Men.... what the hell !?!

jenny4385

sorry but i need to have this rant... i recently split from my boyfriend and ever since then most of the guys in my phone or that i ve got chatting to have just been trying to get me into bed... i mean what the hell thats the last thing on mind right now - like im going to move on from 5 year relationship in what a week,........... i mean two of them possibly three have girlfriends so what am i .. just someone to meet up with when they re bored... not any more... i feel so cheap and used.....
anyone feel the same?

MagicMarker

Cheap and used? ..... Melodramatic much?

Don't tar us all with your ill informed brush missus.

Mason Fairbanks

Men are impatient these days, we dont wan't the whole rigmarole of dates etc. Keep Searching, i'm sure you will get what you deserve...:pac::pac::pac:

Nevyn

Cleary the op is upset that she feels she has been put in an awkward postion by friends who have not respected her enough to allow her to grief and get over her last realtionship.

So please keep posts helpful and on topic as
Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

jenny4385

hope so.... jsut dont get it.. where are all the decent ones hiding

MagicMarker

jenny4385 wrote: »

hope so.... jsut dont get it.. where are all the decent ones hiding

If you broke up a week ago then why are you even looking?

Nevyn

Who said she is looking some of her male friend have turned out to be not as decent as she tought that's hard to take on top of breaking up from a 5 year relationship.

unhappycamper

jenny4385 wrote: »

sorry but i need to have this rant... i recently split from my boyfriend and ever since then most of the guys in my phone or that i ve got chatting to have just been trying to get me into bed... i mean what the hell thats the last thing on mind right now - like im going to move on from 5 year relationship in what a week,........... i mean two of them possibly three have girlfriends so what am i .. just someone to meet up with when they re bored... not any more... i feel so cheap and used.....
anyone feel the same?

Geeeeezzzzeee will ya slow down!

If you are looking in the wrong places then look elsewhere. Rub all the guys you have on your phone off, take some time to yourself, slow down, enjoy your own company for a bit and a nice guy will surely pop along no?

I am out of a 3 yearer and have been licking my wounds for 4 months. I am taking things slowly. Are you even over the relationship you poor thing? You sound like you are very upset/angry?

Do you want a friend who is a man or a new relationship with a guy because other than sex they are your only 2 options with regards to men other than being used for sex.

MagicMarker

Thaedydal wrote: »

Who said she is looking some of her male friend have turned out to be not as decent as she tought that's hard to take on top of breaking up from a 5 year relationship.

The OP hasn't mentioned any friends. Only 'guys' in her 'phonebook' and those she 'gets chatting to'.

This leads me to believe (and I realise I could be wrong) that these men might not be friends, maybe acquaintances or random blokes she's met.

SpitfireIV

jenny4385 wrote: »

hope so.... jsut dont get it.. where are all the decent ones hiding

There are plenty of decent ones about! Like MM said, dont tar us all with the one brush. If these guys are behaving toward you in such a manner then ditch them! They are hardly worth having as friends or acquaintences if that is the manner in which they behave at a time when you are going through some upset.

Dutch_Druid

Not to add salt to the OPs wound, but if they're all the guys in her phone/guys she's chatted to before, doesn't the fault lie with her choice of social circles and not men in general

Overheal

And are they all really trying to bang you, or are some actually your friends trying to sympathize with your situation?

St Bill

Keep away from men altogether until you get over your break-up. Five years is a long time. You need time for yourself.

LegacyUser

+1 on what st bill said there. you need time to get over your ex. Not all guys are like that. dont feel pressured into doing anything you dont want to.

LegacyUser

Look,
As a guy, I can sympathise with you seeing that you need time to get over a relationship. Its a horrible feeling.

The time is, there are some girls like yourself who just need space and time to get over stuff, probably like myself.

Then again, 80-90% of girls I know are serial daters... if they breakup with a guy you can be sure they have a guy in the pipeline and wont be single for less than a week. Gives them validation I suppose. My last girl and I finished because she cheated for example, it was her choice but she wanted to start getting with other guys without even breaking it off with me, she needed the validation to know she can. Fair enough if thats what she wants but its shallow. It how a lot of girls act nowadays....

If lads get the wrong impression then it can be a pain but look at it this way, there are probably more lads on these internet boards than girls usually. From a single guys perspective, maybe if we had loads of women vying for our attention it may get tiresome eventually but since we (me certainly) don't have this luxury to post on the internet that "ALL THESE GUYS WANT ME" then realis things could be an aweful lot worse. What if you finished with this guy and NO guys came near you anymore. Just saying think about it for a minute, put the shoe on the other foot.

While I sympathise with the breakup, its hard to sympathise with someone boasting of "all this attention i get from the opposite sex". We aren't all part of the beautiful people.

Cantoris

jenny4385 wrote: »

where are all the decent ones hiding

Same place as always........the place you don't look!!

In fairness, it is not difficult to find a nice bloke (god I'm going to incur the wrath of ladies now!!). Thankfully, three of my mates are single so we have a decent social life. Four honest, decent, easy going lads but there is never more than two of us in a relationship and generally only one. When women complain about not being able to find a decent guy, I wonder do we stand in the wrong spot in the bar!! Maybe a neon sign would work!!

Wibbs

Good men are everywhere. End of. You've come out of one failed relationship so naturally you will be biased for a while. Throw in that lots of guys want no frills sex, including good guys and it's naturally confusing at the minute. Emotionally and practically coming out of a 5 year thing is going to be a time of flux and confusion and if you let it, positive growth. Go at your own pace. Just because they contact you doesn't mean diddly really.

LegacyUser

Op,

Last week you were on here complaining about being lonely, this week you are complaining about attention from fellas? So which is it you actually want? You arent getting attention you are posting on here.... you are getting attention and you are posting on here.. I dont get you.

You say these guys are looking to get you into bed at least 3 you have mentioned... Did these guys actually come out and say they want to have sex with you because I know very few men who will actually come out and ask a girl straight to have sex with them. Maybe these guys were just being friendly?

Seems to me Op you dont know what you want

jenny4385

sorry i think i ve confused evryone.... im not looking for anyone.... i cant move on from 5 years, least not yet anyway just want some me time.. yep i have friends who are girls, its just these 3 guys are making me feel bad.. makes me feel that i come across as cheap and that they ll get quickie out of me just cos im single

Eric Cartman

i doubt its as bad as you make it out to be, how many guys have actually propositioned you for sex?

Webmonkey

jenny4385 wrote: »

sorry i think i ve confused evryone.... im not looking for anyone.... i cant move on from 5 years, least not yet anyway just want some me time.. yep i have friends who are girls, its just these 3 guys are making me feel bad.. makes me feel that i come across as cheap and that they ll get quickie out of me just cos im single

But here you said you have no friends, a week ago.

How have the guys made you feel bad, what have they done?

dolliemix

<snip>

Do not try and guess and out people.

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Beta Ray Bill

jenny4385 wrote: »

hope so.... just dont get it.. where are all the decent ones hiding

I ask the same question of Women sometimes.

It's difficult to find the right person. If you are only broken up only a week a lot of people seem to think that, that week is "the rebound week"

I'm sure you've heard the term "on the rebound" before. I'm sure it will die down after a couple of weeks. Also if these fellas are annoying ya stop texting them back. simple

You should stay single for a while maybe. 5 years is a long time. and breaking up after it is quite traumatic both emotionally and in the way you live your daily life.

Don't fall into the trap of having sex with lots of guys after a relationship as I have seen first hand the damaging after effect this has.

Hope you feel better soon.
G.

jenny4385

thanks grahambo... i think i gave a lot of people the wrong impression of me with this thread.... yea break up hurts soo much and a break from men is whats on the cards for me, and just gonna enjoy making new friends and hopefully having a laugh

SarahSassy

There are good men everywhere and I think a lot of women (OP excluded) brand men 'b@stards' when they dont do what the woman wants e.g. ask them for a second date, fall in love. Very few men (or women) are evil...

I would have no qualms about telling these girls, if they are your friends, that their BF's hit on you.... Thats why these a$$holes get away with stuff but thats another days post

jenny4385

thanks sarah... as for telling teh girlfriends... i m sure i wont be the first ... they both seem happy and i dont want to ruin that for them ..

sukikettle

Stop sleeping around, get a bit of self-respect and we won't have sites like this. No good will ever come of the practice

Nevyn

sukikettle Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

sukikettle

so if I were to talk about all the blokes I sleep with and the moves and positions I do to accomplish this I can stay? no thanks mod...there's nothing nice about this site

Nevyn

sukikettle 1 week ban for commenting on mod action in thread.

Farls

They might be doing you a favour, some say 'The best way to get over one is to get under another' and I have to say it has worked wonders for me in the past!!

tismenotyou

oh god !!
please dont jump into anything !! or under !!..
take your time , learn what your all about again ..
we can forget who we are after a long term relationship "i" becomes "we" and thats the hardest part to get passed !
go out with your friends enjoy being single for a while treat yourself and try forget all about men give yourself the time you deserve to grow befor jumping back into the dating game ..

jenny4385

just for the record i havent done anything with any of them - wouldnt dream of it.. all i did was kiss one of them but didnt know he had a gf at the time
taking some me time to find out who i am again is def something i am going to do..

LegacyUser

There was a girl I was mad about but she had a boyfriend and once she broke up with him I made my interest known. I didnt think I was being sleazy, it wasnt as if I just wanted to jump into bed with her but I thought if I left it then I could have missed my opportunity and would wake up one day a month down the line and she could have now been dating Johnny or something. Dont think there is much harm.