How to help,

LegacyUser

Hey all,

Ok so i broke up with my boyfriends good few months ago and well although it was hard at the time their was no future there and we had nothing in common, however we still stay in touch and it's nice cos he was my first love and i like to be able to talk to him after all the drama.

The only thing is, is that since we broke up he's turned into a complete loser, ok a bit harsh perhaps, but when we broke up i went out had fun, i'm still in college so like didn't go off the rails just i suppose got him out of my system. He's unemployed now on the dole, like a lot of people its a recession i know, but like he goes out three nights a week and sits at home all week long. He told me he isn't even looking for a job now because he has money to go out and thats all he wants.

He just seems like this completely different person, when i was with him he was so smart and motivated, he got a brillant degree and now suddenly he's not arsed. He said he might go to oz but it's all lies because i'm going away from the summer and had to arrange flights etc already, but he hasn't done a thing.

I just feel sorry for him whenever i talk to him, like he isn't happy but he just in a rut and won't get out of it, i listen and offer encouragement, i think going to oz might just be the job for him, but i don't want to nag him....like we're broken up ages.

It's just hard seeing him become such a pathetic figure, my friends say he looks awful and what did i ever see in him, i havn't seen him in months, but i saw this amazing smart and funny guy and now everyone calling him a loser. It's sad because i feel guilty, like i wanted to end things, i pushed him away and now my life better then ever, i've done things i never would've done if we were together and then i see him sitting at home and drinking his life away. Like he's nearly 26. I dunno maybe i'm being stupid, but has anyone ever felt down and unmotivated....like can i help or should i?

MagicMarker

Tis none of your business tbh. He sounds happier than most to be fair. He's done with college and now he's enjoying himself. He might be making plans to go to Oz for all you know, the fact he hasn't booked flights means nothing.

Live your own life, forget about his.

jim o doom

MagicMarker wrote: »

Tis none of your business tbh. He sounds happier than most to be fair. He's done with college and now he's enjoying himself. He might be making plans to go to Oz for all you know, the fact he hasn't booked flights means nothing.

Live your own life, forget about his.

As happens frequently - I agree with magicmarker - let him live his life; he worked hard to get a degree, maybe the rat race isn't as wonderful as he originally thought and he wants to spend some time relaxing. I haven't been unemployed in many years (including college) - and I wish I had a period of do nothing time like he has now - I might have wasted it but I might have done a bit of travelling too.. anyways - your mates just sound like they are being b!tchy, especially with the "whatever did you see in him" - don't feel sorry for him, just let him be and get on with your own life.

Mr. Incognito

maybe he's happy.

Is he supposed to be an amazing person to make you feel better that you finished it with him?

Either way, unless he asks for help. Not your problem.

Wagon

...As nice as you and your friends sound...leave him be. You've been living your life happily and fair play. But it's his life and he can do what he wants with it. And do you really think he'd appreciate it if his ex girlfriend went up to him and said "Me and my friends have been talking about how pathetic and lonely you've been since I dumped you. So if there's anything I can do to help..." Could be why he hasn't been in touch with you for months.

LegacyUser

sounds like he's in a rut. If ur still in contact be supportive. If he's got a good degree he's not stupid and will come round, but he will come round. It's a tough time being unemployed. Went throught it myself, and it was hard to stay positive. Just realise it's a hard time for him and he'll get through it. We all have our hard times