cutting all contact

LegacyUser

hi all

about a year and a half ago i started seeing this girl for a short time (3 or 4 weeks). it was very intense for that time, seeing eachother everyday and her staying at mine most nights.

she ended it because she thought it was getting too serious and she didnt want to upset me. since then we have been really good friends, texting a lot and hanging out, but i have always been in love with her and on 5 or 6 occasions since we have kissed or more.

she has had a boyfriend in this time and on a few occasions i have tried to forget about her but she will keep texting and flirting.

the last week or so i had been ignoring her texts and calls but she got very upset so a few days ago we met up and i explained to her i needed no contact until i get over her. she said she understood but she didnt want to lose me as a friend and she would miss me a lot.


its only been a few days and i feel worse than before
is this the right thing to do? will stopping all contact help me get over her or not?

Kold

For the time being. Yes. You need to get your head together and it's not going to happen if you're constantly seeing something you want but can't have. It'll make a mess of you especially now that she's seeing someone else. Whether you'll be able to be as good friends later on is another matter, unfortunately that's how things work.

She'll miss the ego boost, and sorry if I'm being crude, it probably seems like something more to both of you, but that's what you've become. She's already decided she doesn't want you. That's her problem, if you let her she'll turn you into a wreck.

Steve.Pseudonym

Sounds like the right thing to do to me.

tbh

I'm afraid the whole "too serious" thing is just a line. If you really liked someone, you'd be with them. She's just not that into you. You're better just cutting contact, in two years time you'll barely be able to remember what she looks like. Life is funny like that.

jessbeth

Yeah stopping all contact would definitely help but maybe explain to her why and then she will know to leave you alone. That's only fair otherwise she will be wondering what she did wrong.
I think breaking all contact is the best way to forget someone. Good luck with that.

partyguinness

You are doing the right thing..the situation is wrecking your head and she appears to want everything..you plus the current boyfriend.

It doesnt say very much for her that she is being unfaithfull...:(

It is very difficult now but hang in there and you will get through it..surround yourself with friends to help you through it. The situation is not healthy for you and you must look after yourself.

Good luck

Duras

tbh wrote: »

I'm afraid the whole "too serious" thing is just a line. If you really liked someone, you'd be with them. She's just not that into you. You're better just cutting contact, in two years time you'll barely be able to remember what she looks like. Life is funny like that.

as he said, you did the right thing.

Liam Byrne

she has had a boyfriend in this time and on a few occasions i have tried to forget about her but she will keep texting and flirting.

Do you fancy being the next version of that boyfriend, with her texting and flirting someone else ?

Because if you don't stick to what you've said above and cut contact, you will be.

Wagon

Unregistered wrote: »

is this the right thing to do? will stopping all contact help me get over her or not?

Yep. Ignore texts/calls, even ignore her in the street if you have to. I could start bitching about her and her attitude but you probably know this already. Stick to your guns. It'll get easier, I promise you that.

funloving

cut all contacts war the right thing to do..you also explained to her why you need to do this..no need for any further meeting or so

Tim06

agree with all the posters, in fact its the ONLY thing to do. although your hurting now, you'll hurt a lot more in the future if you back down and regain contact

JonathanAnon

cutting al contact is the best idea. Take this from one who's been there. If you keep meeting her, like you said, you are not giving yourself the chance of getting over her. She said she understood, you have done nothing wrong. It may be possible to be friends in a few years once you have had some space.

Wibbs

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Do you fancy being the next version of that boyfriend, with her texting and flirting someone else ?

Because if you don't stick to what you've said above and cut contact, you will be.

Bingo. She sounds like the cake and eat it type. Self centered too. She's not fully aware or doesn't care about how she's emotionally stringing you along and also emotionally cheating her partner with you. All she cares about is the ego boost it gives her and the emotional boost of having too men engaging with her.

IMHO that's up there with physically cheating and a lot of people do it. I have to say I've known far more women to do this. If they're not getting their emotional jollies from their partner, they look to another guy(ex or friendzone type) to fill that gap.

funloving

Wibbs wrote: »

Bingo. She sounds like the cake and eat it type. Self centered too. She's not fully aware or doesn't care about how she's emotionally stringing you along and also emotionally cheating her partner with you. All she cares about is the ego boost it gives her and the emotional boost of having too men engaging with her.

IMHO that's up there with physically cheating and a lot of people do it. I have to say I've known far more women to do this. If they're not getting their emotional jollies from their partner, they look to another guy(ex or friendzone type) to fill that gap.

Wibbs always finds the right thing to say...ecce Homo the Latins said..here's a MAN

Liam Byrne

funloving wrote: »

Wibbs always finds the right thing to say...ecce Homo the Latins said..here's a MAN

[OT] Sob.....Wibbs gets all the kudos and thanks after saying "Bingo" to my post....

I'm off to start a PI thread about feeling unappreciated and insignificant......

Kold

Liam Byrne wrote: »

[OT] Sob.....Wibbs gets all the kudos and thanks after saying "Bingo" to my post....

I'm off to start a PI thread about feeling unappreciated and insignificant......

Pffft I don't think anyone even bothered reading my post!

funloving

Liam Byrne wrote: »

[OT] Sob.....Wibbs gets all the kudos and thanks after saying "Bingo" to my post....

I'm off to start a PI thread about feeling unappreciated and insignificant......

darling,your post is great,well written and what you said is 100% right...it goes without saying

Wibbs

OK folks and folkesses calm down, back on topic.