Sick of being single

LegacyUser

I am in my very early 20’s and I am getting sick of being single. Sometimes I feel that I will always be along. I know I am still young and have a life to live but its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think about it 24/7.

The people I surround myself with are all male and not the best with dealing with the opposite sex. But this wasn’t always the case when I was younger it was a completely different story. About 35% of my friends were female but all that started to change when I went off to college. With my course being filled geeky lads, playing a sport with only one sex and even though I lived with three girls I didn’t get to know many girls but in saying that I didn’t get along that well with them girls I lived with.

I wouldn’t say I’m good looking or ugly just normal but I’m not tall about 1” below average for an Irish male, I would be tall for a girl. In the past year I’ve started going to the gym to add muscle and rather then doing fitness work and now I have a semi toned body but still a bit skinny.

I’m pretty pathetic take for example when I was in school I wanted to show a girl that I wasn’t dumb so I studied for my exams and ended up doing quite well. I was out there the other night and there was a girl who I have a thing for was out but only for one night as she is taking a year out of college. A few of my friends commented on how drunk I was but I wasn’t I was just hyper all just because that girl was out. I don’t want to drink or even head out when I know nothing will come of the night. I know I really should have my priorities in order.

Because of the lack of female contact I am starting (well more have become) to get very frustrated/down with myself as I do nothing to help the matter. Like many times have friends tried to set me up but I am very independent I hate asking for help or showing weakness and I think the latter is my biggest down fall. Like I never approach a women and that’s why I hate night clubs (but I do like to go mental on the dance floor ) like I know the only way I will ever getting talking to a girl is by being introduced by a friend.

Another one of my down falls is I am too picky for my own good like many times I could of gotten with some girl who has a bit too much to drink but I have too much respect for women and it would leave me feeling not cheap but unchanged as I want the girl to get with me and not because she is too drunk to know what she is at.

I think way too much like what should I say or if I did end up going out with this person what would the future look like.

Like that girl I was talking to the other night she was everything I looked for in a girl and its driving me mad knowing that if I ever want a shot with her again I will have to wait till next year when she is back in college.

I just wanted to get that off my chest as it has been bugging me for quite some time now.

Sorry for the long, miss-jointed and bad grammar but my writing skills are not the best.

JC 2K3

You sound scarily similar to me a month ago, and for 3 years before that. I thought my situation was hopeless, and yet I have a great girlfriend now.

I'd not underestimate the fact that life can change very fast. You might feel like your life has stagnated, like you're stuck in an unfulfilling routine you can't break out of, but you never really know what's around the corner. In my case, in the space of a week, I met a girl and there was a definite feeling of attraction between us and we ended up going out.

The only other thing I can say is: go for it more. I haven't resolved this particular problem of mine yet, and won't have to until things end with my current gf, but I always had a fear of approaching girls, and when getting in a position to possibly make a move, panicking and not going for it, usually fooling myself by making up lame excuses to myself in my head such as she wasn't attractive enough, or we wouldn't have had a future together etc.

Dudess

Why do you want a girlfriend so much?

JC 2K3

Dudess wrote: »

Why do you want a girlfriend so much?

It's a fairly natural desire, I would have thought.

Dudess

Well some people love being single.

LegacyUser

mae yourself available.... jesus... its not rocket science... if you seem uptight, you'll get some delight... loosen up, be yourself and everything will happen...

JC 2K3

Dudess wrote: »

Well some people love being single.

The title of this thread would indicate that the OP does not.

I don't see what your point is....

gaeilgegrinds

Had a very similar thread on here a couple of days back under the galway city part. Got some support and some slagging. To be honest I have no miracle answer other than I'm still holding out for a hero. I find the more involved in everything I get the more friends I make and hopefully someday I'll meet Mr. Right. It's a terrible time of year for it though. Chin up and I'm thinking of you. PM me if you like.

Dudess

Why is it a terrible time of year? There's nothing wrong with being single - don't cave into societal norms.

JC 2K3 wrote: »

The title of this thread would indicate that the OP does not.

I don't see what your point is....

I mean the OP is very young - what's the rush/panic? Sometimes people look for an "other half" for the wrong reasons - self validation, feeling left out because friends have other halves etc. Like, do you want to fall in love or do you want to be going out with someone? There's a difference. I sometimes get the impression that those who don't want to be single will make do with whoever will go out with them. Enjoy your youth and have fun. Seriously, don't worry and relax. I know that seems a crap thing to say but believe me, it's good advice.

leahyl

Hi OP i empathise with you. I feel a bit the way you're feeling sometimes. I'm a female in my early twenties and i've never had a boyfriend - it's mainly down to circumstances i guess in that i went to an all girls school and then in college i only had female friends and so didn't really interact with the opposite sex alot and i'm not into the whole pub/club scene so that doesn't really help i suppose ( although i knw that pubs and clubs aren't the only place to meet someone but it's where a lot of people do meet someone). To be honest it's getting me down more lately - i don't even know how to go about meeting someone if you know what i mean - I get worried like you that i'm going to be alone and never meet anyone - it's kind of embarrassing too that i don't really have any experience relationship wise at my age - I'm quite insecure and shy when it comes to relationships and stuff. So just wanted to tell you that i know how you're feeling