Where do thoughts cross the line to not normal?

LegacyUser

I'd just like to preface this with the fact that I have already booked an appointment with my GP so I'm not looking for any medical/psychological advice, just a little bit of support and some opinion, maybe a bit of perspective.

I'm just wondering, where do thoughts become abnormal? I've been thinking pretty dark thoughts - like suicide - lately. I'm not depressed much. Like, I have my low times where I can't really do much, just get in to town and back out as soon as I can and just flop when I get home. But I'm really not all that depressed. I know I'm not because I once did very seriously consider killing myself or just running away about 4 years ago when I was 16 and how I'm feeling now is nothing near that; overall I'm a pretty happy person with a lot of good in their life.

Now, it just seems like lately all my thought responses to life are so extreme. Something small happens and I think "Oh I wish I could just die" or "Why won't the ground swallow me up?!" or "I want to kill people" and I get really aggressive, even though I'm not unhappy. Stressed, but not unhappy. I'd never commit suicide because I've seen what the death of a child does to people and I don't think I could ever, ever, ever do that to my parents.

It's just so strange that all of a sudden I'm thinking like this without any substance or reason for these thoughts. Has anyone ever felt like this before?

More importantly, are these thoughts still within the realm of normal? There's no substance or actual drive to carry it out so are they actually "Alarm Bell Ringing like crazy and red flags everywhere" thoughts or is it just a bit of weird thinking?

I know people can't offer medical advice, so please don't cos I really don't want this thread locked. Thinking about this so much is driving me demented and I'd really like just a bit of response.

Auldloon

I would say thoughts like that are reasonably common. I know i used think some crazy ass stuff when i was younger. Less so nowadays:) Perhaps try to recognise when these thoughts are creeping up on you and try to steer your mind in another direction, distract yourself basically. Thats what i did and it was easier than i imagined.
There is an interesting book which i found very helpfull in understanding some of these thought processes and there meanings, heres a link
http://www.goldengatebookstore.com/rel/v2_viewupc.php?storenr=333&upc=0684847280&affnr=-2631&lowestUsed=1

cufroige

OP.. The thoughts are normal, say for some people.. I understand it & it's alarming at times to go down a morbid worm hole of thinking. You're 20 I believe.. I was quite morbid thinking too, you may have quite a curious mind & your thought patterns are quite repetitive when they catch your attention on what seems to be a taboo subject. A lot of people would keep those thoughts locked away so you wouldn't hear it discussed much..

At one point in my 20's I entertained the thought of becoming an undertaker, I had this vision of myself getting bodies ready for viewing, doing the hair & make up... that was pretty weird for my head, but it never was or became any more than a thought.. I also use to have thoughts of saving people from drowning / choking / & other things.. I just dunno why

I do know that I read & watch a lot of medical/ crime / thriller type books & TV.. It's just a genre that interests me.. I'm not into chiclit rom coms r romance.. so naturally my thought patterns would tend to gravitate towards autopsies before I'd get knocked up by Antonio banderas!!

If you're happy & confident that there are no morbid intentions behind your thoughts then feel safe in knowing that a thought is just that.. If you are worried do not ignore this, your subconscious may be flagging you alright..

If you're a creative or artistic person, which for whatever reason i suspect you might be, channel your thoughts / images into whatever medium you use to express yourself & you could come up with some interesting stuff.. It'll also help to keep your thought energy flowing & open it up a bit maybe to a positive perspective on a morbid topic..for example you may compose a song/piece of music/ poem meant to comfort someone grieving a loss..

Explore where your thoughts come from & direct where they go... your mind is a wonderful place once you are safe from harm from it, enjoy it... Paint your thoughts & dreams, even if they're dark they could be beautiful..

I prob sound like a right fairy here but you asked for a different perspective..

Finally & seriously, my fairy talk aside, you have mentioned suicidal thoughts & that is something you need to address & pay attention to. You've pointed out that you would never leave your loved ones like that so that is rational thought right there.. Death can be fascinating because it's so mysterious but just keep your wits about you..

Seeming to be a sensitive person I would suggest to you to be very VERY careful of alcohol, it can erase the rational side of you very easily, not only when you're drunk, but as it leaves your system also..Please remember that & that is something I have experienced firsthand, it can be lethal that way.. as for drugs, forget about it.. do not go there, they will melt your wonderful mind...

Speak with your GP and take your time considering the options that may be presented to you...well done on your aknowledgement of your thoughts & feelings, I don't mean for that to sound patronising but there are a lot of lost people out there who end up very sick, pained, distressed & confused for ignoring or feeling threatened/ ashamed by their 'abnormal' thoughts...and not talking about them for fear of being labelled 'weird/mad/whatever'...so fair dues to you for having the courage to speak up, give yourself credit for that

Always be open, keep it out there, you're young & you'll be fine..xx:cool:

LegacyUser

Cufroige said it all in a nutshell there.I think everyone has morbid/strange thoughts, i know i have.Are you bored by any chance? Boredom is like fuelling the fire of these thoughts.Try to keep yourself busy.Don't let these thoughts get to you, keep saying to yourself 'My thoughts are not me'.

cufroige

By the way, I got so carried away there with my 'perspective' that I forgot to comment on what you said about flopping when you got home. If you're having problems with your physical energy make sure at your GP visit to get your bloods checked just to rule out other possibilities. When you're talking to your doc tell him/her about your physical state also, not just what's going on in your head.. if your physical energy is poor, mood swings, sleep pattern, diet etc, it will present a much better basis for diagnosis..

I hope I don't cross the medical part line here, I am only talking from my experience & understanding as it relates to me to try & help you in your doc's appt

In my experience, You don't have to feel sad to be in a depressed state, depression as a word is bandied about a lot so you imagine you need to be crying into your cornflakes to qualify.. not so..My understanding of it is that chemical receptors in your brain chemistry may be out of whack causing certain repercussions for your emotional tolerance.. resulting in mood swings etc..because mood regulating hormones are blocked from doing their job...

we need a new word for the "physical state of depression" I think.. 'out of whack' is my term for it. Austin Powers called it 'losing his Mojo'

Patrick Holford has explained this very well along with the influence of nutrition in relation to keeping your 'mojo' in top notch

I know when I'm out of whack I can't tolerate sound, subtle background noises penetrate my every being! I get out of whack if I start partying / eat badly / bad sleep pattern etc.. (here I am posting at 1am! lol..I'm off tomorrow)

Make sure you get the most from your GP visit..write all your Q's & concerns down so you don't forget / go blank when you get in the chair (that happens to me)

And get your bloods done honey xx

LegacyUser

OP here

Thanks for the replies. Feeling a lot better about it now Will get blood tests done and hopefully everything works out. The description of being "out of whack" sounds very much like my current state so I'll mention everything to the GP. Just good to know I'm not a complete freak really

grizzly

All very normal thoughts. I have the same regularly and I'd consider myself normal and grounded in the wider scheme of things. You should only worry if you act on them.

It may be difficult to do, but you are best accepting them as just thoughts. People can get in a real state when they fixate on the fact that they have them and consequently develop a phobia about having them again and again. Getting caught in a loop of panic and over analysing everything that pops in there head.

See your GP and remember this is most likely a phase you pass through.

dolphinius

I found my thought patterns becoming very confused when my sleep patterns became disrupted.
I had been eating badly and my vitamin levels were very poor. We need certain vitamins to sleep well.
My dreams started arriving when I was still awake.
My subconscious needed it's time too, so would just kick in any time it needed to.
So, all day, I was full of dreams making a prisoner of my logical mind.
I found it very hard to concentrate on anything which sent me into huge downward spirals and guilt trips.
This made me dysfunctional and everything became a huge chore.
This went on for a good while.
Yet, after three days of good meals and two good nights sleep I was as right as rain.
Could not believe it. Something as simple as that.
If I had known it could be so easy I never would have wasted all that time
Gentle exercise to build up energy levels and tire you out.
Good books. Pop onto Amazon and have them delivered to your door.
Food is so, so important. Eat often and small. Chocolate helps.
It pulls all the blood from the brain and makes those thoughts vanish for a while and give you peace.
And, most of all a good night sleep.
Put those thoughts back where they belong. in nightmares.
Like hangovers we know what they are and know how to deal with them.