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I kissed best friend

  • 20-12-2008 2:19pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok so here's the thing; yesterday I kissed my best friend. We were at his house and we were just lying in each others arms on the couch when he started kissing my face and eventually got to my lips. It didn't feel odd at all, in fact, it felt really right and wasn't at all awkward afterwards. We talked about it a bit, and while it's obvious we're attracted to each other, the problem is that while he doesn't have a steady girlfriend, there is a girl in Wexford (we live in Dublin) who he has been messing around with a bit when she's up in Dublin. I don't really know what to do, I feel a bit of the green-eyed monster coming out as far as she's concerned. I'll be seeing him sometime next week, similar setting to yesterday I would say.

    He's said that he does want to be with me, but not right now, and that if we're going to be together that it needs to be serious (which I agree with) and he's not sure if he can make the commitment at the moment. I'm really confused, not sure what to do. Any advice?

    Cheers guys,
    Ellie.


Comments

  • #2
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    He's said that he does want to be with me, but not right now, and that if we're going to be together that it needs to be serious (which I agree with) and he's not sure if he can make the commitment at the moment.

    That sounds a bit dodgy, but it's a complicated situation. Give him a bit of time but don't let him string you along on an ongoing basis


  • #3
    Trinity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭Trinity


    On one hand you have to admire his honesty. On the other hand and here comes the lecture, do not sleep with him. If you do as far as i am concerned its game over. You will end up his fcuk buddy whether you like it or not.

    Just go with the flow and continue your friendship as it has been. Continue to see other peopel and dont wait around. If its meant to be it will be.

    I dont lie in my best friends arms, is this the norm these days?


  • #4
    tolosenc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,889 ✭✭✭tolosenc


    Trinity1 wrote: »
    I dont lie in my best friends arms, is this the norm these days?

    Not the norm, but not unheard of. In fairness, at a party, sittin on the couch with a girl mate who's a bit tired it's a bit natural instinct to put my arm around her.

    @OP, go with the flow, play it cool, but stay in control.


  • #5
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    Unregistered wrote: »
    Ok so here's the thing; yesterday I kissed my best friend.

    he has been messing around with a bit when she's up in Dublin.


    He's said that he does want to be with me, but not right now,


    he's not sure if he can make the commitment at the moment.

    So he's messing around with a girl from down the country and now he just wants to mess around with you too.

    I would imagine that you have no idea how serious things really are between your friend and this other girl, chances are you an him have been on the cards for a while so he would naturally be playing hi hand very close to his ches for some time.

    He's just playing the field at the moment and is happy this way, don't let him play you.

    If he really likes you he'll commit.


  • #6
    Diarmsquid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,584 ✭✭✭Diarmsquid


    Do you think maybe the only reason you're having these feelings for him is that there's someone else on the scene.?

    Happened to me once. It was just a phase.


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  • #7
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    Trinity1 wrote: »
    On one hand you have to admire his honesty. On the other hand and here comes the lecture, do not sleep with him. If you do as far as i am concerned its game over. You will end up his fcuk buddy whether you like it or not.

    Just go with the flow and continue your friendship as it has been. Continue to see other peopel and dont wait around. If its meant to be it will be.

    I dont lie in my best friends arms, is this the norm these days?
    Me and my best friend cuddle all the time especially when we are upset.I am in a long term relationship and he is married.It never leads to kissing or anything else.I know loads of girls who cuddle each other why should it be different for a male and female...


  • #8
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    OP sleeping together will ruin your relationship,especially if he is messing around with another girl.The fact that she is from Wexford sounds like he isa keeping her at a safe distance so he can screw around.
    Just pretend it never happened and move on...


  • #9
    seahorse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »
    That sounds a bit dodgy, but it's a complicated situation. Give him a bit of time but don't let him string you along on an ongoing basis

    Yeah, it sounds a bit dodgy to me too. I don't agree that it's complicated though, I think it's pretty straight-forward actually: either he wants to be with you or he doesn't. I don't buy the "I want to be with you, but not right now" line. That sounds to me like he wants to put the chance of a relationship with you on the long finger and keep his options open while he does a bit more 'messing around' with Miss Wexford, which is very unfair to her also.


  • #10
    marzic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 784 ✭✭✭marzic


    HouseHippo wrote: »
    Me and my best friend cuddle all the time especially when we are upset.I am in a long term relationship and he is married.It never leads to kissing or anything else.I know loads of girls who cuddle each other why should it be different for a male and female...

    ...because of the potential to cross that line is the difference


  • #11
    abi2007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 726 ✭✭✭abi2007


    what trinity said! also i think this whole thing of not being able to commit at the mo but maybe in the future is a load of crap.. I wouldn't sleep with him, you'll just become his shag buddy. if he really liked you he would be a bit more serious and sacrafice his single status


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  • #12
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Your playing right into this guys court and heading for fcuk buddy territory. It is so simple....IGNORE your impulses tell him your not into him flaunt other guys in front of him and make him aware of your desirability! I should know my wonderful husband is here beside me it works its part of the ganme don`t ruin this for yourself!


  • #13
    abi2007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 726 ✭✭✭abi2007


    marzic wrote: »
    ...because of the potential to cross that line is the difference

    2 female friends can cross that line too..


  • #14
    taram
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭taram


    I was the guy you're describing in my situation. I took a deep look at myself, thought about my options and because he is my best friend that whatever'd happen I'd have to take that into account. I ended it with the guy I was casually seeing, got together with my best friend and the rest they say is history, we're getting engaged next year. The point is, he has to make that choice, you are very important in his life right now, he needs to treat you as such if you go ahead with this, not just as a potential squeeze.


  • #15
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    Unregistered wrote: »
    Your playing right into this guys court and heading for fcuk buddy territory. It is so simple....IGNORE your impulses tell him your not into him flaunt other guys in front of him and make him aware of your desirability! I should know my wonderful husband is here beside me it works its part of the ganme don`t ruin this for yourself!

    That's terrible advice. OP, I recommend you ignore this post. Don't try to make him jealous or any of that bullshít, you're not children.


  • #16
    nobodythere
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,349 ✭✭✭nobodythere


    http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/friends.png

    Just to lighten up the situation :)


  • #17
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Trinity1 wrote: »
    I dont lie in my best friends arms, is this the norm these days?

    My best friend used to lie in my arms all the time, of course, we ARE going out now. Might be something in that.

    OP, this guy wants to be interested that is his issue, don't sit around and wait for him to make his mind up though. He'll come to his conclusion on his own, until then just act as you guys have always acted up till now.


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