Mother going mental

LegacyUser

right, i'm 24 and my girlfriend is 22. so yesterday myself and my girlfriend were in my house, talking to my mother. my mother offered my gf a cigarette, and my girlfriend, who rolls her own, declined, and proceeded to sort herself out. a few mins later, i (only occasional smoker) absent-mindedly took my OH's smoke and had a couple of drags. my mother went completely spare, freaked out at me shouting and so on, and to be honest it was so embarrassing both for myself and my girlfriend. now she's not talking to me at all aside from generally sniping at me for starting smoking (which by the way i did when i was 17). my mother's hypocrisy aside, has anyone had a similar experience - how can i resolve this without involving the use of a shovel and a medium-sized hole? she's always cracking up and making a show of me when people visit...

Overheal

Ride the Lighting. She'll calm down. Eventually..

Pherekydes

Why are you living with your mother at 24?

Move out!

Lollipops23

Pherekydes wrote: »

Why are you living with your mother at 24?

Move out!

Christ it's hardly a criminal offence!a lot of people on boards seem to have fled the nest while still in their teens!it's not so easy financially and in other ways for some people to move out.

OP, tell your mam that you're a grown man, if you want to have a cigarette that's up to you and if she stops you might.she won't though!

Pherekydes

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Christ it's hardly a criminal offence!a lot of people on boards seem to have fled the nest while still in their teens!it's not so easy financially and in other ways for some people to move out.

Who mentioned it being a criminal offence?

indiana jones

firstly mothers go mental. is she menopause age? once they reach that the memory goes and the hormones and mood swings are all over the shop.

she offered your girlfriend a cigarette, not you. she couldnt care less if your girlfriend smokes or not. to her it dosnt matter if she herself smokes or not as shes been doing it for so long. but you are her son and she would hate to see your smoking those disgusting cancer giving things. i agree with her. i can watch any of my friends smoking but i give my boyfriend such a hard time for some reason.

mothers test your patience at the best of times but you only have the one.

Wagon

Pherekydes wrote: »

Why are you living with your mother at 24?

Move out!

That would be good advice apart from being crap. Lad is probably in college and can't afford it. Or can't find work cos there's none going. Nothing wrong with that now is there?

OP ask your ma what she's playing at. As in walk up to her and demand to know what she was doing making a scene in front of your girlfriend. Ridiculous attitude from her.

CDfm

Its a bit of jealousey lad -you are her "baby" and like it or not sharing ciggerettes is "intamacy" of a kind.

She possibly cant even explain it butr whatever her reason she cares.

Just leave it lie -she is probably embarressed

Macha

Sounds like she's from the "Do as I say, not as I do" school of parenting.She may hate the fact that she smokes. She may also feel that she has somehow contributed to your smoking habit and the guilt manifested as anger.

I'd be inclined to leave it at that, but you mentioned that she reacts like this in relation to other issues..

As usual, the best thing is to bring up the subject later, when everyone is calm and there's no tension. If you do decide to do this, make sure you use language like "I feel..." rather than "You make me feel.." In other words, try not to be accusatory but treat it like a problem that you both need to resolve. That should help her not get too riled or defensive.

Steyr

Pherekydes wrote: »

Why are you living with your mother at 24?

Move out!

Am you know there is a recession on and times are tough.:)

Pherekydes

Steyr wrote: »

Am you know there is a recession on and times are tough.:)

Tough on parents, too!