Lonely

jenny4385

hey,
its me again... god i must sound so pathetic... im just so bored. me n the boyf split up few days ago and i just feel lost. have no friends and going slgithly crazy at home.

K-Bowie

It does kinda depend where you live but like you should go visit a family member especially with it being X-Mas it can't hurt !
As for your ex, he was obviously a fool for letting go of you in the first place, plenty of fish in the sea.

Firetrap

The only person who can help you is you. Resolve to get out more in the new year and make an effort to meet people. Sitting in your house posting on Boards isn't going to solve any of your problems. I just did a quick look back at your other posts and this isn't the first time you've posted that you're lonely. Unfortunately, nobody's going to come knocking on your door and give you a wonderful social life.

PaulieBoy

Agreed ! Your going to have to make yourself busy, that means getting out and doing stuff, whatever, but getting out there and doing stuff. Do a course, join a gym, go jogging, whatever.
You should have a life that is not dependent on having a partner or not, something that is always there.
A real easy start would be go for a walk, perhaps drop into your local library or whatever, never know where life will take you if your out and about. If your stuck in doing nothing, then life has no option but to take you nowhere.

Good luck :-)

K-Bowie

PaulieBoy wrote: »

Agreed ! Your going to have to make yourself busy, that means getting out and doing stuff, whatever, but getting out there and doing stuff. Do a course, join a gym, go jogging, whatever.
You should have a life that is not dependent on having a partner or not, something that is always there.
A real easy start would be go for a walk, perhaps drop into your local library or whatever, never know where life will take you if your out and about. If your stuck in doing nothing, then life has no option but to take you nowhere.

Good luck :-)

Agreed but it does depend on your age, if your like only 20 your hardly going to do these sorta things?

jenny4385

i ve tried getting out and doing things i go for walks nearly everyday i jsut work long hours and have probs hanging onto friends

Firetrap

Do you work at weekends? Until what hour do you work in the evenings? If your working hours are causing problems, you'll have to put in that bit more effort to stay in contact with your friends.

I see you mentioned that you have trouble holding onto friends. Why is that? Perhaps you might be able to see some sort of pattern emerging and take steps not to have it happen again.

I'm sorry that you're feeling lonely It's a horrible feeling - most of us have been there at some stage or another. Do you have any family members who you could go visit? Cousins? Even aunts and uncles? That would be a start for this Christmas.

von Neumann

Hi, OP,

It's ok to feel lonely, The post brake-up loneliness is really hard,
so I think your entitled to a bit of "wooww is me" but not too much.

Try and keep yourselve occupied, maybe

A bit of window shopping.

If you cook try cooking something that's mega complicated and takes 2.5hr to prepare and 0.1h to eat, and that's after spending the day, searching the shops for all the exsotic ingredents .

Post some random threads on boards as it will give people like me something to read .

jenny4385

thanks for all the posts.... just roll on back to work and something to do

LegacyUser

Op I have read back your previus threads all of which are about you being lonely so this has been going on a long time now.

In fairness what do you expect us to say to you? You have been offered great advice here over the months but you obviously havent taken anyones advice because you are still coming on here months later stating that you are lonely, no-one can help you but yourself and you obviously arent doing that.

Are you one of these of these people who dumps all their friends once they get a boyfriend? You seem full of self pity yet you dont seem bothered enough to do anything about it. Do yourself a favour, get off the internet, go join some clubs sports, arts & crafts anything in an attempt to try gain some new friends. You honestly arent going to gain anything by writing numerous threads on here about how lonely you are if you arent willing to get up and change it yourself.

Firetrap

Good luck. Don't use work as a crutch to paper over the cracks of your loneliness!

Webmonkey

Hey OP, I'm a bit like you. Won't go out much and feel lonely as a result. To be honest the house would make anyone depressed especially if you havn't anything to do. I know if I were at home even if it was just for a half a day and doing nothing I'd get really depressed. I think everyone is similar, only some people can't cope with it as much.

Find something to occupy your mind, even go out for a walk. It can make a huge difference. Best of luck.

jenny4385

i have tried.

K-Bowie

How old are you if you don't mind me asking.

jenny4385

23 - i know i ve posted on this before and i really have tried... i ve no one else to talk to

K-Bowie

Your young, free and single this should be the best time of your life, I'm also going to guess your from Dublin considering your able to go to boards beers. Theres so much stuff you can do, Town you can do loads things go for a drink, relax(Shopping etc). You can also join a sports team theres several hockey clubs for example who take on people who havn't played before.
You must know someone who you could go out with take a chance on someone ring them up or ask them out.
I'm a similar age to yourself I might be a lad but thats what I've done to get out of the house.

LegacyUser

I think theres more to this than you are telling us. I spend a lot of time on my own yet I never feel lonely.

How do you feel about your relationship being over?

jenny4385

k yea i do get depressed for no reason...
as for relationship i dont know how i feel... yea i ve cried but there s only so long you can mope

Webmonkey

Have you got any friend at all you can talk to. Where did they all dissapear to? (apologies if you mentioned it in other threads). It helps to talk to someone even if its a stranger, just to let out what you feeling. If you have nothing to look forward to, no future events or anyone to look forward to meeting then it can be tough and you can get depressed. You probably need to find something/someone to get that emptyness out of you and fill it with something. If you ever need to talk to someone even on this just send a PM or something. Being here on boards can be depressing however, better to get out and about.

baldbear

When i feel lonely a good ride usually cheers me up. Good luck! and have a happy new year

LegacyUser

I have suffered from depression a lot through my life. I went to counselling and that really helped. Perhaps you should try that.

at the start of the year I came out of a 4 year relationship and I honestly thought that my world was over. I cried I thought i had nothing left in life. But during the summer I met someone else and I am mad about him, so keep the chin up and try your best to thing positively. Maybe join some social networking sites to try meet new people.

jenny4385

thanks unreg

dublinpd

It depends. A few years ago I had my heart broken by a relationship that I could say it would end up im marriage.

Instead, we broke up, since then I haven't got any relationship and living 'normally' but I'm still alone and believe me, shier.

In fact, it could happen something in your past (recent one) that made you react like this. You might know it, consciously or not.

starchild

op

i am sorry your so lonely , its a difficult place to be. some of the other posters have suggested many ways of meeting new people, i would agree wholeheartedly with their suggestions.

it may be difficult but by getting out & involved you will def make new firm friends. My advice to you would be that even when you next find yourself in a relationship keep your friendships going too

i have been in your situation and know its difficult but each day makes it that little bit easier. for what its worth i started doing some volunteer work to get myself out and from it i have made some wonderful friends

i wish you the very best, keep chin up

jenny4385

sad thing is i do try n keep my friends i dont know what it is..maybe its me

pfishfood

There must be other factors as to why that is. Me personally last year all my friends left town in the space of a few months for collage/work. Ive got new friends now mainly because of collage and part time work. but i suspect that its just bad timeing and a bit of bad luck on your part, coupled with the holiday season.

starchild

jenny4385 wrote: »

sad thing is i do try n keep my friends i dont know what it is..maybe its me

or maybe its them or maybe more likely its neither but just the way things panned out at the time.

relationships and/or friendships can often paper over a big crack in our own life namely that we dont love ourselves enough. do you have low self esteem by any chance

you seem very genuine & sincere which in many ways is a great basis to build any friendship from

re meeting new people is there anything you are interested in (or something you have always wanted to try), if there is anything that comes to mind perhaps someone here can point you in right direction

jenny4385

yep i do i have little self confidence and the only way i feel i can have a good night out is by having few drinks to make myself talk more..
i would love to join a sports club or anything but dont even know where to start n just kep thinking i ll be the only person new stating n everyone will know everyone else and i ll be left sitting there by myself.... same as the job im in now.... i ve tried talking to people but they all seem to best friends with each other and dont seem to like new people starting...
new year and all that i dont really want to be in this same boat this time next year......

Firetrap

Ok..you've said you don't want to be in the same boat this time next year. Keep that in mind.

How about joining a hillwalking club? There are lots of them around the country and there are people of all ages in them. I think most of them tend to do their thing on Sundays. There's the added advantage of your already being able to walk..no special skills needed

By the way, with clubs 'n things, I've found that you need to go a few times before people start talking to you. It's natural - people don't necessarily run up to you and try to be your best friend. I'm shy but I find that when I have to strike up conversations with people, I do it and I'm delighted with myself. Perhaps too, you should try to make a better effort to talk to your workmates. Unless they're really horrible people, most folk don't mind having new faces to talk to in the office. Perhaps it doesn't come naturally to you but give it a go. How about bringing in leftover biscuits* from the Christmas and having them for the tea break?

*They don't have to be leftovers...pretend they are.

jenny4385

biscuits /choc might be a really good idea...

RedXIV

nothing attracts people like free stuff. I had Nintendo gear to give out for Xmas and it made me very popular while i had it

starchild

it is hard being the new person but you have already taken the biggest step in acknowledging that you want to change things in your life

pls pls dont give up, perhaps if a club is to daunting at this time you could instead choose a night time course or weekend course .

that way everybody is new & each time you go it will get easier and easier

many friendships are formed like this as you all will have a common interest

jenny4385

hope so jsut dont know where to start looking for one?

dublinpd

jenny4385 wrote: »

hope so jsut dont know where to start looking for one?

That's the hardest question and sometimes 'that one' just come across to you...

By the way, I find the getout.ie a good idea for starting and I think I'm going.

Firetrap

I don't know where you live but where I am out on the sticks, the local VEC advertises evening courses in the local papers in January. Why not ring the VEC where you live and ask about courses? If you're in Dublin, you'll have a better choice of classes. Also, the institutes of technology run night classes. It doesn't have to be rocket science. I did an art class a few years ago and I found it to be both relaxing and one of the better ones for interacting.

The one thing I'd say to you is that YOU have to make the effort. If you sit there and don't try to get chatting, you run the risk of having nobody talk to you. You will have to be proactive.