Selfish mother

LegacyUser

Ok sorry if this comes out a bit jumbled but ill try make it readable and its very long, sorry.

Im just over 4 months pregnant and was still living at home till a few days ago ive been with my BF for a few years now, We are happy about the baby but i was waiting to move out and into a house with my BF as i thought it would upset my mother( i lived with her and my younger sister whos 16)

My mother has been depressed for the last month or so and drinking an awful lot at least a bottle of wine a night, in this time she doesnt care about anyone but herself staying up till 4-5am keeping my sister and myself awake and not getting up till 1 during the day (she doesnt work due to an accident a few months ago (totally unrelated to the depression)

My sister is missing huge amounts of school faking sickness and my mother doesnt care- shes doing her j.c and has learning difficulties so she has a big chance of failing now shes missing so much time

My mother has stopped eating and i had to do all the cleaning and washing etc ( i dont mind doing my fair share but doing things like carrying loads of clothes etc exhausts me and i already have a bad back

This is not the worst of it however, she goes 'food shopping' and brings back maybe a loaf of bread and a few yogurts and milk and her stock of wine and beer for the week, this has made me miserable i have to go to my Bf's or my other sisters house to eat as i have very limited money right now so cant afford to shop for myself and i know my sister often goes without dinner when im not there

I couldnt take it anymore so the other evening i told her to give me money and myself and my sister would get some food shopping, she had already drunk a bottle of wine so was a bit angry saying there was loads of food but gave me money anyway

I went to Tesco and bought 50 worth of groceries , and a few other bits we'd needed dishwasher tabs etc.
I made sure to buy all tesco value stuff to keep her happy as she doesnt like to spend too much.

When we got home we unpacked the stuff and i left the receipt and change on the table and went upstairs because she made a nasty comment and i didnt want to aggravate the situation.

I came down about 15mins later to find her going through the receipt, she got really mad at me for spending 3.39 on toothpaste i tried to explain i had been overcharged and it was advertised at 1.11 then she said in a horrible tone 'oh and i see you spent 3.49 on grapes for yourself' i then said no i only got them because they were supposed to be half price (1/2 price fruit and veg offer)

she then started to make comments abouth me wasting money and i had had enough and said 'well if your not happy you should have shopped yourself'
to which she replied 'i did, maybe if you werent a pig we wouldnt need so much food'
i said 'how can i be a pig when there is no food to eat all you do is buy wine'
She then made a load of nasty comments about me and how much i cost her etc ( shes on SW and shes actually getting money for me so thats ridiculous)

I said she was a bad mother and that i wasnt my little sisters mother and that it wasnt my responsibility to cook her meals and clean up after her and wash her clothes. I just couldnt take it anymore and knew i had to leave to calm down before i said anything really nasty, So i said i was going to my BF's house for the night so i wouldn be eating her food

This was at 11.30 pm my BF lives at home and works night so i just went up to his room and tried to sleep even though i was very upset at about 12 she sent me nasty messages saying she wished he was dead and that i wasnt to come home i didnt reply so she sent that message several times, then she sent me another message saying he was a 'nothing provider, and i was stupid and pregnant and he still lived at home and i was to grow up and make im face the music' she sent me that twice and i didnt reply

I just dont think i could forgive her for saying such horrible things drunk or not ive had to cope with her turning just like my abusive alcoholic father and i cant take it

Ive been home twice - christmas eve to collect clothes and she was in the kitchen so i just pretended she wasn there and again on christmas day to grab my phone charger and to collect presents from under ther tree she stood in the hall and just stared at me till i left
( suprise suprise she had gotten me and my Bf nothing after we'd spent 100 on her)
I just cant believe she could be so spiteful
She hasnt apologised and i havent spoken to her since

I know shes depressed but i honestly have not had it easy either but i dont act like that. Im living at my BFs house till we get our own place but i just worry about my sister i dont want her her to have to deal with this on her own, We had a bad enough time when my dad was still there and now its all happening again

CO19

You really should avoid your mam and stay at your bf's as you currently are becuase she is taking her problems out on you and trying to make you feel bad for the way she is,she probably feels better when she has a dig at you over everything to try to make it seem that you are the problem,you don't need this at all right now and need to try to put her out of your mind as much as you can (I know it's easier said than done) but you gotta try and reduce non necessary contact with her .

Regards your sister you gotta check on her as often as you can,you don't necessarily have to call to the house to do this,text or call her and try to get her to come out and meet you instead of seeing her in the house because in fairness your mam is seriously messing with her head too and I just know I wouldn't want my big bro (I know you're a big sister ) to leave me completely alone with someone like your mam.

Anyway you really got to put yourself first while you're preganant and don't let your mam make it any harder for you !

I don't normally post in personal issues and I've probably not given any good advice or what you wanted to hear (sorry )but I felt I had to post a reply cause I can relate to what you're saying .

Take care