Yet another alcohol thread..

LegacyUser

Where to start...
I guess when I was 16 and 17 I used to go on the knack a fair bit, at least once a week. Then when I started going out things just got kind of messy because now there was unlimited drink as opposed to a 6pack of cans but in the last maybe...3 years it's gotten pretty bad. Lots of people have told me I drink far too much. I hardly see friends without having a pint or two at least and I've gotten into a nasty little habbit in the last year and a half where i'll be picking up 6 cans the night after heavy drinking when i'll be still drunk when I wake up.
Now I'm blacking out alot too which is the worst. Especially when I end up with a text the next morning telling me about some stupid crap I did when I was hammered, ranging from arguing with people to doing stupid drunk stuff that people think is hilarious. Sometimes I wake up and have no idea at all how I got home. Sometimes even managing to get home from town to my house without seemingly having any money left(It's about a 30 minute walk).
Now, whats making things worse too is that nearly all of my friends are heavy drinkers too. I mean, we all drink alot but I reckon I'd be the only one who drinks the morning after to avoid a hangover - and in the process making the eventual hangover a hundred million times worse.

I don't drink every day or anything - regularly going 1-2 weeks without a drink and could probably go forever without one except my friends will be on the phone giving out to me about not coming out and getting ratarsed with them. Even worse are the rounds we end up in. Doubles and all that - and not just one or two, I mean we'll sink 10 of these on a quiet enough night.

I'm 24 now, so I guess what I wan't to know is do people grow out of this...Or am I going to have to just quit cold turkey. It's weird cause I can't imagine going for a meal without being able to get a glass of wine, and having to ask for cokes when people offer me a drink in their houses. I know it's becoming a serious problem though, and I'm going to have to get a grip now or literally take my sleeping bag out to a luas stop and just get it over with, because it feels like my life is on a very dangerous track at the moment.
I don't think AA is for me..because like I said I don't want to end up teetotal, however I'm half thinking of going to a meeting as maybe a major wake-up call. I've gone out with friends and not drank before and it was terrible. Everyone being silly and talking **** etc


I'm pretty much just rambling now, so I'll stop here. Thanks for reading.

LegacyUser

I think you should go to a meeting. It will give you a chance to see what it's like, instead of assuming stuff.

How much you drink has absolutely nothing to do with alcoholism. It's how it affects you. It seems from your post that it is not the most positive aspect of your life.

Very few want to go teetotal. But if you do have a serious problem (which you might), then it is the only sure way of not falling down the same trap again.

I'm an alcoholic. I drank my fair share. I'm not that old, i'm 20. I've been to AA, and I took the best parts of it and applied them to my life. I rarely go now, because rarely now do I want to drink anymore. I just don't need it. Not to have fun, feel comfortable... nothing. I go out a lot, enjoy good conversation with good people, dance with hot girls etc etc...

See if you can quit for a certain period of time (3 months is a good space of time), and then give yourself guidelines when you go back on it. As soon as you break the guidelines you've given yourself, then you should really make sure you don't have a problem.

That's what I did. 'No spirits'... i said. A week later I was wrapped around a bottle of vodka crying at the end of my bed in the middle of the night.

Sorry if any of this offends or shocks you etc etc... but it's my honest opinion. Hope it helps.

LegacyUser

Its like reading a post i could have posted 6 years ago to the very day. I was 21 and was exactly like you, surrounded by heavy drinkers but i was outdoing them by drinking the next morning with the cure, which inevitably had to be cured and so on.
I got to the stage after so many mishaps and brick walls that i simply had to give it up, i had to become selfish for the first time in my life and think what was best for me, not for my friends, not my families, not the clubscene and certainly not the countries famous drinking culture, i simply had to give it up for me.

Not wanting to be patronising or anything to that effect but deep down you know the score, you have a serious problem with it and its seriously getting to you. Its perfectly normal to fight the knowledge you have about it in your gut by declaring that you dont want to give it up for good and you quite possibly have an arsenal of excuses as backup just to chase the fear of being 'socially different' in this country away. But the truth is mate you would be better off without it, for whatever reason there are some of us who just cant handle it like everyone else but its vitally important that 1) we recognise the problem and even more importantly 2) that we rectify it.

It isnt easy giving it up, it took me 4 attempts, but by the forth time i realised i was fighting a losing battle by trying to fit in with everyone else by 'definitely only having the one or two then home swear!' type of promises, but the truth is for people like us a better life inevitably awaits once you do give it up, and this will probably mean cutting ties with your friends if they dont fully support you. As hard as it is to imagine a life without alcohol or your current lifestyle, you can be sure that you will find better ways to enjoy yourself without alcohol, and you will eventually be able to do a lot of the things that everyone thinks you need alcohol to do, like going clubbing, dancing, chatting up women etc by rebuilding your confidence without needing alcohol.

Personally i didnt attend one AA meeting because i had strong support from my family and my then girlfriend, but if you feel like you need help then its definitely worth a shot, but if you try hard enough to change yourself you really will make it happen.


Good luck!

Karen_*

Unregistered wrote: »

I don't think AA is for me..because like I said I don't want to end up teetotal, however I'm half thinking of going to a meeting as maybe a major wake-up call. I've gone out with friends and not drank before and it was terrible. Everyone being silly and talking **** etc

Well you'll be teetotal if you die of liver failure or fall out in front of a car or get killed on your walks home. Or you could just be teetotal and have a much better life than you have at the moment. The choice is yours really. What do you think a meeting will acheive? That you will cut down. Try cutting down anyway or controlling yourself and if you can't do that then go to a meeting with a view to giving up.

Don't wait to give up when you have ruined your life or done yourself or someone else serious harm.

iguana

Unregistered wrote: »

I don't think AA is for me..because like I said I don't want to end up teetotal,

The AA has a less than 5% success rate, so it isn't for most people. If you recognise that you have a problem and want to change it then you probably can. Although it won't be easy.

First off you need to change your behaviour. Are any of your friends the type you can talk to about this? Do you trust any of them enough to tell them you are seriously worried about your drinking and ask for their help. If not perhaps now is the time to take up a new sport or activity where you may expand your social group in a setting outside of the pub.

Other than that undertake to quit drinking for a month or two. And if that goes ok make a plan to slowly, (and I really mean slowly) re-introduce alcohol into your life. Have a few glasses of wine one night and then wait a week before drinking again.

Lastly be honest with yourself as to whether or not there are underlying issues as to why you drink. Something in your life you aren't happy with, which you are drinking to avoid dealing with. If there is it's time to face it.

Well done for admitting you have a problem. It's a big step to getting yourself sorted out.

another world

It seems like it would be very very difficult for someone with your sort of drinking issues to just have one or two and call it a night. Believe it or not, it would be easier to leave it fully than just half do it. I drink myself but I can imagine that a life without drinking would be grand and perhaps you just need to take up some activity to fill the void of what the drink was filling up. Also, I think you´re right about the AA meetings, just hearing other peoples stories might wake you up even more to the risks you´re running. Worth a go.

Karen_*

I think there's no point in having one drink. Whats the fun in that sure you'd only be torturing yourself? So if you're like me and have to be a glutton about drinking and get into all kinds of scrapes then you've a very big problem and you won't grow out of it, it will get worse and worse. I thought the world would end and there would be nothing to do if you didn't drink. But the only thing thats the end of the world is the end of the world.

If you're going to try to sort this without AA then do read up about alcohol and talk to family and friends. Get a good support network around you and try to get other interests and set goals for yourself. Build a life without alcohol even before you give it up.

Nevyn

Why do you feel that need to drink at someone elses pace ?

If you don't the effects of what you are putting in your body can you learn to monitor those effects and slow your drinking or stop at that stage ?

You are not going to be able to figure out if you have to quit completely until you get and stay sober and then try and see where your limits are.

Anyone who pushes someone to drink imho is not a real friend.
Yes it can be hard to socailise when not drinking but is the reason you are drinking really your friends ?

Going to an AA meeting might be a good idea as a lot of people don't know how much
of a problem drinking is for them in thier lives until they listen to others who have been there and to how they found the will to change things.

radioactiveman

I don't drink every day or anything - regularly going 1-2 weeks without a drink and could probably go forever without one except my friends will be on the phone giving out to me about not coming out and getting ratarsed with them. Even worse are the rounds we end up in. Doubles and all that - and not just one or two, I mean we'll sink 10 of these on a quiet enough night.

I know this sounds harsh but you might have to get away from this group of friends, at least long enough to break the routine. It's going to be very hard/impossible to go out with them and only have a few drinks. (Remember the safe daily limit is 2 pints so if you have 4 say you're already rimming it... and I'm guessing 4 for them is nothing, if this is the same Ireland we're talking about).
You say you don't want to 'end up' a teetotaler but by hanging round with them you accept getting into the habit of buying a 6 pack the next day - how is a teetotaler worse than that? (and where that will take you I mean)

LegacyUser

Thank you all for the replies people. It's really good to hear from people who've gone through exactly what I'm going through aswell.

Even just tonight I got moaned at for not going out on the tear but what can you do...

About AA, what exactly does a meeting entail? Can I go and just quietly listen, or would they want me to say something and participate? I don't think I'd feel comfortable doing anything like that just yet really.

I do have some friends who I'd be able to talk to about this, and a wonderful girlfriend who's told me before that she would help me if I tried to quit drinking(she hates my drinking and I've said and done horrible things to her a few times when I've been hammered - which really makes me sad).

It's really just the *lads*, if ye know what I mean that give me a hard time if I don't go out with them on the lash. I think in a way they know I drink a lot, so maybe having me there makes them feel a bit better about their drinking. Like if we're all drinking together it's grand 'cause it's just "On a mad one with the lads" if you know what I mean..

I think I'll try keep this updated every so often with my progress in trying to stay off the drink for the next while. Maybe if I can do it for a month or two it won't seem as daunting quitting forever as it does now. I have a few dates on my calendar coming up that are basically big sessions, so I'm just going to have to try my best I guess.

Thanks again for the replies everyone.

CDfm

Its a habit and I am teetotal now but wasnt always.

What I suggest is look at it like anything else -waking up still drunk means its a problem so needs to be looked at.

It worries you and you are afraid.On this kind of thing you need to cut down or cut it out for a bit,

Make an appointment with your GP or with a GP in your area who deals with this kind of thing and just look at it like anything else or a health problem.

Its quite brave of you to post- its new year so try teetotal for a while and tell whoever its your New Years resolution.

But dont worry not drinking is not bad at all.

Check out the non drinkers forum and see

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1015

LegacyUser

I've been having similar problems as the OP and found the replies really helpful. I often get a craving for a few beers. But if i start I don't stop. I wish i was able to have four pints and leave it at that. But the drink takes control. I know the best thing to do is quit completely but the thought of not being able to have a few drinks with friends is unimaginable. How to people learn how to control the amount they drink without giving it up?

Nevyn

Unregistered wrote: »

Even just tonight I got moaned at for not going out on the tear but what can you do...

It may take your friends some adjusting but if they are your friends they will make the effort to spend time with you that is not in the pub.

Unregistered wrote: »

About AA, what exactly does a meeting entail? Can I go and just quietly listen, or would they want me to say something and participate? I don't think I'd feel comfortable doing anything like that just yet really.

Yes you can go and just listen the most you should have to say is that it's your first time and that's enough.

Unregistered wrote: »

I do have some friends who I'd be able to talk to about this, and a wonderful girlfriend who's told me before that she would help me if I tried to quit drinking(she hates my drinking and I've said and done horrible things to her a few times when I've been hammered - which really makes me sad).

That can be a double edged sword you don't your relationship with her to become about her helping and supporting you and nothing else.

Unregistered wrote: »

It's really just the *lads*, if ye know what I mean that give me a hard time if I don't go out with them on the lash. I think in a way they know I drink a lot, so maybe having me there makes them feel a bit better about their drinking.

Which is more important to you, control over your life or keeping them feeling better about their drinking ?

Unregistered wrote: »

Like if we're all drinking together it's grand 'cause it's just "On a mad one with the lads" if you know what I mean..

What is acceptable to do in a persons life and their socail group changes over time, if you don't' want to do something then don't.

Unregistered wrote: »

I think I'll try keep this updated every so often with my progress in trying to stay off the drink for the next while. Maybe if I can do it for a month or two it won't seem as daunting quitting forever as it does now. I have a few dates on my calendar coming up that are basically big sessions, so I'm just going to have to try my best I guess.

Thanks again for the replies everyone.

Best of luck.

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/directory/default.asp?itemId=22

Karen_*

When you go to an AA meeting you don't have to talk and if anyone asks you to then just say 'I'm listening today'. Its not the nicest feeling in the world walking into one and you might feel really down about being there but people want to help you. Everyone is in the same boat or has been and the good news is that you can move on from this and have a much better life. You should only be proud of yourself for recognising you've a problem and doing something about it.

Nevyn

Unregistered wrote: »

I've been having similar problems as the OP and found the replies really helpful. I often get a craving for a few beers.

What exactly to you mean by craving ?
Is it physical ? mental ? emotional ?
What can you do to distract from that ?
Are there triggers that make that happen ?

Unregistered wrote: »

But if i start I don't stop.

Why cos you like the physical sensation of being drunk or altered due to alcohol
or that you are in the habit or need to drink to a certain point to get some sort of relief ?

Unregistered wrote: »

I wish i was able to have four pints and leave it at that. But the drink takes control.

I would say that it is you who looses control or gives it up, a liquid or drug doesn't take control you surrender it.

Unregistered wrote: »

I know the best thing to do is quit completely but the thought of not being able to have a few drinks with friends is unimaginable.

Why ?
Personally I would I find it pretty horrid that not drinking is not seen as socially acceptable in this country and if on an evening I don't want to alter my body by putting a drug into it I won't; I certainly don't think any less of
any one who choose not to drink for an evening or in general. I have friends who don't for a myriad of reasons from personal, medical and spiritual.

Unregistered wrote: »

How to people learn how to control the amount they drink without giving it up?

Honestly I couldn't, I think that I had to break free from it ( I knew that I could having already done so while pregnant and breastfeeding ) and then look at the cycles of using alcohol and the effects on me and start of with a clean system and a clean slate and then carefully monitor the effect drinking had and all the variables, from what it was I was imbibing, how much what I had to eat, how much sleep and even what mood I was in.

Keeping a diary I found to be really helpful for figuring out the patterns.
Doing that gave me choice and control.
I still do drink, pretty much think my liver is not on talking terms with me atm
after new years eve but it could easily be two weeks or longer before I have another drink.

I have the choice to drink or not, I have control over what I put in my body and how much. Plus I am pretty stubborn and if mental or emotional stresses make me feel that I really want a drink rather then I would like a drink then I won't have one.

It is very easy to get used to not being sober on a regular bases and drinking out of habit and boredum is very easy to fall into and it's the same with comfort eating, it's a distraction from thing you don't want to face or deal with or think about.

Yes some people are purely physically addicted to alcohol and for the most part really never again an have any in moderation, but for most people it is a mental and emotional addiction and that can be moderated if you work at it.

CONMIKE12

Slowly but surely over time, people with alcohol problems surround themselves with other heavy drinkers.It means tha no one is telling you you are drinking too much, and you aren't telling them. No serious drinker wants a non drinker present when they go on the piss cos deep down they know their behaviour is out of order, they just don't want it pointed out to them. Thats most likely why you have the friends you have, and why the ring you up to go on the piss with.

When i drank, there were only certain people I would phone up to go out with.Only the hardcore who could still possibly be drinking be drinking with me for days on end. Antone one else was no good to me.I knew I had a problem but loved the way drink made me feel.
Most people drink because of the effect alcohol has on their mood. Thats fine, it's just some of us like that feeling too much, and take it to the extrreme.Give a ten year old kid a sip of a pint of guiness and you will see the natural human reaction to it's taste.If it had no effect on your mood, you would not spend months when you first started drinking it, developing a "taste" for it.
You already know the score. But a drinkers biggest fear, is giving up the drink, never being able to feel the way he does after the fourth or fifth pint when they are full of confidence, everypones your mate, and all is right with the world. Unfortunately for a select few, that can carry on to waking up on a cement floor in the police station the next morning charged with various different things of which you have no recollection.
Using the word alcoholic makes people nervous, and usually the ones who shout the loudest about it;s use are people who suspect themselves deep down of having a problem.
There are people who drink solid for days on end in a wild orgy of self destruction usuallu only destruction and mayhem using only ending when they've run out opf money or some other catastrophe has befallen them.
There are those that tip away all day every day but never actually get drunk, but who are never sober either.It's the housewive with her bottle of wine everyday, or the business mean with his 3 or 4 double whiskeys every evening.
Basically, there are many different types of problem drinker.I got to the stage where i had it so controlled that i never missed work or never got into any of the horrendous trouble I did when I was young.
But on my days off i drank like a thirsty fish.I knew I had a problem but I liked drinking too much and i had more or less gotten rid of all the problems associated with it.
That continued till my pancreas decided to dissolve itself from my years of abuse.I nearly died, but I'm 5 years sober now with a few slips along the way.
well, this has ran on way longer than intended, i suppose cos I'm a ****ing expert on the illogical mystery that has been labeled alcoholism.The name is inconsequential, it's effects are not.It's an addiction plain and simple but in Ireland it's a scoially acceptable one.
If you live on an estate, go to your front door and look up and down your street and i garauntee you, if you think about it, there are a fair few alcos living within your line of sight.
I had at least 5 on my road, and each one of them , had at LEAST one kid who had a drink problem too.
My brother is a hard core alcoholic and has lost his house, his wife and his kids, and is barely hanging onto the job he has.
I could go on. To the op.... I have been in many AA meeting s and many rehab centers and I have heard different people, different sexes tell your exact story. I personally KNOW, that you drinking is extremely severe just by what you've written here.
By posting though, you've taken the first step.Not because you posted, but because you said to yourself that maybe you have a problem. I knew I was an alcoholic at age 18, by that time, I'd been in court numerous times and had destroyed myself with the pain I had caused my family.Even so, even after all that, i didn;t stop drinking till I was 35, and only because I was told i would die if i drank again. nd i STILL had about 4 slips in the last 5 years, despite that knowledge.
Don't waste your life in a drunken haze.That feeling that you crave will only bring you the deepest horror.Anoither thing I can promise you with 100% certaintity.Your problem will continue to get worse over time.
I'm not gonna say go to the AA, I know one guy personally who it has saved big time, buit it didn't stop me drinking.I would say go along and sit quietly and listen at a few meetings.You're gonna hear mirror images of your life through the mouths of others at every one.
I wish you the best of luck and i hope you are spared the devastation that alcoholism causes. Take care...pm me if you like.

Phoenix_Rising

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=58486554&postcount=20

Posted this ^^^^ yesterday.

Maybe some if it will make sense to you.

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk.

*hugs*

CONMIKE12

Hi Phoenix. Just read you link.Din't have to get to far throu it to come nback her to post.Yep, you KNOW too, and the only way of knowing , is to have been there done that , don't ever wanna do it again, but the n the drink calls to you and the cycle begines again. And i wouldn't mind, but it makes no ****ing sense at all. If you were told that you were about to die from eating too many doughnuts, you'd stop, no doubt about it.
but because alcohol is a mood altering substance, it's subltlety calls pout to you. Many 's the time i've been there, alcohols soaked shouting **** those doctors, I'f i'm gonna die, i wanna go out in a blaze of alcohol glorly.It makes no sense to the sober mind, and only another true pisshead, can get what you mean.
No disrespect to Thaedydal, I've been rerading you well articualted, and insightful post on here for years, but on this particualr one, you've got it very wrong.I know you're only putting forth your opinions, but unless your a problem drinker, you simpley can't understand, because to look at it logically like you have, is to say that it's a logical phenomenom, amd it so isn't.
A piss head knows, knows in his pooverty heart, that the first drink is the first of many, and yet he has it.Is that the finest logic at work?
I remember getting through have a really good AA meeting , then suddenly realising that on the way homme, i was droppinf into the offy for my usual 15 cans of bud, which I might add, were to be drank alonge in my bedroom with only the tv for company.Is that logical.
I've lost friends through drink and drink related incidents... a good friend dioed in the bath after drinking abottle of whiskey. I won't go on with this anecdotal evedince. People who drink like I do, sim-ply can't handle the humdrum of everyday life, plain and simple. They drink to avoid reality.and I don't mean painful incidents in their life, I just men every day boring **** tha=t we all go through.
Alcoholic recovery has a very small success rate.I was once time in a very ****ing tough rehab centre in Limerick.Out of 15 of us that left, only 2 made it.I even saw my best mate go straight to the bar in the train station on the way home.They know what it does to them, but they are slaves to it anyway. Like pamela amdeson being your bird and treating you like ****e, it makes you feel like ****, but you would keep going back to to her cos ****ing Pam, would make you feel good for a short length of time :-) ,and all the bad wats she made you feel, wouldn't matter.

LegacyUser

OP here again.

Thanks alot for those posts CONMIKE12 and Phoenix_Rising. I've been reading around a few alcohol-problem forums, and I can really see that my mindset is completely like theirs. It's unreal. The majority of people seem to just wish they had stopped drinking so much earlier, because they've spent their youth in an alcohol fueled haze..

One poster was saying that she thought 23 was too young to stop drinking, even for an alcoholic like she was. An older guy told her that he thought the same at 23. Then at 42 when he stopped he thought he was too old to get a life. It's really scary stuff.

One of my good friends and an old *hardcore* drinking buddy has recently told me that he too is off the drink for a while. I think when you see everyone having a big night out getting smashed on New Years, when for you it's just another night of hardcore drinking is a sobering thought..

Also what you said about donuts, mike. I read something a few days ago that was like a lightbulb going off. Alcoholics are like compulsive eaters when it comes to drink. Most people will stop after a few pints because their body will tell them to, just as if I at a bit of chocolate I'd know that if I eat too much I'll feel sick. It's not like this with me and drink. Once I start I can't stop.

Thanks again for the inspirational posts there guys, means alot.

CONMIKE12

Hi op,just checked back today to see the reaction to my post.I'm glad what i said has helped you in anyway at all. I'll use the word alcoholic as we're talking about alcohol, but basically we are addicts to the drug that is alcohol, you could call us drink junkies or a hundread other names.But because drink is so imbedded in irish and also world wide culture, that normal, or even heavy drinkers get very worried when the hear the world alcoholic.
A little tale to tell you how sly of an addiction it is.I went into a treatment centre a good few years ago, just cos thing had gotten very bad.I was about 24 or so.I was put in a room there with a stranger, but through group sessions and aa meetings i got to know him and he was the TOTAL ****ing poster boy for wanting to stay sober.He wanted it so bad you could smell it off him.He was the son of a millionaire business man from waterford, had a job for life and loads of money. inshort, when he got back out all he needed do was stay sober and he had his life back on a plate.He was so positive, such an inspiration to a youngfella like me.He'd been there six months,and it was time for his first weekend out.He was totally positive and talked about all the stuff he would do ect. He came back on monday with 2 black eyes and a broken nose, but what was worse, his spirit and his believe in his power over alcohol was completely shattered and he was a broken man.This fella cried himself to sleep every night his first week back, and never spoke a single word to me.
I tell you this story to underline how VERY powerful drink is at getting you back into it's clutches.I smile when i hear people say just cut back or it's your choice.No offence to them, but they obviously have never come close to or tried to understand any kind of addiction.You know yourself the ravages that drink wreaks on your mental health. Tha horrible feeling waking up now and wondering what did i do, and KNOWING that you did in fact do SOMETING, by virtue of the fact that you were drinking.
I can't drink... and by the sounds of it, neither can you.Forget all the bollox of cutting back or only drinking wine or lager.It NEVER works.An alcoholic CANNOT drink.... EVER. That scares the living **** out of you doesnt it?
Problem drinkers will try every trick in the book to fit drink into their lives. I'll only go out one night a week, I can control it, I'll only drink on special occasions blah blah blah... all total bull****. They know they have a big problem, but they cannot face doing the only thing that will fix it.Giving it up completely and permanantly and most most most importantly, knowing in their own mind that this is a good thing and right for them.
Without that, you may stay of drink for years, but you're still a drunk, because your thinking isn't right.You can't think of it as being deprived of something, but rather as being free of it.
It's hard believe me.it took me two years to get to that place but slowly but surely I realised that life was indeed better without drinking. It's all about dealing with what is real.
Drink alters your perception of reality. Go into a pub when you are sober and listen to the deep intelectual conversations that are going on around you :-) .Listen to the enthusiam and the noise levels it generates about the most mundane of subjects.Watch the violence brew as someone thinks someone else has been staring at them for too long...I could go on. You're actually missing nothing by not being in the pub except a bunch of half drunk, or fully drunk idiots talking through their holes.
You can actualy see the change in people after two or 3 drinks if you stay sober and VERY few people change for the better when they drink.the women start crying over ridiculous **** and the men try to batter each other over the women.
Once again, I've gone on too long.I know this subject inside out unfortunately.My brother, my uncles and all my friends , they are one form or another of an alcoholic.People associate that word with the poor ****er lying in the street, covered in his own piss and sucking a bottle of cheap wine. I met a guy who was carried into a rehab ceter that fit that bill to a tee. He was so bad wit DT's that the hospital bed shook violently against the wall for two days depsite him being dosed up with Librium. In group and in private i got talking to that man. 5 years before that, he had been a practising GP with a wife and kids, a thriving practice , a nice house ect. As far as I know, he is sill in that place voluntarilly , afraid to come out because he knows the life he will go back to. They call it a cunning and baffling disease in AA , I dunno if it's a disease, but to call it cunning and baffling , to me, is the understatement of the century.
Best of luck op. Never give up, and never convince yourself the way you drink is ok.It isn't and you know it.Stop right now.And stya stopped for one day.Then keep doing it one day at a time.you are basically on your own , but there are places and people you can talk to that will give you insight and support.But in the end it is you , and the beast withing you.If he tells you to pick up that first drink and you comply, then you start it all over again. And all it will lead you down, is a road of destruction and despair.