Unhealthy crush

LegacyUser

My partner and I have been together for 4 years. We have a fantastic relationship, are like best friends and everything is great.

That's why the next part of what I am going to say will sound so odd. Over the last month I have started to have feelings for a guy I know. The feelings have been getting stronger to the point where I think about him a lot.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? Where you are in a happy, healthy relationship and you develop a little crush? I hoped that it was a silly little phase that would just go away but I now find myself wanting to go places and hoping this guy will be there.

What can I do? Do the feelings just go away?

I would understand more if there was something lacking from the relationship but there isn't. We still have lots of chemistry, amazing sex and I still find him really attractive.

Please don't slate me for saying all of this. I do feel so guilty which is why I am posting this and asking for suggestions of how to get this out of my head.

It is not as easy as saying "dont have any contact with the other guy" as he is in our circle of friends.

Kevster

Hi,

I don't see why anybody would 'slate' you for saying this. If they did, then they clearly would not understand how the human brain works - i.e. we are naturally 'programmed' to find members of the opposite sex attractive. That said, this 'crush' that you have sounds innocent enough but the mere fact that you are worrying about it means that you are giving it more thought than is necessary. Basically, it's perfectly okay to feel attracted to another person, and you shouldn't worry too much about it.

Do you think couples who have been married for 10+ years have never thought about being with other people... ...?

Kevin

Senna

The question is, would you act on the crush or do you want something to happen?
If the answer is no, then its quite normal and nothing to get panicked about.

Craft25

treat it as what it is.. a fantasy!!.. its in your head, keep it there.. it is totally natural and id say you should even indulge in it... one day you'll look at him and you'll say to yourself.. what was i thinkin... but for now.. enjoy it..inyour head! and dont feel guilty!!

metrovelvet

You're human. Are you sure it's just a little crush? You said you have feelings for him.

You need to avoid this guy.

LegacyUser

Don't feel bad, you are perfectly NORMAL!

Women in relationships STILL find other men attractive. Your physiology does not completely change when you get into a relationship. Some men cannot understand this. A GOOD woman recognises it and then does everything she can so it doesn't become more.