Strange 'Mother' issue

LegacyUser

Hi guys. Longtime viewer of the boards here - 25 y.o. female, recently finished a masters in University and currently on the hunt for a job to kick-start my career, like nearly everyone else it seems.

I'd be interested in getting posters views about something, maybe particularly ones my age. Ok - it sounds really stupid - and despite the cloak of anonymity I'm actually embarrassed(!) to be finally enunciating my thoughts. Basically I have this constant craving for a Mother figure/type of mentor person to take charge of my life I guess. Well - not so much take charge, I'm independently-minded enough, but rather someone I can look up to and confide in as a mother and someone who'll take an interest and tell me if I'm being an ass or whatever. I do have a mother and I love her and I'm grateful for her as every daughter should but she doesn't really fulfill any of those requirements.

These are thoughts I've had for almost as long as I can remember and it strikes me as ridiculous that I should still be so obsessed with the notion at my age because it seems to childish. I know in the grand old scheme of things that this is just a minor issue but it's really been bugging me this past while, given all the free time I've had to think about things. Is there anyone else with thoughts like this? Is there any way of just getting it out of my head?

Bog Butter

Well hello there you poor child. I'm a male and around your age and I have a degree. After working in a job, which I enjoyed and which was suited to my qualification I am now working on the production line.

You got yourself a masters, well done! I had a very wise lecturer in college who gave usefull advise when hunting for a job. Now my child I shall I pretend I'm him and I'll give you some advice.

It is the interview that will win you the job. In that interview you need to sell yourself and convince them that you are perfect for the job. So apply for loads of jobs, even ones you know you will not get because you have not got the experience or the qualifications for that job. This will train you for interviews and you will loose any fear you might have.

But in order to get an interview you need to sell yourself in your c.v. You need to adapt your c.v for each specific job you are applying for. Draw on the skills and knowledge you aquired in Uni and apply them to the skills and experience needed for the job you are applying for.

Now just because you have a masters does not mean you are too good for semi skilled or non skilled work. Get out there and get some sort of job and keep it until you get the one you do want. There is a recession out there now so we all have to weather the storm untill it blows over. Remember no matter what job you get you will learn new skills e.g teamwork. Also this will prove to your future employer that you have a strong work ethic and are prepared to work hard. Furthermore the longer you stay out of work the more unemployable you will become.

So move your arse girl! There is no time for moping about.

Nevyn

It sounds like you mother's life is very different from where yours has gone and you feel that you don't' have a role model or someone to talk to about how things are in your life or to look or advice or guidance off.
That happens.

We can't expect our family to fullfill all our roles and needs in our lives.
What exactly do you want have a think about it and look about for people you can form friendships and connections with. Really you are a grown up and there should not be age restriction when it comes to making friends.

LegacyUser

Hi op,

Just to say i've been having similar thoughts to you about my dad - I'm a man, mid 20's, mature student.

I find that because i study and deal with issues of which my parents have no knowledge and/or wish to know about, or just know the basics; political theory, philosophies & stuff - my parents just look at me quizically when i talk about things i'm interested in

For ages i felt i only spoke to my father about a) football, music, tv or b) family, finances etc.

So i took him to the pub to dig deeper on my interests and career path, he just got more and more uncomfortable, i felt almost as if i went on i would spoil his innocence

on the way home that night i thought to myself; i need a mentor!! (right or wrong thats what i thought, so at least you're not alone)