Head wrecked by her

LegacyUser

My head is wrecked.

I'll try and keep this as short as I can.
Two years ago I started seeing this chick, we dated for a few months.
She's really beautiful and sweet but I think I was only with her for an ego boost because she had no personality whatsoever.
Seriously it was impossible to have a conversation with her, she was very shy and clingy.

She was very passionate with kissing at stuff but never wanted to go further which for me, being 19 was very difficult.
I decided to break up with her, but instead got very drunk and slept with my neighbour.
My neighbour told my gf before I did and she was devestated, crying a lot, not going to college,textin and callin me.
At that point I decided to just keep me distance , even though we shared a lot of friends but whatever I did it.
So the calls stopped and then she had a total personality transplant!
Suddenly she was really outgoing, chatty, witty, smart, funny etc. We didn't really speak much to each other but I'd see the way she was with others and I was really happy for her. To be honest it eased my guilt a bit.
Anyway I didn't really give her much thought after that because I started seeing other people, had a couple of girlfriends, a new job etc.
So anyway over a year after we'd broken up I saw my ex girl on a night out. Now I had had a few drinks and was feeling sorry

for myself so I became overwhelmed with guilt and decided to apologise for what happened.
So I had a few more shots and made my way over. At first she slagged me, then I slagged her, then we had another drink
...
..
.
Then I woke up in bed, she was getting dressed, said something about an appointment and left.
I didn't know what to do, I got a few slaggy texts from friends I'd been out with but I didn't even reply.
Anyway I decided to meet with her and figure it out.
She said it was a bit of fun and no big deal and she had just been curious.
I thought fair enough...but I met her again by chance only this time I was determined to remember it.
We slept together again, and have been doing so for the last 8 or 9 weeks.
Now the thing is I've fallen for her. At first it was just for the mind blowing sex but now it's more.
She's so confident, independent, mature, funny and chatty. She'll talk away to me while I'm driving her home or whatever and

when we're with our mutual friends but I've asked her on dates and to be my girlfriend again but she says no, that our previous relationship was a total waste of time and she doesn't want any commitment. She says she cares about me but just wants fun. I've bought her presents and made romantic gestures but she says (in a nice way) she doesn't want it. She says if thats too much for me to handle then we shouldn't hook up anymore.
I just want her to be with me so bad. I love waking up with her,I want to be part of her life.
I know I hurt her but I've grown as a person and just wish she would trust me.
It's driving me crazy.
Half of me feels I should just stop seeing her but the other half thinks she must have feelings for me, she's so sweet to me, it has to be more than just sex for her too it just has to, she could have any guy in the world for that.
My mates think I'm mad and I should enjoy the ride...I don't know

LegacyUser

for me it looks a little like you swapped roles. Now you are the one that badly wants this relationship and you suddenly notticed how much fun she is.

Are you sure you want to be with her for her not because she doesn't want you?
If she says 'no' than there's nothing you can do. It can also be the case she is getting her revange for what you've done to her.
Best option may be cutting all contact with her as at some stage you will probably get hurt.

LegacyUser

Sounds to me like she does like you a lot but perhaps she is finding it hard to trust you after the last time you were in a relationship together??
Maybe take a step back from the situation, give her a bit of space to sort out her feelings and hopefully in time you guys can give it another chance.
Best of luck!!

LegacyUser

I guess you could try flirting with someone else in front of her, maybe it will make her wise up to how she really feels.

Or have you tried speaking to your mutual friends about this?