Won't leave me alone..

LegacyUser

Hi there,

Basically problem is there is this guy who just won't leave me alone. We hang out with the same group of friends as me so is always there on nights out etc. Found out a little while ago he likes me. Since then things have gotten crazy. He just won't leave me alone. He grabs onto me and puts his head on my shoulder, won't let me go off and dance with my friends even though I've told him I want to. He has told me he loves me so many times even though I've just ignored him and not responded. I have told him I only like him as a friend to his face but it doesn't stop him. The other night me and my friend were walking through the bar and he pulled me onto his lap and literally wouldn't let go...my friend was full on pulling me away (felt like I was the rope in tug of war!) but he still doesn't get the point. He texts and asks if I'm heading out and if I say I am when he arrives he calls me about a million times to find out where I am. One night i was in the club and clearly wasn't looking at my phone but when I did I had 8 missed calls and a few texts in the space of half an hour?! Two weeks ago he managed to get me on my own and he kissed me and I just pulled away and walked off. When I got home I texted him and said that i simply like him as a friend nothing more. He texted back that was fine he was happy to be friends and I thought that was that. But the other night he started texting me again, fairly normal stuff and I thought he was just trying to get back to being friends...then when saying goodbye he wrote in "love you". I can't believe it, I don't know what to do to get him to just leave me alone??!

Mr. Incognito

same group of friends get one of your mutual male friends to tell him to cool it

Webmonkey

Just tell him he better back off or you won't like him as a even a friend anymore. I'd say you have to make it more clear to him. He probably has everything you have done to avoid and hint him justified in his mind for the wrong reasons. Probably just need to make it clear to him as he obviously has a problem getting the message or is ignoring it as much as possible. Its not too far off abuse what he doing by the sounds of it, pulling you onto his lap when clearly you don't want to. Better stop it now!

pfishfood

Mabey get one of your male friends to have a word with him. Or talk to him with a good friend and drop the words freaked out, scared, assaulted. Hell soon get the picture don't do this on your own for obvious reasons and not in a large group so as not to embarrass the lad. A female friend of mine did this a while back to this fella, hes like a smacked puppy dog when shes around him now. Its just a suggestion

Chucky the tree

I'd stop texting/answering his calls for a start.

Craft25

why do you even call this ass a friend??

instead of... i see you just as a friend...
try... stay away from me you little perv, next time you grope me i'll have you charged...

if he came back with a real sincere apology you could give him another very last chance... how is he gonna learn the right way to charm a girl?? i think you'd do him a favour givin him a shock to the system

LegacyUser

OP here..

Thanks for the replies.

Yea I'll definitely ask one of my mates to talk to him. Most of the lads think its hilarious though because they know I'm not into him and can see my reactions yet he keeps going. They don't realise it actually bothers me and really effects my night! One of them has offered though so i'll take him up on it. I really would rather do it myself but he just doesn't listen to me. I'll try be more clear with him in the meantime because like webmonkey said he clearly has a problem getting the message.. although what i say goes in one ear out the other with him. I tell him no and it's like he hears yes.. Its really creepy.

lolli

Op,

This is harrassment!! You have told this guy that you are not interested in him romantically but yet he rings you 8 times in half an hour!!! hes not being a friend hes being a stalker!

You need to cut all contact with this guy, no answering texts or calls, change your number if you have to.

A few years ago a fella wasnt getting the message from me, he ended up trying to get me to be with him by saying he was going to kill himself etc, I got my older brother to have a word, he never contacted me again. If this continues ask a male relative to have a word. If he continues to harrass you and grope you I would take it further to be honest, no one has a right to touch or kiss you when you have made it clear that you do NOT want it.

LegacyUser

Craft25 wrote: »

why do you even call this ass a friend??

instead of... i see you just as a friend...
try... stay away from me you little perv, next time you grope me i'll have you charged...

Yea..my girl friends have said I'm being too nice. Tbh I thought that once he didn't get anything out of it he'd give up (as most guys do?!) but this is beyond a joke.. I felt like saying the friends thing would make it easier for him but as it's not working I'll be more direct.

I never answer his calls anyway..and i won't text him back in future.

ask a male relative to have a word.

Didn't think to mention it when I was writing the original post..but this guy is also best friends with my cousin.. but I can't ask him about it, it'd be too weird..

There is actually no way i can cut all contact with him. Everyone goes out in the same place at the weekend, and he's also in the same college as me. Even if I changed my number he could get it off someone else no problem!

Mary42

Had a similiar situation years ago when I was in college where a guy wasn't taking the hint.

You could change your number, give the new number to people your friends on the unsterstanding that this guy is not to get it in any circumstances.

Also I think you need to be more direct with him - don't tell him you like him as a friend.

LegacyUser

Time you kissed someone in front of him,that way he will understand better,not nice but sometimes you have to be tough to be nice.

Miss Fluff

Every time you reply to a call or text or engage him in any way it is encouraging him. Find out if your mobile provider can block his number from your phone and tell any mutual friends to tell him to back the hell off and have nothing more to do with him. Why do you want to be "friends" when he is clearly nuts? I'm sure you're not that hard up.

mollybird

if your male friends think it's funny then they aren't the ones who are going to protect you. you need to tell him you'll ring the guards if he doesn't stop. keep a record of all the stuff he is doing to you. then that should keep the freak quite.