will just see it as someone who is just adding to their friend list. thats how i'd read it and i wouldn't see it as creepy. so she accepts you as a friend, and you mail back all nonchantality (after a week or so) as if you'd forgotten you'd contacted her and take it from there. make sure you end each mail with a question so initially she'll feel obligated to reply until she realises what a witty scribe you are and hey presto you're well on your way to friends at least. she won't find it weird you looked her up, if she didn't want to be looked up she would have gone anon. best of luck, let us know how you get on !!!:)

Trinity

Jeez wish i made someone go weak at the knees

From a girls point of view i would be flattered, but try send a message cos i get a lot of randoms requests for friends and if i dont know them i just reject.

What have you got to lose?

lolli

PassingTru wrote: »

LOL@Lolli, pheew, well you've saved me having to send a mail so, so will you be my friend? :P .... I joke!

Yeah of course Op, i've been waiting for years for you

Bender's Game

OP you can't really think of bebo as a proper way to communicate to someone you dont really know, from a class five years ago, that you never really talked to!what your planning to do is try and have a normal conversation based on no previous communication other than sometimes catching her eye? i know you got weak at the knees about this girl but what do you know about her,other than she makes you go like jelly at the knees! if you ask me thats as creepy as the stalk her page and turn up on her night out with friends idea. add her at most if she engages you then your ok, if not your gonna have to live with the past. sorry man.

LegacyUser

Thanks again to all those whom posted since my last reply. Dont worry, I'm not gonna organise a 'class reunion' where only two people turn up! lol, that aint gonna happen, interesting idea but it wouldnt work.

To MsMolly, yeah I do have a page, I didnt make one on her account, a well grounded page too might I add :P.

I'm not gonna propose marraige to this girl or anything, jeez, lol, it was just that there was something about this particular person that really stuck me, I never really got to find out just what kind of person she is or what it was in the first place that caught my attention, thats why I'd like to try and at least get to know her a lil' better and if nothing else put my mind at rest.

Thanks again.

LegacyUser

So what happened OP, have you contacted her yet?
I think you should just go for it, you have nothing to lose!
Better to regret something you did than something you didn't do...