Terrified of looking foolish in public

LegacyUser

Hi all, I have to get some help on this problem before it kills me. Hopefully someone else out there is going through it too. I'll start by describing what happened me this Sunday morning.

As it so happens I'm keen on getting into videography as I have quite the flair for it. My plan was to take my camera gear and my good self around town this morning to get some interesting shots that I'll later put together as a music video for a friend. Even though there was barely a soul on the streets I just physically wasn't able to stop walking around, setup my little tripod and shoot the video. You're probably asking yourself why was this the case. Well, I was just petrified of standing out and being noticed. Like I was doing something wrong or weird or laughable. A situation that would most likely make me blush and feel like the whole world was looking at me.

It sounds so daft I know, but it's crippling me. I'm fine if I'm with friends, no problem at all. But whenever I'm by myself in a social situation I just can't handle it and I don't know why.

This probably sounds ridiculous but I swear to you that it's all too real to me. I don't think I have panic attacks but by the sounds of it, I'm not far off them and that terrifies me.

I'm 25 by the way and this happens to me in all kinds of situations; buying clothes is very difficult, can't go to the cinema/restaurant alone, very nervous buying groceries thinking that the people in the queue are judging me by what I buy, etc.

Please help

xzanti

allinthehead wrote: »

I'm 25 by the way and this happens to me in all kinds of situations; buying clothes is very difficult, can't go to the cinema/restaurant alone, very nervous buying groceries thinking that the people in the queue are judging me by what I buy, etc.

Please help

I sometimes get that when walking around shops alright... No idea why, it's a weird feeling.. You kind of get it into your head that someones watching or following you.. Not security guards or anything like that, it's just a creepy kinda feeling.. I rarely get it these days but I did go through a phase where it happened all the time.. I don't have an explanation for it.. I'd be interested to see what other people think though..

I know what you mean about buying stuff too.. You feel paranoid and end up just not wanting to look at or buy anything.. Must sound crazy to anyone who never experienced it

LegacyUser

hi there, have experienced a similar thing myself a few times, i think there is a proper name for it but i can't think of it right now. i think if it is having a major impact on your life you should try getting some help for it. hypnotherapy might work or maybe go and see a doctor. obviously walking around with a camera and tripod is going to attract a certain amount of attention and its making you feel a little self conscious and uncomfortable. you mentioned that you dont experience these feelings when you are not on your own. i know its not always possible to have other people with you when you are doing these things but for the moment i would suggest that you bring friends with you on these shoots. try talking to a doctor though, there's definately a name for what you are describing.

spurious

I think you'll find lots of people experience some degree of this.

The thing to consider though is - do you look at other people's groceries and judge them on what they have bought?
Do you think someone setting up a tripod seems weird or laughable?
If you're travelling around town, do you spend longer than an instant looking at random strangers and wondering about them?

Most people don't.
Most people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice anything about you. Sad but true.

Yes, we see someone do the 'oh i tripped over a bit of the path but I will pretend to have done it on purpose' skip and yes, it might give us a smile, but ten yards later there is a sign for McDonald's or a good-looking girl/guy, or someone lets off on the bus and our brains are engaged with something else, pretendy on purpose tripper long forgotten.

Fajitas!

I used feel the same about it, still do from time to time, but the best thing you can do from my experience, is head out with someone you know, and just have a laugh doing it. You'll get around to enjoying yourself, and have a bit of craic.

You'll eventually get to the stage where you realise the end product is worth a bit of embarassment along the way.

Heading out with someone with a similar interest will help loads.

Riesen_Meal

Sounds like a bit of a panic attack OP?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panic_attack

cufroige

spurious wrote: »

I think you'll find lots of people experience some degree of this.

The thing to consider though is - do you look at other people's groceries and judge them on what they have bought?
Do you think someone setting up a tripod seems weird or laughable?
If you're travelling around town, do you spend longer than an instant looking at random strangers and wondering about them?

Most people don't.
Most people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice anything about you. Sad but true.

Bingo, that's what I was gonna suggest. I think maybe look into this as a possibility. It's most likely a result of your own thought process.

Try reading "feel the fear & do it anyway" By Susan Jeffers, It'll be Extremely helpful, it basically addresses this entirely

NLP is also very good, especially if you want to follow your chosen field, I think it'll help you greatly.

Get this nipped in the bud now before it turns into a phobia.

Masquerade

I used to feel like that sometimes too. But as Spurious explained, people don't care about what you're doing with your camera and tripod, or what you're buying. To them you're just some stranger who they briefly pass on the street.

Even if they did think badly of you, what does it matter? That's their problem, not yours. They don't know you, you don't know them, and you'll most likely never encounter that person ever again.

If it's really affecting your life, maybe see some kind of therapist about it?

CDfm

Get yourself of to your GP.

There are many mild medications for this kind of stuff and it seems to me if its mild Cognitive Behavior Therapy where you learn skills to cope with such problems might e the ticket.

Propellerhead

I did a lot of railway photography in my twenties and I stopped for years after taking a picture in Maynooth Railway Station, when a woman was leaning out of a carriage and commented loudly to a friend on the platform about "Oh look, we're getting our picture taken on the Choo-Choo".

I wished that the ground would swallow me up. There always is an element in Ireland looking to pass remarks about anything even remotely different from the usual. My sympathies to the OP and I understand where they are coming from.

jdivision

look into cognitive behavorial therapy OP. I have some terrible panic attacks -- which is essentially what you're experiencing even if you mightn't realise that -- so know where you're coming from and am thinking of doing this.

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks for the great response everyone - it certainly makes it easier knowing that other people experience this too.

I've done some reading and CBT does seem to be the way to go about treating it. It seems like I have Social Anxiety but I'll let the experts decide.

I'd hope that I could beat this without medication. Taking pills would be quite difficult as it would be an admission that I have a mental illness, something which I find very hard to accept. I'd also prefer not to be dependant on something but to beat it on my own terms.

antoinolachtnai

first, there is nothing to be embarassed about. But I think you know that.

What about bringing someone with you (the guy you are making the video for maybe) to carry some gear and maybe give you some encouragement some Sunday morning? Then when you're set up, send them off to get the coffee and keep on working. See how that feels. Then go back the following Sunday morning on your own and see how it feels. Keep on working for a few hours as the street gets busier.

The other thing is that it actually seems to be a social nicety in aul' dublin to tease people who are working on or beside the public thoroughfare. It is almost always meant in jest. It's part of street life. All you have to do is smile back or laugh, or if you can think of something funny (but not offensive) to say back, say it.

I saw somebody do this to a Garda one evening on Grafton St lately ('Are you giving that bike a ticket, Garda?'). The Guard starts answering the guy back and using strong language. It's not easy being a Garda and being on display all day, but really, there's no point in it. It's just street life.

castle

Is is like all phobias ,you must face them head on.So you should maybe start of easy with someone with you for some support when taking your first pictures.Nothing is ever as bad as you might think.

deadhead13

People take as much notice of you, as you do of other people. Which, when you think about it isn't very much.