Chrimbo blues

LegacyUser

Meh, im spending christmas alone here, and I'm getting depressed

I've got this colleague, we've been working together for a year or so. We turned into good mates, basically we're always chatting, day and night. We're both very outdoorsy, fairly similar outlook on life etc. She's always been a good friend by the way, no complaints there. For example, I've been seeing a good few women during the last year, she's always given me sound advice and been there for me later on when things didnt work out.

Ever since I became single, she's been a little bit flirty, but I didnt pay much attention to it to be honest. By flirty,I mean that e.g. when I asked for some pics from her holidays, she sends me on some studio pics of her draped in a snake, stuff like that. She has a boyfriend by the way, working in the same company as us ( I have never met him, it's a big company) .

Anyhow, we sent her off to a customer in the middle-east during December. She was pretty nervous about it, but I figured that she'd be able to handle it - she's very intelligent and she's one of those people that always land on their feet. I also told her that she could ring me night and day, should anything come up.

So she's there in the hotel the night before she's due to go to the customer site. She rings me, she's so nervous she's close to breakingpoint, I tell her that I can fly over there, no bother.

Then she tells me that she probably wouldnt be able to stay just friends with me if I go there, she's telling me that she thinks about me all the time etc. I get a text later on, saying that she wish that I could be there in bed with her, that if I came there we could spend christmas in betlehem together.

I told her that "there's no way you and me can be more than friends for the time being", that I have no desire to interfere in hers and her boyfriends relationship, and that Im not entirely sure it'd be a great idea for me to fly over there. She has since been telling me all about her problems with her boyfriend.... but there's nothing bad about him really, she just doesnt seem to fancy him much to be honest. I'm trying to be as unbiased as possible, I've told her that she needs to tell him the same things as she told me , in regards to what is pissing her off with him

Problem is that I do really like her, maybe I'm even in love with her - I miss talking to her the days I dont hear from her, and I do find her very attractive. She does figure in some of my fantasies, and I've told her as much as well, BUT there's also no fceking way I'd knowingly start seeing a girl who already has a boyfriend. I just refuse to do it. Also in the past whenever I've ended up in bed with a female friend of mine, they've always wanted something more, so we've ended up being not-so-friendly anymore.

She's now at the airport, she rings me and asks me if I want her to spend christmas at her place instead of her parents, I tell her no - I'm not really interested, as that would be going to cause lots of problems with her and her boyfriend.

So now I end up here on christmas eve having a glass of wine on my own, instead of spending it together with a woman that I really like. grrrr

Not sure if this is a PI, I just feel very very confused. She's been very important to me as a friend, I just don't know what to do now.

Dizzyblonde

I'm sorry you're having to spend Christmas alone, but I also think you're right not to get involved with someone who already has a boyfriend. Maybe you'll be great together in the future but she'd need to break up with her boyfriend first.

Dave!

Fair play for fighting the urge I think you've made the right decision! If things change and she breaks up with the fella then go for it, but until then just keep it in your head (and pants)

LegacyUser

You're doing the right thing, and hats off to you, plenty wouldn't. It's a shame the timings so crap for this to be coming to a head, but you're 100% right not to start anything with her while she's involved. If you did, you might always wonder down the road could she cheat on you if she was able to cheat on her current boyfriend. Keep the chin up and stick to your guns - and Happy Christmas

MIN2511

Wow! Talk about will power, i applaud you.

Please stay away from her until she sorts her relationship with her bf. I know it's trying and testing... I am home alone tonight, gonna drink myself to slumber....

Oh, and please don't tell her you love her when you are drunk

MIN2511

Danimalito wrote: »

I just rang her now to wish her a happy christmas, we talked for an hour about /nothing/. She does weird things to my head - after I hung up I wanted to ring her again just to hear her voice. Hard to explain why,I don't even understand it myself.

Oh fcuk that, I'm going out to my local for my free christmas pint now

Merry Christmas all!

Did you forget to post annonymously


Try not to ring her again

LegacyUser

Good man. I admire your will power. I've been in similar situations and jumped headlong into them because I wasn't strong enough to say 'no - sort your own situation first and then come to me'.

You're right. If she doesn't want to be with her boyfriend then let her break up with him and then talk to her about starting something. Much better that way.

Sorry you're alone at Christmas - can't be easy but at least take comfort in the fact that you're a stronger man than most and I'm sure things will work out in your favour because of that.

Kidchameleon

Hey,

Merry Christmas to you, read your post while your probably gettin blotto in the local, anyhow you done the right thing, I wish you the best of luck.:)

pseudonym1

Tell her to finish with her boyfriend and give it a go. More of a chance of it turning into something real.
Hope you have a good xmas - being alone sucks I know -but there will be others