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What do i do for my brother!!!

  • 15-12-2008 6:00pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi all!
    i am very worried about my brother. He is in his early 30. he has split with his longterm partner so there is the usual arguements about splitting the house and agreeing a custody arrangement. The reason they split up is his drinking , i think. His long term partner is very nice and really tried her best to make the relationship work. She will not allow him see the child because of his drinking. I rang him this afternoon at 3.30 and he was drunk. He sounded very lonely and sad. i said i would go up but he said dont bother... i think he has a problem..He can hold down a job for a couple of months at a time and he would get up and go to work. He is only recovering from a serious illness (not alcohal related). He has always got in trouble because of alcohal since he was a teen. He can be very aggressive when drunk and nasty. He has my mothers heart broken yet she says he is just selfish and dosent have a drinking problem. At the same time , i dont want to label him. I am so worried and dont know what to do. A few weeks ago i suggested AA and he roared at me... is he a binge drinker or an alcoholic. i am so worried about xmas and my parents... i am afraid he will do something stupid.. i know its his choice to stop but i dont want him left all alone... i know he did a lot of bad things but he is still my brother....


Comments

  • #2
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Your brother is an alcoholic as you know. There is not much you can do about this. The only person who has the power to change this is him. No one else can. Your brother will continue to bad things, its part of the disease, he will do enough bad things until he hits a bottom and something catastrophic forces him to change. It's painful to watch as a family member, but the addict gives you no other choice. Perhaps alanon - for the family of alcoholics can be of some support to you.


  • #3
    Hellm0
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,028 ✭✭✭Hellm0


    worriedboutbro wrote: »
    hi all!
    i am very worried about my brother. He is in his early 30. he has split with his longterm partner so there is the usual arguements about splitting the house and agreeing a custody arrangement. The reason they split up is his drinking , i think. His long term partner is very nice and really tried her best to make the relationship work. She will not allow him see the child because of his drinking. I rang him this afternoon at 3.30 and he was drunk. He sounded very lonely and sad. i said i would go up but he said dont bother... i think he has a problem..He can hold down a job for a couple of months at a time and he would get up and go to work. He is only recovering from a serious illness (not alcohal related). He has always got in trouble because of alcohal since he was a teen. He can be very aggressive when drunk and nasty. He has my mothers heart broken yet she says he is just selfish and dosent have a drinking problem. At the same time , i dont want to label him. I am so worried and dont know what to do. A few weeks ago i suggested AA and he roared at me... is he a binge drinker or an alcoholic. i am so worried about xmas and my parents... i am afraid he will do something stupid.. i know its his choice to stop but i dont want him left all alone... i know he did a lot of bad things but he is still my brother....

    OP I am sorry to hear your brother is going through this. The effects on family close to an alcoholic are not pleasant.

    You need to bare in mind that an alcoholic is not the person you know and love, addiction has consumed that person for the time that they refuse to admit that they have a problem. Until your brother actually WANTS to change it is simply not worth the pain and aggravation to you or your family to try and change him.

    The best thing you can do is wait it out and be there for him when he is ready to change. It may take a few tries on his part but he will someday find a way out of the hole that is addiction.


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