Stressed about Everything

LegacyUser

Basically I can sum everything up into: Im in my Final year in College, my mum is sick and I just feel like ****.

It seems so hard to not give into negative thinking. Most of the time Im a fairly positive person, but it seems like this year everything is getting me down. Before I would have told myself to stop being silly if I was feeling down, but now i just give into it, and it seems so hard to get out of thinking like that.

College is hard, even though I am doing a fairly easy course (arts). I have so much college work but with my mum being sick I am not getting everything done. And the stuff I have handed in was crap. I still have an outstanding essay and an exam this week. I wanted to do well this year but now Im not sure I will pass the year. Of course Im not blaming my mum for this (more like College for landing so much work on us) but the fact that she is sick adds more pressure, as she cannot drive and has to go to a lot of hospital appointments. I have other siblings but they are doing leaving cert etc so they have lots to do and my mum doesnt want to disturb them, which means I have to take up a fair amount of slack.

Im not sure why I am posting this, I just need to get some of this off my chest. Im under so much pressure that sometimes I feel like crying and other times I feel like Im going insane.

Can anyone give me advice on coping with any of this? Im sorry if I come across as a horrible bitch or anything, this is just the way I feel about things.

Thanks.

Karen_*

You don't sound horrible at all. You're under huge pressure so stop being so hard on yourself!!

Look it sound like you're doing your best under difficult circumstances. Its not like you're not trying and so you'll probably do better than you think.. Can you confide in your tutors and ask can you get an extention on the essays etc? People can't help unless you let them and they know what's going on? And you'll feel better for taling to someone face to face. Don't keep bottling this all up and taking on more than anyone would be able for.

Senna

Sorry to hear about your mother, it can be tough when a parent looks to you for help, but your mother is very lucky you are there to help.

Go talk to the college councillor, it can be great just to talk about things, s/he might not be able to help but its more about ranting and letting out some of your problems. You could also approach your dept head and see if you could delay some project and assignments.

Just a thought;
Seen you are in your final year you could defer some semesterised classes till next year (2009/10), the job market is terrible and i'd rather be in college for another year than be looking for work.:D
Might take off a bit of pressure.

LegacyUser

This exact suituation was my own earlier this year. My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and I too was half way through my final year. Its so hard to be positive when so much around you is negative.
I had a chat with the dean of my school, he was so helpful, I decided to continue with my studies - with my families backing - and feel like having a support system there, be it a friend or family member, or even a lecturer or councillor, really helped me. My dad passed away quite quickly. Just 7 weeks after his diagnosis and I still had one exam to sit... which was possibly the toughest thing I've ever done, but I knew it was for the best, and what my dad would have wanted. Anyway I got a 2.1 and I'm working away now!

I guess what I'm tryingto say is that times are hard, but believe me things can and will get brighter some day. Keep your chin up, and, for your mams sake, try to be as positive as you can.

Its always good to talk so even by posting here your taking a step in the right direction!
All the best,
J x

LegacyUser

Hey, final year in college was one of the worst years from the point of view of work and pressure. It's like everything, you get out of things what you put into them.

Talk to the dean of your faculty, or one of the professors.I know a guy in college with us who's mum died from cancer shortly before our exams one year; this was taken into account. There are a few more stories like that too, my cousin was in a similar situation.

They are very approachable, and will always want to hear your side, and will do their best to account for it particularly in final year. They want you to graduate, they don't want to fail people.

you really have to talk to them because if you don't and your results are bad, they won't know why, and won't be able to take it into account.
Best of luck

SeekingHelp

Hi ya,
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, you are doing all you can and More so don't think you're not doing enough. Stressing about a situation can be tiresome, leading to sleepless nights and loss of appetite. It can affect soo many things physically, so do look after yourself or how are you going to look after your mother?
Regarding college, I was really sick with a bad flu in my final year in college when I was doing my Christmas exams. I had to tell the Head of the department; to explain that I was feeling really bad. He was really good about it, and said he would make all of my lecturers aware.
I was extremely worried about my performance during the exams because normally I would be in full health and doing pretty well. I passed all exams with flying colours (even though sometimes I don't know how I got what I did). The point is, it was taken into consideration - we're all human and we suffer with problems. They will understand and are willing to help you out.
You will be fine, just remember that. Things will get better, even though I know it doesn't seem like that now.