Why does she do it?

LegacyUser

I've a sister who lets me down a lot.

Wheather it was to go out driving when i had my car (I'm a learner), or to drive me to the gym or to go concerts together, she turns around and decides not to. She doesn't even tell me what the story is - i have to guess wheather she'll take me or not, or wheather she'll go to whats planned.

All week she talked me into going to a xmas party tonight. I wasn't keen at first but decided that I'll go. I started to looking forward to going. I bought myself an outfit today for it and all. I came home about two hours ago and she had obviously decided not to go (she didn't even send me a text to let me know - she didn't have credit but she could have used mums phone or my brothers to let me know).

I have a strong feeling that she has never intended on doing the things that she says she will (as in helping me drive or taking me to the gym). I'm so disappointed.

darling.x

Op here again, i couldnt finish on the computer so i'm on my mobile and cant go unreg on the mobile.


I've stopped relying on my sister for driving + giving me a lift to the gym, because she hadn't a notioned on doin these whenever she offered. She obviously hadn't a notion of going 2 the xmas party but she got my hopes up for it.

I have a feeling my sister does it all to rise me. And if i dare say anything to her about it, its considered b!tching.

sounds like a total power control thing to me
just ignore this kind of stuff in future, don't plan activities with her
it'll probably get worse when she realises it isn't working anymore but I think that might be the best way forward
that and stop depending on her


edit: oh you're the warped mum person?
disregard then :rolleyes:

MagicMarker

First your mum is warped and now this.

Are you perfect?

jen_23

if you don't mind my asking how old are you and your sister?

You need to stand on yuor own two feet and start relying on yourself if she keeps letting you down.
Can you get a cheap enough car and learn to drive yourself? That would prob be the first part of your becoming independant.
Then for going out can you plan more of these partys with your friends? Or if your sis has invited you ask a few friends as well so if your sis lets you down again your'e night isn't ruined , you still won't be going on your own.

darling.x

jen_23 wrote: »

if you don't mind my asking how old are you and your sister?

We're twins. 26


Can you get a cheap enough car and learn to drive yourself?

I have car but i'm at a standstill right now due to an accident a few weeks ago. I was driving a lot on my own because i wasnt getting any help.
But continuing with lessons.

darling.x

bluewolf wrote: »

sounds like a total power control thing to me
just ignore this kind of stuff in future, don't plan activities with her
it'll probably get worse when she realises it isn't working anymore but I think that might be the best way forward
that and stop depending on her

I'm the worst one for getting my hopes up every time.

MagicMarker

What!? You're 26!!!?

From your posts you come across like you're 16!

It's really time to grow up and move out.

lostinnappies

Simple answer .... NO.

Every time


NO NO NO NO NO NOOOO

problem solved.

Maybe invite her to a few things and dont turn up.

jen_23

darling.x wrote: »

jen_23 wrote: »

if you don't mind my asking how old are you and your sister?

We're twins. 26


Can you get a cheap enough car and learn to drive yourself?

I have car but i'm at a standstill right now due to an accident a few weeks ago. I was driving a lot on my own because i wasnt getting any help.
But continuing with lessons.

Okay to be honest i also thought ye may have been 17-20. Your 26 it's time to stop relying on your sister for things.
Yer both prob at two different points it sounds like your sis wants to stay in or do her own thing so it's time for you to do your own thing for a while.

Maybe as well your sis was feeling a bit taken for granted. It sounds like she was teaching you to drive, being a taxi and then being your buddy on nights out. She prob just needs a bit of distance for a while.

You need to get the car thing sorted and gain some independance back. You'l feel alot better for it not to have to rely on others for things:)

Untense

Talk to her about it ?

Terpsichore

Go to the party by yourself! Or invite your own friends to go as well, then your sis can cancel without much effect on you.

It's time for you twins to build up social lives separately.

Have you ever had a fight about boy friends? Well be prepared: it's on it's way!

Time to grow up fast and gracefully!

All the best!

John Mason

darling.x wrote: »

jen_23 wrote: »

ifWe're twins. 26

LOL 26!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thought you were about 16/17 from the way you go on in your posts.

Listen love, you are an adult. start acting like one and what in gods name are doing living at home at 26!!

so your sister let you down, ah poor you. if you know she does this all the time why do you keep asking her to do things?