xmas spend

LegacyUser

Being very reclusive i do not have hardly anything to shop for at xmas as i have hardly any friends and do not get on with my family. so i just end buying stuff for the sake of it as everyone is shopping and I feel mean if i dont spend money. To make it worse i will be going to my father for xmas and he insists on paying for the meal etc and gets annoyed if Isay I will contribute.

For same reason i do not bother with lights decorations etc as I have no one to share xmaswith i couldn't be bitered wish it was over and wish shops were open xmas day. only my dad ius on his own i would not bother with going there either. I would like to have a gf but they do not seem interested and want to be friends i do not want them as friends so do not bother with them or their partners who would only want me until they had dates. hence reclusive and prefer it that way now

I have recently moved to a new house and have no problem spending money on that because it has a use but spending it on xmas seems pointless

Victor

Why not spend some on someone who needs give - give some to St. Vincent de Paul or the like.

LegacyUser

Victor wrote: »

Why not spend some on someone who needs give - give some to St. Vincent de Paul or the like.

I did

sorry forgot my screen name

Kidchameleon

Hi,

My heart goes out to you. It must be a very hard time for you. One thing I will say is dont set yourself up for regrets, by that I mean try to get to know your old man a bit better, if something were to happen to him it might make you realise that in fact he was there for you, you dont need to be lonely, better off making the most of what you have. You sound very bitter, let me tell you that bitterness is not very attractive to the opposite sex... And why are you "not bothered"? You will never be happy if you dont bother doing anything about it. I agree also that if you have more money than you need, why not give some to people who are less fortunate? Doing so, you would not feel "mean", and also it might ignite the spirit within you, sounds to me you need a bit of a spark in your life. Look, do one thing for me, dont sit around and waste your life, you have potential, dont be like this next christmas. Youve got a whole year to get out there do some charity work, meet people, get involved in activities make you life richer, do sport and feel better about yourself, life's to short and fun to waste my friend.

Good Luck:)

LegacyUser

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Hi,

My heart goes out to you. It must be a very hard time for you. One thing I will say is dont set yourself up for regrets, by that I mean try to get to know your old man a bit better, if something were to happen to him it might make you realise that in fact he was there for you, you dont need to be lonely, better off making the most of what you have. You sound very bitter, let me tell you that bitterness is not very attractive to the opposite sex... And why are you "not bothered"? You will never be happy if you dont bother doing anything about it. I agree also that if you have more money than you need, why not give some to people who are less fortunate? Doing so, you would not feel "mean", and also it might ignite the spirit within you, sounds to me you need a bit of a spark in your life. Look, do one thing for me, dont sit around and waste your life, you have potential, dont be like this next christmas. Youve got a whole year to get out there do some charity work, meet people, get involved in activities make you life richer, do sport and feel better about yourself, life's to short and fun to waste my friend.

Good Luck:)

i did give money to charity and have no problem with my father, sorry if i gave that impression.if i am bitter to women then it is way they treated me and why i am not bothered with them

Piste

It doesn't sound like you're interested in girls really, like you say you don't want them as friends...well do you think girlfriends just appear fully formed out of the sea? A relationship is built on friendship, and if you don't even want that then how can you want a girlfriend?

Antilles

they do not seem interested and want to be friends i do not want them as friends so do not bother with them or their partners

There's your problem.

Why would somebody want you either as a friend or romantic partner? If you are the sort of person who has no interest in others unless you can get something from them, I certainly wouldn't want to know you.

I have no idea where you could go to fix this problem, but you need to develop some social skills. Get out there and make friends. Nobody is interested in a loner who has no interest or skill in elementary human interaction.

LegacyUser

Antilles wrote: »

There's your problem.

Why would somebody want you either as a friend or romantic partner? If you are the sort of person who has no interest in others unless you can get something from them, I certainly wouldn't want to know you.

everybody gets something from another, sorry i did not explain nvery well the situation it is hard to make someone understand from printed word. thanks for the replies

Magicmatilda

Hiya, from reading your amil its sounds to me as if you are depressed. As you say you are not bothered, with anything, it seems and that is a sign of depression. Its obvious that you have been hurt by one or more women but not all women will hurt you. I have been hurt by several men but I keep putting myself out there because I know that there are good ones out there. Are you genuinely happy or even content with your life at the moment? Are you fulfilled? If you are then fine, but if not, if this is not what you expected then maybe you need to try and get yourself out of what sounds like a lonely, rut to me.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your reply seems you understand a bit

Magicmatilda wrote: »

Hiya, from reading your amil its sounds to me as if you are depressed.

yes a bit

[qoute]As you say you are not bothered, with anything,[/quote]I kinda mean i am not bothered with xmas as i have no one special in my life to share it with.I feel a bit better now cos i have arranged to share the cost of the meal and got some presents so have some to buy. the joys of spending and yes gave some to charity as someone said

Its obvious that you have been hurt by one or more women

yes i find that women just see me as a friend and use me as someone to complain to. So i avoid them

but not all women will hurt you.

wanna bet

I have been hurt by several men but I keep putting myself out there because I know that there are good ones out there.

maybe some of them see you as more than a friend. only people i don't fancy fancy me and i have sort of dropped out as i do not like at all being on the peripherary of couples. I have found too of male friends that they would only want me when they are not in a relationship. so i have a life that has very few friends and avoid anything where rejected status is obvious

Are you genuinely happy or even content with your life at the moment?

I have a new house and am very happy with that but it is lonely. i would like someone in my bed not so much for sex but to be close to. the nicest memory of my ex is of falling asleep in her arms not the passionate sex we shared. Also i do have and am being treated for depression and the meds cause loss of interest in sex but not in intimacy or wanting to be close to someone

.....maybe you need to try and get yourself out of what sounds like a lonely, rut to me.

yes it is but as i said i feel it is pointless to mix with couples why would i want to be with couples or friends with people who do not want me... except as a non sexual being.

Another thing I dont understand is when you know someone enough toget a card at xmas. I have a good friend but he does not send me a card and even though we met for a drink last week and he had a load of them to send to his friends