Where is this going?

LegacyUser

ok just wondering what people's opinions are on this. been seeing this girl for a month now. well not really seeing her, we have been out on 4 dates, basically every weekend, for the last month, the usuals, dinner, cinema, drinks and a kiss. we text each other maybe once or twice a day during the week. both of us split from long term relationships earlier in the year and both stated we where enjoying being single when we met at first. thing is i like the girl. im in no hurry to get into another serious relationship but i would like to see more of her. i could be wrong but i think she is meeting other guys at the moment as well, which she is perfectly entitled to do. since we are going out now again on another date, i have to take it she is interested. but im hoping she is not just enjoying going on dates now that she is single rather than actually being interested in me.

i don't wanna keep going on dates until eventually it runs its course and dies out, but i don't wanna freak her out by saying i wanna make this exclusive because i dont get the feeling thats what she wants. so what would people advise. just keep going on dates for a another while, freak her out and ask her where its going, play it cool and take step back etc...? i don't wanna be chasing her every week for another date, but i am interested. advice?

LegacyUser

IMO it's perfectly normal for you to want this relationship to be exclusive, so I suggest you ask her straight out if she's seeing anyone else. Just look calm and cool whilst asking, you don't want to appear needy or jealous.

MagicMarker

Why not text more than once a day?

Why not ask her out for a drink some night mid week?

If you don't take the initiative then nothing can progress.

LolaLuv

Why not just ask her where she sees it going? Believe me, just waiting and hoping almost guarantees hurt feelings. Plus what MM said, good stuff.

star-pants

One of the things about relationships a lot of people forget about is communication - you're not telling her you love her or want to marry her, you're just expressing that you like her and would like to be exclusive. Which is completely allowed, you've dated and gotten on well etc, you're better off to know now.

pfishfood

MagicMarker wrote: »

Why not text more than once a day?

Why not ask her out for a drink some night mid week?

If you don't take the initiative then nothing can progress.

I think this is probably the best advice in hindsight, what have you got to lose by taking this advice?

Miss Fluff

suggestions wrote: »

both of us split from long term relationships earlier in the year and both stated we where enjoying being single when we met at first.

After that particular discussion she is probably thinking the same thing as you. Both of you expressly said you like being single so perhaps she is approaching this with caution if she thinks you're not looking for anything. As above, break the rountine of the once-a-week date business and ask her out during the week, be impulsive and if you want to see more of her, see more of her.

MIN2511

Next time you are out, ask her.... Don't ask her to be exclusive but at least you need to know if you are wasting your time with her...

And a few more texts wouldn't hurt just as long as its not OTT

MysticalSoul

I was in a similar situation that this earlier this year, and the guy in question never asked to see more of me, and he ASSUMED I would not have the time, and basically, he ended up sending a "goodbye" e-mail to me, which I rang him about and had it out. When I asked him what prevented him from asking to see more of me if that was what he wanted, he had no answer, so I would say tell her you would like to see more of her, but do not do it my text - ring her and tell her, or tell her when you next meet her.

LegacyUser

Im in the same situation at the moment were I'm dating a guy( by the sounds of it the guy could be you)...4 dates...really like him..get on great...one or two texts a day cause im a **** texter...etc! But he is not making the move to anything more. I just want him to man up a bit and take the bull by the horns because its clear he wants to take it to something more, but I think he is kinda scared of my reaction that he might blow it...I'm not going to bring it up because I do still believe somethings should be left up to the guy! So in my opinion you should def say something to this girl. As I see it only two sitations could come out of it...1. she says cool...she likes ya back and lets do something about it..and 2. im happy how its going for the moment lets go on a few more dates and see from there !