Sister Pregnant, Livid.

LegacyUser

My little sister of 22 dumped her boyfriend of 2 years for another fella who we've discovered has got her pregnant after 2 weeks of going out. They are now going out 2 or 3 months and she is gone 8 weeks. When she told me today I hit the roof. I want to string him up, and told her I will break his legs. She says they are keeping the baby and will be happy. Its like something out of hollyoaks. My old man has resigned himself to the fact theres nothing he can do, in reality I think he's scared of losing his little girl if he tries to tell her otherwise. I need advice please on the best way to approach this. Ive heard so many stories from friends about guys leaving girls recently during pregnancy, or as I well know might leave in a year or two years given they havent been together for long. Is it wrong of me to ask her to weigh up her options, I was going to suggest maybe talking to some people who have seen it through but also some people who havent. I dont want to be told here btw that its none of my business, I know my sister well and she's very naive. Apparently the fella is urging her to have the baby. Its a mess.

LegacyUser

i understand that you are dissapointed and upset. It is however her choice and this may indeed lead to her being a single mother however maybe she will be very happy. Stick by her and support her and let her know that no matter what she decides you will be there for her. If you try to influence her, you may be the person she blames if she makes a decision based on your opinions of what may or may not happen.

LegacyUser

My god ... 22 and pregnant ... how could anyone possibly cope?? This must be the first time EVER someone that young has been in that situation ... and yes, I agree, it's all yer man's fault, and by all means the best way to approach this is to break his legs. That will most certainly fix everything. Go for it.

Kidchameleon

Hi,

I would suggest that you dont interfere. Let her make a go of it, be supportive like a big sis/bro should. The baby's not gonna go away, its best for your sis, her fellah and baby if they make a go of it and with you being supportive they will have a better chance of being successful. BTW, congrats, your gonna be an Aunt/Uncle!

Good Luck!!

Unregistered.

sicktomyteeth wrote: »

its none of my business

You're right, this is your sistere problem - not yours!

And from your post....

they are keeping the baby and will be happy

then perhaps, if they will be happy, it is not even problem? They have clearly dealt with the situation and come to terms with it before they decided to tell anybody.


And aslo, I would like to add.....

...fella who we've discovered has got her pregnant... want to string him up, and told her I will break his legs....

LESS OF THE MAN-BASHING! It takes two to tango. (and she's 22 for christ's sake!)

Sure, for most, it's not an ideal situation(not "a mess" like you put it), but they are both responsible for their actions. And it is up to the both of them about making it work. Shes's your little sister, why not help?


U.

Sleepy

OK, first off, forget about breaking the guys legs. Secondly forget the notion that your little sister is some naieve little thing who must've been led up the garden path by the new fella. She's not a little girl, she's 22. Without knowing anything else about her, the odds are she's been sexually active for 5 years or so.

Get to know the guy. As it stands right now he's going to be the father of your niece/nephew.

Unless you all live under a stone, your sister knows her options and if she's not looking athe them, her friends will talk it through with her. Right now, the best thing you can do is be supportive and follow your Dad's lead and accept the situation. There is nothing you can do. TBH, there's nothing your sister's boyfriend can do either, the only person who can make any decisions here is your sister. All you can decide is whether to be the 'nice' big brother who supports her in her decisions or the gob****e who hammers her boyfriend for doing the most natural thing in the world (and presumably being unlucky/stupid) and/or tells her to have an abortion (great way to start your career as an uncle)... unfortunately there's no secret option number 3 here.

LegacyUser

sicktomyteeth wrote: »

I think he's scared of losing his little girl if he tries to tell her otherwise

What do you mean tell her? She's a 22-year-old woman. Which is something you should bear in mind too - she's not a child and she doesn't need you threatening anyone on her behalf. It's her life, let her deal with it.

Nevyn

http://www.positiveoptions.ie/index.php

Firstly Pass that on to your sister they do a range of information about unexpected pregnancy including the information and supports she can use to help her throught the life changes this will bring.

Secondly, she is a grown woman and not a child, I was 22 when I had my eldest and was 23 not long after, the same age as my mother when she had me and at 23 my grandmother had 3 children.

Thirdly so you think he might be a wanker and no help and no support to her,
well then don't be a wanker yourself and cause her more stress.
The last thing she will need is family getting in her face about being preggers and about what the father to be is like.

So get over yourself and be there for her, esp if you feel he won't be, make him compare badly to you and you are just her brother and not her partner.

Firetrap

Being honest, there's nothing you can do - stay out of it. Perhaps your concerns for your sister are genuine but what good is your wading into the situation going to do? All you will do is alienate your sister and make an enemy of her boyfriend (if you've not done so already). Worse still from your point of view, you could well drive them closer together.

You would be far better off calming down a bit and supporting your sister, rather than wanting to break the boyfriend's legs and taking over the situation. You might say she's naive and all that but in her head she's a fully grown adult of 22. I don't think there are many adults who would appreciate a family member poking their nose into their private business and trying to interfere, even if it is for their own good.

Zebra3

sicktomyteeth wrote: »

My little sister of 22 dumped her boyfriend of 2 years for another fella who we've discovered has got her pregnant after 2 weeks of going out. They are now going out 2 or 3 months and she is gone 8 weeks. When she told me today I hit the roof. I want to string him up, and told her I will break his legs. She says they are keeping the baby and will be happy. Its like something out of hollyoaks. My old man has resigned himself to the fact theres nothing he can do, in reality I think he's scared of losing his little girl if he tries to tell her otherwise. I need advice please on the best way to approach this. Ive heard so many stories from friends about guys leaving girls recently during pregnancy, or as I well know might leave in a year or two years given they havent been together for long. Is it wrong of me to ask her to weigh up her options, I was going to suggest maybe talking to some people who have seen it through but also some people who havent. I dont want to be told here btw that its none of my business, I know my sister well and she's very naive. Apparently the fella is urging her to have the baby. Its a mess.

There is so much wrong with all that, I wouldn't know where to start.

Your sister is an adult. If you're any good as a sister you'll be supporting her whatever she does.

Are you both still living at home? Does the thoughts of a baby in the house bug you? If so, get on with your own life and move out.

PS:Best of luck to your sister and her fella.

Catari Jaguar

I don't see the problem here.

She likes this new fella enough to break up her old relationship for him and try to make a future with him.

He likes her enough to stick around even though she was knocked up after 2 weeks. He obviously cares for her and respects her. Seems a very decent guy to me. Many men would have run a mile.

They are making a go of it. They seem happy. The baby will be loved.

It's NONE of your business. She's a grown woman. Why are you even angry?

Dudess

You appear to be focusing only on your feelings. Forget about them and concentrate on your sister's feelings. She's happy enough about things right now, be glad of that. I know you hate the idea of her getting hurt but she's made her decision, she has to follow this through herself and deal with whatever consequences are thrown up.

gaeilgegrinds

I was pregnant at 19 and it made us stick together like glue until he got sent away with work when I was 23. Honestly it can work. It's tough but when isn't it?! Be there for her.

peanuthead

Hi

To be honest her and this new fella have as much a chance of making a go of it as anyone else really. I know you never said the fella of 2 years was any better, but if it were him she was pregnant by, the reality of the situation would be no better.

No matter what your situation, married, single, whatever, the fella can always walk away just like that and wash his hands of the whole situation. Thats just the way it is.

I think as her older sister, your duty is to make her aware of all her options, but I am afraid that it is not your place to try and make her mind up for her. Either she will ignore you and do her own thing, or she will listen to you and maybe regret doing so. Both ways you risk damaging your relationship with her.

All you can do is advise her on her options, sit back, hope she makes the right one, and be there for her if she doesn't.

I know she's your little sister, but at the end of the day, she's 22, she needs to take responsibility for herself, especially if she's got some little one on the way to be responsible for too.

best of luck

Victor

sicktomyteeth wrote: »

I want to string him up, and told her I will break his legs.

All this does is hurt him and put you in prison. How about ensuring that hey have proper parenting and if necessary, relationship classes.

LolaLuv

OP, I can understand your feelings. As an older sibling it's incredibly difficult to stand by and watch as a younger sibling makes what you think is a terrible mistake. You really do feel like a parent because you've helped to nurture them and watched them grow. So it's natural to be protective. But you have to put your feelings aside in this. It's her life and, mistake or not, she has to live it the way she sees appropriate. If she decides not to keep the baby, I suppose you'll be happy. But if she decides to keep the baby, I guarantee you you'll still be happy. Believe me, as much as you love your sister you'll love your niece or nephew ten times more. So either way you'll be happy. Things might be more difficult for your sister, but would you really feel right bullying her into the decision that you feel is appropriate? The only thing you can do is offer her your unconditional love and support. She'll need it, even if things work out wonderfully with her new boyfriend.

loloray

sicktomyteeth wrote: »

I need advice please on the best way to approach this.

Support your sis and stop stressing as if this is a huge problem, and as if she can't deal with it. She's definitely old enough to deal with it - and well. It's great that her bf is sticking by her.

You should follow your father's example - he's doing the right thing. This is a joyous occasion for your sister and you should benefit from that.

Carrigart Exile

sicktomyteeth wrote: »

My little sister of 22 dumped her boyfriend of 2 years for another fella who we've discovered has got her pregnant after 2 weeks of going out. They are now going out 2 or 3 months and she is gone 8 weeks. When she told me today I hit the roof. I want to string him up, and told her I will break his legs. She says they are keeping the baby and will be happy. Its like something out of hollyoaks. My old man has resigned himself to the fact theres nothing he can do, in reality I think he's scared of losing his little girl if he tries to tell her otherwise. I need advice please on the best way to approach this. Ive heard so many stories from friends about guys leaving girls recently during pregnancy, or as I well know might leave in a year or two years given they havent been together for long. Is it wrong of me to ask her to weigh up her options, I was going to suggest maybe talking to some people who have seen it through but also some people who havent. I dont want to be told here btw that its none of my business, I know my sister well and she's very naive. Apparently the fella is urging her to have the baby. Its a mess.

I assure you if family members want to break his legs that's a sure fire way of driving him off. Your sister is 22, she's an adult and guess what, it takes two to tango.

Trinity

I know you dont want to be told its none of your business, but its really not.
I understand how you feel but she needs to make her own decisions and possibly her own mistakes.

Your sister is a grown woman, naive or not. And its her life and her body and ultimately her decision.

I cant see much wrong with asking her is she sure this is what she wants. As long as you dont coerce her in any way. You know i'm not going into the right and wrong debate, but abortion is not an easy out either. It can leave terrible emotional scars and regrets. Particularly if you feel talked into it, you will find someone to blame for your pain and if that person is you then you could lose her anyway.

Look my sis got pregnant at 15, i cried for weeks, but all i could do was be there for her. My niece is 10 now and we loved her to bits from the minute she was born.

You have to let her grow up. Yes of course this guy could leave. But they can leave regardless of how long they are together. There are no guarantees with relationships.

Just tell your sister you will be there for her. You are going to have a lovely niece/nephew in a few months time and thats all that will matter in the long run.

SpookyDoll

I dont want to be told here btw that its none of my business

Its not about you and what you want. Calm down and think before you go rushing in with big size nines.

I know my sister well and she's very naive.

Well, she will never learn if you dont back off and let her make her own mistakes. You are coming accross very controlling.

Yes, the boyfriend might leave her but that is out of your control. He might also stay too, its between them.

I understand you are concerned for your sister but you need to pull yourself together and use your brain not your fists.

Darragh29

I'd suggest that you take the next few days over Christmas to get out for a few long walks and calm down a bit and put her problem into some perspective. It's not the end of the world and she needs support, not to be judged or have threats and a negativity heaped upon her...

Peewee_lane

My 21 year old sis finished with her long term boyf in May, met a guy and got pregnant straight away. I found it sad because shes only 21 but my parents were fantastic about it because, she wasnt dying, or diagnosed with cancer, and its only a baby, and he is standing by her, and they have got their house on the affordable housing scheme.

I went out and bought her some maternity presents straight away, so she wouldnt feel, suicidal, like she had done wrong, etc.. I wanted her to know she had everyones support.

I was shocked and upset too, but, really, its not about me, its about these two young heads having to grow up real fast and pull together and raise a little kiddy.

Anyway, are you a virgin? Did you not have sex when you were her age? These things happen, this is when your sis needs her family to pull together most.

Im shocked you are being so immature about this, I just wanted you to know that I am only 2 years older than your sister and I didnt react that way at all. Im glad she didnt tell us she had HIV or something.

Grow up, get out to Easons and buy her a baby book and tell her in a card that if she needs anything at all, your there.

LegacyUser

sicktomyteeth wrote: »

My old man has resigned himself to the fact theres nothing he can do

And he's right. Wouldn't it be worse if your sister was 15 and pregnant by a stranger?? Be glad that your little sister has a boyfriend and a father who are standing by her. It's support she needs now, not threats from her brother to break her boyfriend's legs.

Zulu

OP how old are you?

Terodil

Stop trying to direct your sister's life.

mutualismo

OP, I sympathise. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to help family members (or indeed anyone) to improve their decision-making.

In my opinion it would save you a lot of wasted time and effort to accept that she is taking this path. She is your sister and it may be natural for you to want to help her, but she is almost certainly beyond help as far as anything you could provide goes. Therapy/counselling from a professional would probably do a lot, but it's unlikely that you will be able to find out what's really going on with her.

Maybe you should reconsider your familial relationships in general. I have no real idea about how you are doing, but it can help to take time and space away from people sometimes to re-assess what your relationship with them is achieving. I have gone fairly long periods of time without seeing my family when they are disappointing me or getting me down. You are free to maintain or break relationships as and when you please. If you are dealing with corrupt or immature people, and it's affecting your quality of life, it's good to ask yourself: why?

Wagon

sicktomyteeth wrote: »

I want to string him up, and told her I will break his legs.

I need advice please on the best way to approach this.

You can stop acting like a retard for a start. That kind of crap above really pisses me off :mad: You're a bloke yourself! How would you like it if you got your girlfriend pregnant and you both decided to make a go of it and then her older brother came around to beat the **** out of you? Course, it'll be all your fault wouldn't it?

I'm going to be very honest here. She's 22. You say she's naive, but from your post I would be inclined to second guess that remark. Let her get on with it, it's her business and as you're her older brother, you are supposed to offer her support and not give out **** to her. That's all there is to it. Follow your old man's footsteps here and realise that whats done is done and you can't change it so at least try and not have a room temperature IQ about it and start acting like an adult.

Blackwall

I wouldn't be offering my brother/sister support and all that other stuff if she got unintentionally pregnant..why should the OP have to do that and pick up the pieces if needs be for her when she's determined to have it etc so she's obviously able to deal with it on her own with her bf.

LolaLuv

Blackwall wrote: »

why should the OP have to do that

He doesn't have to do it, but many people choose to stand by their loved ones when they make bad choices, especially family members.

LegacyUser

For the love of god stay out of it. You'll wreck your relationship with your sis and she won't feel she can turn to you if it does all go pear shaped. Plus, you don't know that they won't live happily ever after, and if they do, you'll always be the wanker who tried to ruin it. I got preggers at 18 by someone I'd only been with a short while, and a family member did get involved... it caused nothing but resentment and impacted on my childs life in a very bad way.... i'm still trying to fix the damage years later.

And i wish people would stop looking at getting pregnant as if it were some kind of horrible disease. It's a happy occasion! Will someone please think of the children?! :P

dlofnep

Leave them alone. What exactly has this fella done to prove he's not going to be a responsible boyfriend/father? Unless he does otherwise - let them be and don't cause problems between them. IT will only make it worse. Why on earth would you want to beat him up? For having sex? I bet you've never done it before, right?

It takes two to tango. Be a real brother and support your sister, not try to beat her fella up. The last thing you want to do is to push this guy away so that he leaves your sister.

In short, grow up. Let her live her life.

Blackwall

PillyPen wrote: »

He doesn't have to do it, but many people choose to stand by their loved ones when they make bad choices, especially family members.

True,suppose some people do that,personally I wouldn't .

LolaLuv

Blackwall wrote: »

True,suppose some people do that,personally I wouldn't .

That's understandable. Sometimes it's very difficult. OP will have to decide for him/herself what to do at this point. Hopefully everything will end up happy, though.

LegacyUser

OH FOR GODSAKE OP ITS CHRISTMAS TIME!

LEAVE IT BE AND HAVE A MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

YAAAAAY CHRISTMAS TIME AND NEW BORN BABIES OF GOLDEN JOY

I AM SO EXCITED.

BenGunn

sicktomyteeth wrote: »

My little sister of 22 dumped her boyfriend of 2 years for another fella who we've discovered has got her pregnant after 2 weeks of going out. They are now going out 2 or 3 months and she is gone 8 weeks. When she told me today I hit the roof. I want to string him up, and told her I will break his legs. She says they are keeping the baby and will be happy. Its like something out of hollyoaks. My old man has resigned himself to the fact theres nothing he can do, in reality I think he's scared of losing his little girl if he tries to tell her otherwise. I need advice please on the best way to approach this. Ive heard so many stories from friends about guys leaving girls recently during pregnancy, or as I well know might leave in a year or two years given they havent been together for long. Is it wrong of me to ask her to weigh up her options, I was going to suggest maybe talking to some people who have seen it through but also some people who havent. I dont want to be told here btw that its none of my business, I know my sister well and she's very naive. Apparently the fella is urging her to have the baby. Its a mess.

1) Sit down with her and talk. If you've a car drive out to somewhere she can't get pissed off and storm off.

2) Stress at the outset that you know that it's her choice and that you'll be there to support her either way

3) Tell her you don't think she should have it, and point out that her and the guy probably aren't long term. Ask her if she can see herself with the guy in 5 years, and why is this so given that she's known him such a short time? Stress that that is not fair to her or the baby if they break up and/or she ends up resenting the kid.

4) Ask her has she done everything with her youth that she wanted to do? Has she travelled the world. Is she ok with not having any proper crazy nights out for the next 16+ years? Is she ok with the effects on her body? Can she support it? Does she really think she's ready to be a parent?

5) It mightn't do any harm meeting with the guy (breaking his legs not helpful) and asking him the same questions. Most guys that age aren't ready to settle. Better to do this sooner than later while she still has time to change her mind (I'm assuming she's ok with abortion in principal, if not adoption is also an option though this will likely be more difficult for her).

6) If she decides to have it and keep it, and you can't change her mind, be there to support her. That's a big brother's job.

Good Luck

Blackwall

PillyPen wrote: »

That's understandable. Sometimes it's very difficult. OP will have to decide for him/herself what to do at this point. Hopefully everything will end up happy, though.

Yea hope it does too whatever decision the op's sister finally comes to .

One thing I've noticed being said in this thread and a few others on unexpected pregnancies is posters saying that it's going to be great and it's a bundle of joy etc etc..how could having a baby that wasn't planned and is going to cause great difficulty in having be a happy time (sorry for the off topic question just always want to know how having a baby be a happy time as everyone keeps saying it is with all the stress it brings )

LolaLuv

Blackwall wrote: »

Yea hope it does too whatever decision the op's sister finally comes to .

One thing I've noticed being said in this thread and a few others on unexpected pregnancies is posters saying that it's going to be great and it's a bundle of joy etc etc..how could having a baby that wasn't planned and is going to cause great difficulty in having be a happy time (sorry for the off topic question just always want to know how having a baby be a happy time as everyone keeps saying it is with all the stress it brings )

I think there's a difference between easy and happy. All of the people I've known who have had babies under poor circumstances have gone crazy with worry and fear and stress. But people tend to love babies, especially their own, so much that they can deal better than people without kids would in equally stressful but different circumstances.

philologos

sicktomyteeth wrote: »

My little sister of 22 dumped her boyfriend of 2 years for another fella who we've discovered has got her pregnant after 2 weeks of going out. They are now going out 2 or 3 months and she is gone 8 weeks. When she told me today I hit the roof. I want to string him up, and told her I will break his legs. She says they are keeping the baby and will be happy. Its like something out of hollyoaks. My old man has resigned himself to the fact theres nothing he can do, in reality I think he's scared of losing his little girl if he tries to tell her otherwise. I need advice please on the best way to approach this. Ive heard so many stories from friends about guys leaving girls recently during pregnancy, or as I well know might leave in a year or two years given they havent been together for long. Is it wrong of me to ask her to weigh up her options, I was going to suggest maybe talking to some people who have seen it through but also some people who havent. I dont want to be told here btw that its none of my business, I know my sister well and she's very naive. Apparently the fella is urging her to have the baby. Its a mess.

Hey I actually agree with most of the responses I've seen in the first bit of this thread anyway.

It is her decision, and I think that the best piece of news about this is, that although she has made a mistake, she is deciding to keep the child, and to give it it's right to life, I can only applaud that.

Go easy on her, and help her get through this as much as possible whether or not you agree with the sentiment is irrelevant, she's pregnant and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Be supportive, and be happy that she is bringing a new life in this world, and hope that her new boyfriend will stay around so that this child may have a mother and a father, which is crucially important.

Take hope

Blackwall

PillyPen wrote: »

I think there's a difference between easy and happy. All of the people I've known who have had babies under poor circumstances have gone crazy with worry and fear and stress. But people tend to love babies, especially their own, so much that they can deal better than people without kids would in equally stressful but different circumstances.

So then it's not actually something to be happy about or to celebrate because why would you celebrate something that is unplanned and going to cause some real hardship with its arrival

Jakkass wrote: »

be happy that she is bringing a new life in this world,

^ See I just don't get it

LolaLuv

Blackwall wrote: »

So then it's not actually something to be happy about or to celebrate because why would you celebrate something that is unplanned and going to cause some real hardship with its arrival

I guess it would depend on the person. My family is really big on kids (there are five of us), and all of us really love children so we thought it sucked when my brother got his girlfriend pregnant (they hadn't been together long), and we were upset about that, but then we thought 9 months ahead to a new addition in the family and we were excited for that. Babies are wonderful gifts, they bring people a lot of joy.

Blackwall

PillyPen wrote: »

I guess it would depend on the person. My family is really big on kids (there are five of us), and all of us really love children so we thought it sucked when my brother got his girlfriend pregnant (they hadn't been together long), and we were upset about that, but then we thought 9 months ahead to a new addition in the family and we were excited for that. Babies are wonderful gifts, they bring people a lot of joy.

I see what you're saying but I just don't see how they can bring joy when they're not planned or really wanted what's so joyful about a baby that's going to be so much hard work,anyway that's just my view on it.

philologos

Blackwall wrote: »

So then it's not actually something to be happy about or to celebrate because why would you celebrate something that is unplanned and going to cause some real hardship with its arrival



^ See I just don't get it

Okay. Well, the reason behind why I would say to be happy or joyful at the coming of new life is irrespective of whether is it expected or not, life is a beautiful thing, a great thing. Indeed, she has made a mistake, there will be struggles along the way, but the end is a good one, although the mean may be stressful for all.

Splendour

PillyPen wrote: »

I guess it would depend on the person. My family is really big on kids (there are five of us), and all of us really love children so we thought it sucked when my brother got his girlfriend pregnant (they hadn't been together long), and we were upset about that, but then we thought 9 months ahead to a new addition in the family and we were excited for that. Babies are wonderful gifts, they bring people a lot of joy.

I agree with you PillyPen, we had something similar in our family a couple of years back. My sister's daughter became pregnant at the age of 19 and had only been with the guy a couple of months. Though at first distraught, my sister was very accepting. Her daughter however wasn't so accepting and decided to travel to the U.K. for a termination. Thank God though to everyone's delight, when my niece was awoken in the U.K. on the morning of the termination she decided she couldn't go through with it and came home.

I've just come home from my sister's house where this now two year old child, gave us endless hours of fun and love.
I too became pregnant at the age of 18 and my daughter,now 25 years of age, still gives me endless fun (lotsa hearache on the journey, but lotsa love too...)

Life is sacred no matter what the circumstances are. This girl needs love and support not judgement.
OP, come back to us in a year or so and tell us how you feel then. It won't be all plain sailing for your sister but I bet you fall madly in love with your niece/nephew...

ebmma

Maybe it takes a village to raise a child, but it shouldn't take a village to decide what your sis wants to do with her pregnancy.

She has options and she should be aware of all of them to be able to make an informed decision. Suggest talking to IFPA or Well Woman, they are very good in there.

However it is not very clear if she actually views this as a "crisis pregnancy". If she's happy about having a baby - yay, you are going to be an aunt and maybe just try to be happy for her too.

If she's not happy (not everyone always wants children, nothing wrong with that) she should decide herself what she wants to do. Don't try to force her into anything.

Having a baby isn't going to scar her and ruin her life.
Having an abortion isn't going to scar her and ruin her life.

Doing something she really doesn't want to do just to make someone else happy will.

MJOR

Violence solves nothing. At the end of the day you get one life to live and you have yours. You sister has hers and all you can do is be there for her. The more you critisize her the less likely she is to come to you with future problems

philologos

ebmma wrote: »

Having a baby isn't going to scar her and ruin her life.
Having an abortion isn't going to scar her and ruin her life.

There are quite a few negative health risks that are associated with abortions. I personally wouldn't have it first on my list.

ebmma

Jakkass wrote: »

There are quite a few negative health risks that are associated with abortions. I personally wouldn't have it first on my list.

Oh, I wouldn't have it first on my list either. It is one of 3 options. I just think it should be considered.

If you are young and healthy in general risks are really low. What's really gonna damage your health is multiple abortions. But it is not what the discussion is about.

The point I was trying to make is that I think that most important thing is that whatever decision OP's sister makes it should be hers alone. Less chance she'll end up regretting it.

And you'd really hate to be a person who pushed somebody into having an abortion when baby was actually wanted (even if circumstances are sh*t).
You'd also hate to be a person who bullied somebody into keeping unwanted pregnancy.

LegacyUser

Ive been the other fella in the past - was going with a woman for about a month - accident happened... pregnancy resulted.

As it happened we were both shocked - I didnt want a baby and was worried about the practicalites of raising the baby, but Id never have dared to pressure her into not having the baby - she made her own decision and i was just there for support/punchbag.

Be very careful about trying to pressure her, whatever decision she makes will haunt her for the rest of her life, she will have regrets if she doesnt have the baby no matter what! That decision needs to be hers.

Me to you

Go work on gettig pregnant yourself, thats a fun activity to keep you out of your sisters life.

Oh and its a fantastic idea to go break his legs, therefore he wont be able work to save money for when the baby arrives, plus they will have the added costs of hospital bills etc, yeah you really truly have your sisters best interest at heart.

Oh and its all his fault of course, yeah cause she got a bump on the head that night they had sex and she temp lost her speech and was unable to tell him to but a condom on... no one to tango, def!

Mr. Skeffington

Break his legs!