Possible Work Romance

LegacyUser

I'm a 38 year old single male who's become attracted to a girl who's started in my workplace seven months ago, she's a year older than me.

I get on extremely well with her, she sometimes gives me a lift home from work, and i've discovered that she's very much on my wavelength. I know for certain that she's single, as i was talking to another girl in my workplace at a work night out recently, and i told this other girl how i felt about the girl in question.

At the moment, i'm getting to know the girl i like a bit better, and i'm seriously considering asking her out...although i do have reservations about doing it.

I'm somewhat worried about the reaction of fellow workmates if i do go on a date with her, and if i do i don't know if i'll let any of them know about it, intially...any advice? preferably female advice? thanks.

LegacyUser

do it dude,
i met my wife in work .........been married now for 7 years..........
life's too short for missing opportunities.........
ask her out for a drink, if she says no, then just say, "only as a friend like"........
then she will have to give you the reason she said no.
good luck with that.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

do it dude,
i met my wife in work .........been married now for 7 years..........
life's too short for missing opportunities.........
ask her out for a drink, if she says no, then just say, "only as a friend like"........
then she will have to give you the reason she said no.
good luck with that.

I appreicate your advice, but did you read my post fully? I'm worried about the reaction of fellow workmates if i do start to date her?

I'm looking for a female viewpoint on this.

Unregistered

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm a 38 year old single male who's become attracted to a girl who's started in my workplace seven months ago, she's a year older than me.

I get on extremely well with her, she sometimes gives me a lift home from work, and i've discovered that she's very much on my wavelength. I know for certain that she's single, as i was talking to another girl in my workplace at a work night out recently, and i told this other girl how i felt about the girl in question.

At the moment, i'm getting to know the girl i like a bit better, and i'm seriously considering asking her out...although i do have reservations about doing it.

I'm somewhat worried about the reaction of fellow workmates if i do go on a date with her, and if i do i don't know if i'll let any of them know about it, intially...any advice? preferably female advice? thanks.

Why should they care? It's none of their business as long as your work isnt affected and you're not getting all loveydovey in front of them
Don't announce it, just see how you get on with her and if it turns into a relationship then it'll probs come up in conversation. Once again until then it's none of their business unless you're all very chatty, but leave it be until you know how things go with her
I don't see what the issue is here about the workmates?

Good luck anyway


(and yes I'm female not that I think it matters here )

LegacyUser

I'm female and met my OH in work, we kept it quiet for awhile and then started telling people slowly (though with gossip it went around pretty fast). The only reason that other workmates might react badly is totally dependant on what your role is like if your her manager or something, then people might say that it's not right. Where I used to work there was three couples in the workplace, as long as its kept professional when your there then everyone was fine.

Kirnsy

go for it.

any sound workmate would be happy for you both and bit of light hearted banter would be expected.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

donegalfella wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

I've checked my employee handbook and that isn't the case, so i'm ok there.

Thanks for everybodys feedback, as i say, i'm only really getting to know her now as she's only really started at our workplace, as she's only been there a few months.

I do run in to her everyday, and we're getting on very well, so i'm quite happy.

Thanks for the advice of not letting others know about any possible first date.

LegacyUser

I wouldnt worry too much about it. There are 5 or 6 couples where I work and its never mentioned. I myself am like you, interested in a girl at work. We have gone for a drink but decided not to tell anyone. If anything develops then sure they will find out on a work night out when we are all over each other and if anyone says anything about it then so what....im seeing so and so, no big deal. People dont really care to be honest, it will be gossip for a day or two till the next thing comes along!

The only thing that did hold me back from approaching her earlier was the fact that if anything did go wrong and it got back to everyone in work or having to see her everyday but sure hopefully we are both mature enough to keep whatever happens out of the workplace. Id say go for it, good luck anyway.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I myself am like you, interested in a girl at work. We have gone for a drink but decided not to tell anyone.

Thanks again for the advice, that seems to be the sensible thing to do when i eventually ask her out.

As i say, i'm only really getting to know her now, but we're getting along great, there's lots of banter between us and we both have a similar sense of humour which i find really attractive about her.

Two questions for both lads and ladies...just one more wondering, to people who have met at work...firstly, how long did you know your partner before he/she asked you out...and how long do you think you should take before you ask, the person you like at work, out?

Zaph

Sidney2 wrote: »

I'm also terrified of the reaction of my male work-mates if they eventually find out that i was dating this girl..i'll never live it down and all that.:(

What is there to live down? Is she hideously deformed with a club foot and a hunchback? And even if she is, so what if you're attracted to her, as long as there's no rule against it where you work it's nobody else's business.

vandermeyde

If you like her ask her out, this whole getting to know you lark can be conducted while you date her, they aint mutually exclusive

While you're sitting there procrastinating, maybe she's wondering why the cute guy in work who she likes hasn't asked her out?

Just ask her out.

Harris

The chances are she already knows you like her. Girls talk and if you have told another girl in work how you feel about the girl in question, she might have dropped a few hints already to her.
I say go for it! Don't waste another weekend!

CathyMoran

Just an observation. I met my husband years before we worked in the same building but some people still find it strange - personally I see nothing wrong with work romances but some (jelous) people do.

tolosenc

Unregistered wrote: »

At the moment, i'm getting to know the girl i like a bit better, and i'm seriously considering asking her out...although i do have reservations about doing it.

A faint heart never won a fair lady... As I know to my own cost.

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm somewhat worried about the reaction of fellow workmates if i do go on a date with her, and if i do i don't know if i'll let any of them know about it, intially...any advice? preferably female advice? thanks.

Honestly man, fúck them. Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind.

LegacyUser

I've had some experience of going out with a girl in my place of work.

She had been working in the company for about a year and a half, and I had been there much longer. Neither asked the other out, as it happens we got together after a work related social evening where we ended up being the last two left at the venue after everyone else had drifted home. We had both had an 'interest' in each other without realising that it was mutual.

We kept it quiet and didn't say anything to anyone in the office for about six weeks and then decided to actively let people know, as a way of getting it out in the open, and over with as a topic of gossip quickly. As it happened co-workers seemed genuinely supportive - I suppose why wouldn't they?

Unfortunately it only lasted about six months after which time I was dumped.
Even months later having to see someone you care about everyday but whose life you are no longer a part of is absolute daily torture.

So I would recommend going for it, but do be seriously aware of the pitfalls of a breakup - even when it is on the best of terms it can do your head in to have to continue working with them everyday.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Two questions for both lads and ladies...just one more wondering, to people who have met at work...firstly, how long did you know your partner before he/she asked you out...and how long do you think you should take before you ask, the person you like at work, out?

I married someone i worked with and personally i'd ask sooner rather than later, surely the idea of dating is getting to know the person so what are you waiting for. I just think if you wait around to get to know her better before you ask her out you might miss the boat and she might have found or be interested in someone else.

And personally i wouldnt tell anyone at work for ages. It isnt their business, they dont need to know and for me i kinda liked it being our secret. Really good friends knew (that we worked with ) but not work acquaintances.

maxwell smart

When she's giving him a lift. The embarassment of being shot down infront of work colleagues would be too much, especially if he's worried about how they would react if they were going out.

Anyway, don't wait around for love to come knocking, sometimes you have to get a hammer and do the knocking yourself

esharknz

I'm a woman who was in a similar position to yourself (to cut a long story short the man in question and myself are getting married in 9 months!).
We had messenger in work and I casually asked him out for a drink. No need to make that public, it's not the business of work colleagues until you choose to make it.
If all works out, then anyone genuine will be very happy for you. If anyone isn't, then I wouldn't worry about them.
I know plenty of people who met their spouses at work. Nothing wrong with it.
All the best.

DARKIZE

A lot depends on the size of the organisation where you work. If its a big place with lots of other employees, then you can be fairly anonymous because there's so much other stuff going on, and its easier to avoid each other if things don't work out. If its a mom and pop operation, then be prepared for the nudges and winks and for everyone else to be following progress. Personally speaking, I've done it a couple of times and on both occassions it was just too much aggro when we broke up, so I can't recommend it. But hey.....I'm a cynic.