New girl's numbers

LegacyUser

Feel a bit silly doing this but basically story is I have a new girl in my life and it's been going very well. I'm mad about her, she gets on with my friends and the sex life is very good.

However, since we started having sex I've been obsessing about how many partners she's had. Before we slept together we hadn't talked about our previous sex experiences. I'm 20 and she's my third. She's 20 too but I know she's had way more than three (she hasn't mentioned any number). She's also had so much more different sexual experiences than me and she's very open about them. Sometimes I feel awkward when she talks about them. I feel inadequate too but once we're having sex it doesn't matter.

Afterwards the thoughts come back and it really gets to me. Personally, I always obsess about having things perfect. I always try to find fault with everything. So how do I get past my obsession with her numbers and just enjoy having something really good happening in my life? I know that it has the chance to wreck our relationship because I can be a jealous and stupid arsehole.

pseudonym1

What do you want
To be happy and with someone you like who likes you too
Or
To obbsess about something that is in the past and you cannot control.

If you ask a question and you don't get the answer you are looking for -Id say let it be learn the maturity of accepting things and people for what they are.

And enjoy!!!

Mr. Incognito

Get over it.

Everyone has a past, including you.

Nevyn

Unregistered wrote: »

Feel a bit silly doing this but basically story is I have a new girl in my life and it's been going very well. I'm mad about her, she gets on with my friends and the sex life is very good.

However, since we started having sex I've been obsessing about how many partners she's had. Before we slept together we hadn't talked about our previous sex experiences. I'm 20 and she's my third. She's 20 too but I know she's had way more than three (she hasn't mentioned any number). She's also had so much more different sexual experiences than me and she's very open about them. Sometimes I feel awkward when she talks about them. I feel inadequate too but once we're having sex it doesn't matter.

Afterwards the thoughts come back and it really gets to me. Personally, I always obsess about having things perfect. I always try to find fault with everything. So how do I get past my obsession with her numbers and just enjoy having something really good happening in my life? I know that it has the chance to wreck our relationship because I can be a jealous and stupid arsehole.

Well ask her to be more candid about talking about her past experiences
explain that you are the one she with now and you don't want to her to talk about about
what other people have done with/to her but you want to hear from her what she want to do
with you or to you or have done to her by you.

As for her having more experience well then you may learn a lot from her.

impr0v

You're most of the way there already.

You realise that:
- your fears are irrational
- what's happening (i.e. the relationship) is a good thing
- that you are finding fault where there really isn't one and it has the potential to be problem

Keep these things in mind and eventually you'll start to feel rather than think the above things and then there'll be no problem.

Realising a few more things might help too, like:
- her talking about her previous sexual experiences is subconsciously or consciously designed to have some effect on you (I can't tell you what effect because I don't know her, but it would classically be to cover up for a lack of those experiences)
- your level of experience and performance thus far is sufficient for her or else she would have left you.