How long is too long?

LegacyUser

Hi peeps, Would like your opins on this...

Myself and my GF have a nearly 9month old baby. We haven't had sex in those nine months or the 9 of the pregnancy, thats 18 months. So basically I was wondering if this is normal? Does it sometimes take woman this long to get back into the swing of things? I've tried to talk to her about it but she becomes defensive and says that she's not in the mood, we get on fine and yes I do my fairshare if not more of the work around the house. Thats fair enough I guess but for how long can this last?

Antone experiance this? How does it break?

Kevster

Hi,

After a pregnancy, a woman's endocrine system (the system that regulates hormones) is 'haywire'. In some women, it can take quite some time for it to get back to normal, while in others it may never get back to normal without professional help. In the latter case, post-natal depression can result.

However, while saying this, it could also be that she is stressed due to looking after the baby. Let's face it: A baby needs a lot of attention and work; and I know first hand how stress can reduce a person's libido.

Kevin

meditraitor

Its a mine field man, nobody here is going to be able to help with your query! Every woman is dfifferent and if I told you my misses was horny as a mother fuker a month later and the next person tells you it was four months that would only be personal experience.

Woman are all over the place the best of times but more so after having a little one............

Be patient and talk about your feelings,

2c

MIN2511

Have you discussed this with your GF?

I think you should, as she probalbly hasn't noticed...

deisemum

From speaking with friends who've had children most of us admitted to waiting 6 - 10 months. Apart from being tired, the subconscious fear of the slightest chance of getting pregnant as well as the self protecting fear of anything ever going anyway near us down below brought back graphic memories of labour and the last time there was any attention down there it hurt.

Also after your body changes and you're feeling frumpy and not sexy can have an impact.

The first time getting re-acquainted was a bit scary but after that it was grand.

Those who had c-sections resumed a sex life much quicker.

metrovelvet

If it were just after the pregnancy you could point it to sleep deprivation, body ajustments, hormones, etc, and I could suggest you doing all the night duties for a week and see how that makes her feel but if it was also for the 9 months of the pregnancy..... gees...doesnt look good. did you talk to her about it?

~nop~

It's too long if you're unhappy about it.
Talk to her!

Pherekydes

deisemum wrote: »

Those who had c-sections resumed a sex life much quicker.

Our last was a c-section and we resumed after 2 months. I honestly can't remember what happened after the previous ones.

After my second son was conceived my wife and I never had sex again. :eek:

LegacyUser

Every woman is different, as the previous posts have pointed out. 9 months is certainly not unheard of. You say she gets defensive if you bring it up, so she's conscious of it too.... try to take the focus completely off sex for now. Try to think of ways to help her - not just with housework and practical stuff like that, that's a given. Help her with whatever she needs help with - so if that's talking, be there to listen; if she has fears and worries, let her confide in you. Find ways to make her feel like a princess without making her feel like it's leading up to sex.

Having a new baby can sort of make a woman feel like she's lost some of her identity - what things apart from the obvious did you two get a kick out of before the baby? Remind her that you still see her as the same person she was before. And try not to take it personally - chances are she's stressed, maybe a bit scared, maybe self conscious... she might not be showing it because she feels like she has to be all capable and on top of everything. When you're trying to prove yourself as a mother, it can be easy to forget about who you were before.

shaca

Totally agree with the previous post.

Very important to try and get her to tell you how she is feeling. And you need to be ready to say the right things to reasure her about everything.

Zulu

MIN2511 wrote: »

Have you discussed this with your GF?
I think you should, as she probalbly hasn't noticed...

Perhaps read the post again...

Unreg'd wrote: »

I've tried to talk to her about it but she becomes defensive and says that she's not in the mood