Reoccuring mental illness.

cards

I wrote on here several months ago that my brother was an involuntary patient in a psychiatric ward.It had been rumbling on 2 years and I was spent.I got some messages from people that had gone through similar with members of their families and it gave me great hope and strength.
Pheew..I'm too tired to write this.Basically they were trying him on anti-psychotic drugs with zero improvement.After several months they tried him with anti-depressants.Improvement was immediate and within a week or 2 returned to pretty much normal and he was baaaad.So many delusions,mostly health based.
Anyway,he has been back living a normal life for the past 3 or 4 months and I got a phone call last night,same symptoms seem to be reoccuring.He's definately taking his meds and this hasn't been reported to his docter yet but anyone have any thoughts.I feel sick at the thought of this.Really sick.I don't mean to sound me,me,me but NOT AGAIN.PLEEEASE GOD NOT AGAIN.

poisonated

hi cards,
well first of all i Would like to say Im very sorry to hear about your circumstances and I wish your brother well.
Secondly I'll just say that its important to not expect the drugs to get rid of all the problems but rather see them as an aid,your brother is still going to have these symptoms and its only through hard work and determination that he is going to improve... dont mean to sound so blunt and im sure your brother is working very hard but Perhaps at the moment he is going through particuraly stressful times.When the doctor is notified he will know what to do.. for now try not to worry(although im sure is very hard)
Everyone has these problems and hopefuly in time your brother will be ok
Best of luck
Poisonated

cards

Thats part of the problem.The dirty ,lazy bastard has done sweet **** all since he got released except smoke fags and eat ****ing tablets.I'm sorry for being so blunt and rude but I have implored him to join a gym as I understand the importance of daily excerise etc..Now he becomes dependent on us again and basically me and my sis and ma as my other sis and 2 brothers are a waste of space.This is so ****ing unfair.****ing victims.Won't live their own lives but want to pull everyone else down as well.The last time he got sick,he ran out of the country no less than 3 times and I had to pay when I got the phonecalls from as far away as australia etc,.Pay his landlord his back dated rent.Even move his stuff out of there.I'm sorry me,me,.me...BUT I'M PISSED.SO ****ING PISSED.HES A PRICK AND I ****ING HAAAATE HIM.Jesus all I want to be is left alone.Is that too much to ask.ffs.ffs.ffs.

littlefriend

Sounds like he is having a great time. Psychiatric wards are a whole lot of fun - especially being there against your will. No, they aren't frightening at all and taking pills so that you don't want to die is a real cop out as well. What an asshole.
Would you be as angry with him if he had had cancer and it came back?

cards

I'm angry at him because he didn't take a second chance and do something with it.I'm not saying excerise would have stopped this reoccuring but if you change your vibration on a daily basis with whatever means you have available to you including,excerise,meditation,alternative therapies etc..you have a fighting chance.If you sit on your ass,eat fries,smoke fags,ruminate about what happened to you,you are asking for trouble.My Ma is in her sixties and this ---- has been back living in her home at this hour of his life,brooding ,affecting her,affecting everyone and showing as much fight as a spud.Its his responsibilty to at least do something to sort himself out rather than just invite this **** back.

LolaLuv

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. My dad and brother both have bipolar disorder. My dad cut me out of his life for 10 years at one point, so I can definitely identify with the anger aspect. For me, the challenge to building a relationship with my father was learning to separate him, the person, from his disease. Mental illness is just that--an illness. It isn't something those afflicted have control over, and it isn't as though they want to be unwell.

My dad struggled, as many bipolars do, with staying on his meds. The problem is that the side effects are so terrible that when he starts feeling better he goes off the meds, which causes another downward spiral, which causes huge problems for everyone who loves him. At this point, it might be best for you to separate yourself from your brother while you try to cool down and see things in a different light. I'm not saying you're wrong to be angry; it's an absolutely natural reaction and one that I've struggled with myself. The trick is to focus the anger at the disease, not your brother.

I'm not sure I've been any help. You can feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk or vent or whatever.

poisonated

Although I wont ever be able to understand exatly how he feels,I can relate in that I have OCD and was in the same boat as your brother..have to go to a psychiatric clinic,have to take medication and all that and well I can tell you that its not fun and I dont believe that your brother is not making an effort on purpose but rather that this is destroying his mind and is destroying any energy he has to fight against it.I know that it must be quite agrevating to see him in this state and dont think that he isnt doing his best because I can assure you that the state of mind he must be in is prohibiting him from making as strong an effort as Im sure youd like to see.Over time though things will get better,they have for me any way...sorry about the rambling

beks101

Hi Cards,

I don't have any advice unfortunately, I just want to tell you that you are not alone.
The anger you are experiencing - I lived with this for years and years and years as a teenager, after my older sister fell ill with Godknowswhat, first started experiencing her psychotic episodes and was admitted to hospital.

I too blamed my sister for everything and thought on a daily basis if she would just pull her Goddamn f%^&#$g socks up we'd all have an easier life. Unfortunately this is the nature of mental illness - it's never got anything to do with strength of character, it's just unpredictable and elusive and strikes at any angle in an infinite number of ways.

Please be kind to yourself and don't ever feel guilty about the anger, just deal with it constructively because clearly your family - especially your mother - need as much support as they can get.

cards

Thanks everyone for the advice and apologies for freaking out. I was the only sibling left around the last time he was in hospital,yes,me,me,me again,joke! and it really put me to the sword ,going in there everyday for months and then getting 19 phonecalls and 82 text mesages per day. Anyway,the good news is that he ate some gone off fish the other day and did get genuinely sick and he was suffereing with hypcondriac type delusions before so it was thought that there was a return of the initial problem.He seems back to his best today and I've finally persuaded the lazy...! to come to the gym with me tommorrow.I'm still nervous as fuk in case this was a crack in the veneer so to speak and it does return but best to say positive and hope for the best.Thanks again and *sheepish* apologies.

Xiney

It's not unnatural for you to feel angry towards your brother.

He can't help the way he is but you're human too, and you can't help the way you feel.


If there is a chance that he will get himself into another financial pickle (people in manic episodes particularly spend foolishly) maybe your family could look into making him a ward of the court. This way, even though he may be at a good place right now, nobody will have to bear the brunt of flying him home from Australia next time he relapses, because he won't be able to get there in the first place. The sad truth is that it is likely he will relapse.

trixy

hi cards
My family have had a similar situation with my sister, she was only diagnosed last year. She was doing fine for months and then it started happening again. It really takes a strain on the whole family.

Myself and another member of the family decided to ring my sisters gp and told her what was happening. In a lot of cases people don't open up and tell their doctor what is actually happening. Her doctor was so happy we rang with info we gave as my sister didn't tell her anything we had told her.

Based on that the doctor changed her medication and got her a session with a Phsychiatrist straight away.

My sis is back to her old self now for the last couple of months.

Hope this helps

An Bhanríon

Have been dealing with mentally ill mother for 15 years. Fun! Fun! Fun!

Same thing, you think somebody is getting better, you start to relax again, and then – hey presto! – they start going ballistic again and you’re back to the ‘firefighting situation’ again!

Here is my advice for you, based on my experience. Hope it is some help.

No. 1 – take care of yourself. Yes, you love your brother, but you can’t take care of somebody if you are not well yourself. Surround yourself with good friends and extended family. Have enough people around who can listen to you rant about your brother. Even have a laugh about the things he gets up to! Don’t overdo it, though, and remember to talk about other things too. And always remember to say ‘thank you’ to those who have listened to you.
No. 2 – keep your distance. Spending too much time around your brother will only make you more angry and impatient and will make him more dependent on you. Yes, he is your brother and you need to help him. However, you have your own life, and your brother needs to learn to have his and be responsible for it. Try and get as many of his friends and members of your extended family involved in his care (within reason, of course).
No. 3 – don’t try to sort out your brother’s problems yourself. He needs to learn to do this for himself.
No. 4 – do tell your brother (tactfully!) how his behaviour is affecting you and your family. You must do this will great skill and patience – no losing your temper allowed! You must let him know you still love him and that you will always be there for him. However, he must take some responsibility for his behaviour, even if it is to genuinely accept the effect it is having on others and making a special effort to be good to his family and friends / making a special effort to improve his own life.
No. 5 – educate yourself and your family regarding mental illness and the services available.

[FONT=&quot]Good luck on your journey. And remember to smile – as tomorrow you may have no teeth![/FONT]