How can I help myself?

LegacyUser

Hi there. I've spent 2 hours procrastinating over whether I need to post this thread...
My problem is I'm feeling so unhappy all the time. I've had so many set backs with life and sh1t happens I know - but sometimes I dread the thought of another day where things might go wrong.
I'm a woman in my early 20's. I have no-one to talk to that I trust or feel I can confide in apart from my mam, but she gets depressed and needs a lot of help from me so I don't want to bring her down. I'm getting to the stage where I'm running out of ideas. I've pulled myself through bad patches previously, but over the past year that has become near impossible. I had a panic attack today, what with it being Christmas and the stress that brings. I think, what I need is to talk to a professional for some guidance. I'm afraid to do that. I'm terrified of the can of worms that might open and what if I cant cope...

Wibbs

Stressful time of the year for many so the panic attack is kinda understandable. As you said yourself seek out some professional help. Wouldn't worry too much about opening up a can of worms either. That's their job and where their expertise lies. They're can of worms experts. Nothing wrong with looking for help. As you say you've gotten through bad patches on your own before and kudos, but an expert will give you tools to make that easier to do.

I think of it like DIY around the house. I'm fairly handy and can sort out most things. Electricity is where I'm in trouble. I'm likely to blow seven shades of *ahem* out of myself rewiring a plug, so I call in an expert. Same deal here. You've coped and overcome stuff before, but you need a bit of a dig out from an expert now.

Think of 2009 as the year where you seek a new path for you and a better more content life.

LegacyUser

Thank you for your reply Wibbs. I've accepted that how I've been coping with life for the past few years is no longer working for various reasons, so I have to do something different. How do people go about seeking some help - I suppose my doctors advice is the first port of call. I do know some people who see councillors or psychotherapists but I dont know much about what they do really.

Think of 2009 as the year where you seek a new path for you and a better more content life.

I'm going to try my best for that.
I hope you are enjoying a nice holiday season.

Snowie

thats it go see your docter explain to him tyou want to seek help, froma counciller if hes any way good hel provide you witha few councillers you can call, and go see, then you take it from there.. Ive been going once a week for the past 4 months now and its great. really have felt the benfits and have more benfits to gain which i cant do yet due to circumstance's.... but yep try to avoid letting your docter being your counciller, my other huge tip would be prepared to talk abotu things that you may feel uncomfortable about talking to..

but good luck and a vey happy christmass.

LegacyUser

Try a counsellor if you just need someone to talk to, psychotherapists tend to analyse the how and why via your childhood problems. Course if you feel it goes deeper, then well and good but a counsellor might be your better option. Your GP should be able to give you a couple of names.
Good luck.There's no shame in asking for help, and you're not opening a can of worms, you're just trying to make yourself feel better.

Victor

Unregistered wrote: »

psychotherapists tend to analyse the how and why via your childhood problems.

I'm not sue if thats quite true. Sure an awful lots of stuff that we learn in childhood does stay with us.

While any professional can help, ultimately, they are there to facilitate us coming up with our own solutions.

Kidchameleon

OP wrote:

"I'm terrified of the can of worms that might open and what if I cant cope..."

If there's anythin in your past causing you to be unhappy, there's no escaping it. Youve gotta deal with it, do it now, let 2009 be a new era for you. Believe in yourself, youve gotten through trobles in the past so you can do it again!!!

Good Luck.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your reply Snow-Monkey. My doc is good and I'm pretty confident in her understanding. However I have never spoken about my problems out loud so I know going to the doctor will be uncomfortable. But starting this thread has helped break the ice.

Unregistered wrote: »

Try a counsellor if you just need someone to talk to, psychotherapists tend to analyse the how and why via your childhood problems. Course if you feel it goes deeper, then well and good but a counsellor might be your better option. Your GP should be able to give you a couple of names.
Good luck.There's no shame in asking for help, and you're not opening a can of worms, you're just trying to make yourself feel better.

Thanks. A lot of it is childhood problems that were never resolved. I'll ask the doc's advice about the best option.
I know there is no shame and that is the advice I would give myself. I'm so sensitive about it though that I am worried about turning into a sobbing mess in the doctors surgery... Probably I shouldn't think about any of that and just deal with making an appointment after Christmas, one step at a time.

Victor wrote: »

I'm not sue if thats quite true. Sure an awful lots of stuff that we learn in childhood does stay with us.

While any professional can help, ultimately, they are there to facilitate us coming up with our own solutions.

I dont believe anyone has the answers to my problems but myself, but I do need some facilitation!

Kidchameleon wrote: »

OP wrote:

"I'm terrified of the can of worms that might open and what if I cant cope..."

If there's anythin in your past causing you to be unhappy, there's no escaping it. Youve gotta deal with it, do it now, let 2009 be a new era for you. Believe in yourself, youve gotten through trobles in the past so you can do it again!!!

Good Luck.

You are right there. I have to deal and facing your fears is a difficult thing but right now I dont think I could feel much worse for doing so. I hope.


Thanks to all for talking the time to reply:)

sprinklesspanky

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi there. I've spent 2 hours procrastinating over whether I need to post this thread...
My problem is I'm feeling so unhappy all the time. I've had so many set backs with life and sh1t happens I know - but sometimes I dread the thought of another day where things might go wrong.
I'm a woman in my early 20's. I have no-one to talk to that I trust or feel I can confide in apart from my mam, but she gets depressed and needs a lot of help from me so I don't want to bring her down. I'm getting to the stage where I'm running out of ideas. I've pulled myself through bad patches previously, but over the past year that has become near impossible. I had a panic attack today, what with it being Christmas and the stress that brings. I think, what I need is to talk to a professional for some guidance. I'm afraid to do that. I'm terrified of the can of worms that might open and what if I cant cope...

Hi, sorry you're having trouble, what helps me is knowing it can be much worse.

Read these two threads and then think about your life.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055446713
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055448049

The best part is, you can always start over, you deserve to be exactly where you are because you put yourself there... and you can get yourself out.

The best part is, by coming on here you're seeking help. You have decided you want to change things. Now, go out and get yourself a counsellor. Best of luck in the new year.

unreggd

sprinklesspanky wrote: »

Hi, sorry you're having trouble, what helps me is knowing it can be much worse

That's terrible advice!

The fact that people die of hunger in Africa every day doesnt mean the lives of the homeless of Dublin are any easier


OP, im similar to you atm

Im really unhappy with my life, and the people in it

Im 20 now, nearly 21

I would defo recommend talkin to a counsillor, your GP can refer you

I went to one when I was in 6th year, it was free cos he was in his last year of doin a psychology degree

really helped me out tho, just talking to someone, and ranting with some professional feedback is such a HUGE weight off your shoulders

I was also like u in the sense I was always helping others, i didnt ask for help myself

If ye need to chat, PM me any time

good luck

Snowie

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks for your reply Snow-Monkey. My doc is good and I'm pretty confident in her understanding. However I have never spoken about my problems out loud so I know going to the doctor will be uncomfortable. But starting this thread has helped break the ice.

Its a lot more eassyer then you think you want the help ..... that takes the fear away... I found butr good luck

LegacyUser

sprinklesspanky wrote: »

Hi, sorry you're having trouble, what helps me is knowing it can be much worse.

Read these two threads and then think about your life.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055446713
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055448049

The best part is, you can always start over, you deserve to be exactly where you are because you put yourself there... and you can get yourself out.

The best part is, by coming on here you're seeking help. You have decided you want to change things. Now, go out and get yourself a counsellor. Best of luck in the new year.

I'm not sure what you think reading those threads and thinking about my life will do for me? I dont know if I can start over, I know I can try to move in a positive direction. If a counsellor tells me 'I deserve to be exactly where I am because I put myself there' I will walk out the door and not return tbh.
Yes I've come on here as a stepping stone to getting help. Thanks for the good wishes

unreggd wrote: »

That's terrible advice!

The fact that people die of hunger in Africa every day doesnt mean the lives of the homeless of Dublin are any easier


OP, im similar to you atm

Im really unhappy with my life, and the people in it

Im 20 now, nearly 21

I would defo recommend talkin to a counsillor, your GP can refer you

I went to one when I was in 6th year, it was free cos he was in his last year of doin a psychology degree

really helped me out tho, just talking to someone, and ranting with some professional feedback is such a HUGE weight off your shoulders

I was also like u in the sense I was always helping others, i didnt ask for help myself

If ye need to chat, PM me any time

good luck

I've spent lots of time thinking - at least I'm not.... I know what sprinklesspanky intends but I want to believe 'it can be better' rather than 'it could be worse'.
I've read your thread unreggd and I can identify with what you are going through. I am inspired by your braveness to change and seek help and you are younger than me!! So thank you.

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

Its a lot more eassyer then you think you want the help ..... that takes the fear away... I found butr good luck

Fear has been a major factor in why I never sought help before now. I feel I've lost so much in being cautious in life to avoid drama, it's about time this fear fs-off before I become totally lost.