He doesn't satisfy me

LegacyUser

i'm in my mid 20's and i'm going out with my bf for about 6 months. he's the most amazing person ive ever met, and we get on extremly well. everything is great bar the sex.

now i dont believe that sex should make or break a relationship, but there just doesnt seem to be that spark, he always says "that was great" but im left feeling unsatisified. i havent orgasimed with him yet. the foreplay is good but the actual sex isnt. i really dont know what to do, i feel that this man is the one, but i do not want to insult him or make him self conscious. at the start of out relationship he found it hard to keep it "up" this hasnt happen recently so presume it was just nerves.
my ex bf was very good in bed, but not in other areas, my bf is fantastic in everyway possible but not in the bedroom, is it possible to have both?

ive tried the whole "oh thats nice" but it doesnt seem to work, has anyone any ideas as to how i could approach this?

unhappycamper

''Thats was nice'' to any bloke is an easy let off for him! I would sit down with him and explain that you could do with having more orgasms, and don't be shy about it just say it in a nice way, he will understand no doubt. Best of luck OP

PCPhoto

its most likely that he might have gotten into a pattern sexually - maybe try liven things up - make them more exciting , it could be the excitement that will give you the big "O"

Jimmy Bottlehead

Be mischievous and naughty when telling him you wanna try for an orgasm... if you come across as serious, it's a mood killer, even pre-coitus! But if you go the sexy minx route, it'll seem like something exciting to him

Kinetic^

Sex sounds like it's important to you. You need to help your boyfriend become sex beast you want him to be. He's not going to know what's wrong or right without your assistance.

It's easier to make somebody good in bed then it is to teach them how to treat a member of the opposite sex. If he's perfect in every other way, he'll be complete when you show him the way.

the_syco

When you say this lad ain't as good in the sack as the last one, do you mean positions, or length of time? One of two things. Either try new positions, or watch porn together, and try some of them.

Call Me Jimmy

Is it that he isn't necessarily trying hard enough or is he just not really "equipped" for the job?

Peyton Manning

Has he had any lovers before? Because if youre one of his first, then he might suck for a while but he'll get better. If he's been around, then you may have to look into the possibility of an affair.

Im jus' sayin is all.

vinnyryan

Agree completely with Kinetic.

My advice; see it as a challenge and show him the way. If the 'that's nice approach' isn't working, maybe best to suggest to say nothing and subtly deliver the hint.

LegacyUser

No one person can be good or bad at sex on their own, at its most fundamental it's a connection of two people.

Instead of getting HIM to satisfy you, you need to work together; if you are giving him white lies pleasantries and comments he wont believe it, not deep down; communication should be frank

If he had erection problems it may be a sign that he has problems opening up/letting go withother people, so to have gotten on to where you are you have done well

check into a hotel for a weekend, dont leave the room!

instead of trying to increase the speed setting on the jackhammer work on communication & responsiveness

Andy-Pandy

Get one of those little clit stimulant vibrating things. Use it yourself or give it to him to use when your having sex. If that doesnt work you have real problems.

nomorebadtown

could it be that you're relying on him too much to do the satisfying? as someone said above, it takes two to bring the chickens home to roost (or something?) and if you're lying there like a sack of spuds and not pulling your weight then its not really his fault. doing the ould "oooh thats nice" is clearly not enough in this you need to show him directly what is good, hands on, and leave him in no doubt as to what gets your rocks off.

Wibbs

Have to agree with others as far as it takes two to tango. Now in the past you may have gotten used to one kind of sex where the guy did all the work. That happens quite often with women IMHO. I can understand why in some ways. Many women feel dodgy about expressing their sexual needs so if the guy takes control it takes that problem away. Plus a woman may have had a problme with a guy getting shirty if she was too forward in his opinion. That happens a lot too. That's fine as far as it goes, but it's far better if you share the pleasure making for both of you. Sex and good sex is not really rocket science. It can be learned and improved upon. By anyone. Male or female.

spurious

Talk to him. Try new things, tell him what you like.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

im not the kinda woment to just lie there and let the man do all the work. ive tried doing new positions with him but usually he'l loose his erection. he doesnt go down on me much.
ive orgasimed about 4 times through penertration so i do find it hard, but i have yet to orgasim with my bf.

LadyE

You really need to talk to him, us people on the internet are not going to be able to give you a magic solution to your problem.

Sex is about two people, you should talk about it lots with each other, really open up and and be completly honest (but not too blunt!) with him in what you want, what you like etc, what he wants and what he likes. If he isnt getting the hint from your reactions after you have during sex...then tell him! Same for him, ask him what he wants, whats his favourite etc.

If he looses his erection in changing positions, its not a big deal, ask him if there everything is ok, talk talk talk!!!, then work on getting it back!!

partyguinness

Communication, communication communication...

You have to take control and talk to hiim and tell him what you like and dislike.

He is not a mind reader and it is not his job to satisfy you..it is a 50/50 effort and if you want to get more enjoyment out of sex then only you can do something about it.

claiva

cunnilingus my friend.
simple as that.
never met a girl who couldn't climax that way.
there is obviously a technique to be mastered, but practice makes perfect.
also, does he not bring you off with his hands after he has climaxed ?
if not, guide his hand there and masturbate yourself with his hand.
he'll soon learn how to do it.
good luck.

LegacyUser

Oh my God, are you me? I'm in exactly the same position (excuse the pun!).

My boyfriend, who is, just like yours, great everywhere else, is just not good in bed. We don't see each other very often, usually just at weekends, which makes things a lot worse. When we do have sex, there's very little foreplay, we just have sex, he finishes and that's it! It never lasts very long, and most of the time he doesn't come either. I try to move his hands around after, but he just takes it away.

He's never gone down on me, and I've never had an orgasm with him. At the start, I went down on him a lot, but I've stopped doing it now. The thing is, he talks about what he'd like to do sometimes (like he talks about going down on me), and I tell him he should do it, but he never does, and says things like "oh, next time maybe..." (While I'm saying to myself..."maybe?!!!").

He can't think that everything is ok, or be happy with our sex life, and I'm definitely not. We don't even have sex that often. It's very very difficult to think of how to start talking about it, how to broach the subject, and what I'd say. It's not like he hasn't had other partners, he's in his late twenties.

I know talking to him is the answer, and people on an internet msg board can't tell me what to do or say, but any advice would be greatly appreciated! We've only been together 6 months, but our sex life is that of a old, bored, can't-be-bothered couple!

claiva

God !!!!!!!!
I can't believe what I'm reading here !!!!!!
Guys, come on step up.....satisfy your woman !!!!!
It is not rocket science !!!!!

Girls, I feel so sorry for you with this, but there has got to be a way to get your bloke to step up.......get him into the shower and lather him up and then lather yourself up and rub against him, every bloke secretly desires this kind of action even if they are too shy to initiate it. Whilst in this clinch, tell him exactly what floats your boat, he will not forget it.
Believe me, he will not think you are a slut if you do this.

Good luck !!!

LegacyUser

my bf never lasts long maybe 3 mins at most, and it isnt excatly earth moving sex.

we dont get to see eachother alot either, so the other day i had my house to myself and he was calling over, i dressed up in some sexy lingere and put on some heels. so he comes in, he's pretty pleased to see me we go straight to my room, a bit of foreplay and the usual 3 min actual sex.

i hear my friends talk about how good their sex lives are i feel so jealous, its really getting to me.

before i met my bf i had a few one night stands and all of them were amazing but i missed the intimacy. now i have a wonderful bf, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me but i just wonder will this cause big problems down the road.

i dont think its as easy as to say to him that he doesnt satisfy me, i really do not want to hurt his feelings or have him feeling insecure, i really just do not know what to do.