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Big Ninny feeler

  • 13-12-2008 12:21pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 103 ✭✭


    What would you do?

    Have you ever found yourself taking stock of your life & realising there are some people in your life that just wear you out?

    People who you have actually made a point of staying in touch with because you didn't want to be a 'deserter'? Now you're just a really bad friend

    They haven't changed at all but that you've just woken up to the fact that you've maybe held on coz you're too much of a ninny to say to yourself "Nuff, WHY am I still hanging out with this person when it just wrecks my head"
    What do you do?

    "Good luck mate, you just do my head in.. "
    Disappear?
    Avoid?
    "I've been hiding a terrible secret, I think I've conned you coz I'm afraid of my life you won't like me if I'm not your friend"


    It's so two faced when you think about it.. Prentending to be a friend then dreading their arrival on your doorstep?

    What is it? How do you put on your big girl knickers & just admit to yourself that the person you were just drinking coffee with is nothing more than a pet vampire you like to call your pal...coz you're a big chicken

    Fear of rejection from the one you reject?

    Mid life crises?

    Would you feel like a complete idiot?

    has anyone else ever done this?

    seriously, I'm v curious (obviously to make myself feel better & possibly worse)

    ::hiding behind sofa in anticipation of terrible backlash:::eek:


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,699 ✭✭✭samhail


    i am a forgiving typa guy so if small things are done to me then i would generally let them go, but if it goes a little bit more serious then i have just cut contact. a little different than what you are saying, but in a way the same.

    i wouldnt say to their face hey m8 actually no your not a mate get lost. just start distancing yourself.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,699 ✭✭✭samhail


    to expand slighty on this conversation, if i may :), if you felt that your friends were only friends with you since you are reliable or a "nice-guy"/"nice-girl" type thing and you dont get anything out of it as such.
    Think its worth staying friends with them
    (and no ! im talking about experiences from months ago !:))


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,590 ✭✭✭Pigwidgeon


    i had this for about a year, two "friends" would be constantly putting me down, real slyly all the time, little things. it kept at me until eventually enough was enough and i couldn't handle it anymore, so i said enough was enough. haven't spoken to them since, it ended with a bang anyway.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 103 ✭✭cufroige


    Kateos...oh do tell... what was the ending 'bang?'

    I hate the subtlety of the 'friend' put downs & such...

    It's so cunning coz if you 'dare' to call them out on something so 'petty' & 'trivial' you get torn a new a-hole by the 'always right' indignation of 'friend' ...
    I got my ass kicked recently for protesting against a subtle stabbing from someone.. It really got my goat big time

    but I have presented myself as the feckin doormat so many times, I can only blame myself
    ... ugghhh, we had a big Massive row & it was Naaaasty


    Is there a nintendo DS balls training game I can get ..LOL:p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 182 ✭✭jane86


    If this friend hasn't been nasty to you then don't stop being friends with them in a nasty way.

    I'd reccomend distancing yourself slowly. Pretend that you are too busy and don't have time to hang out with them. Do this every time they ask to hang out.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    totally see where you are comin from.

    im one of those people who make the effort but lately ive just started doin things i wanted to do and enjoyed. put yourself first like i did. its not about makin excuse or lyin. just dont do what you dont wanna do and dont see who you dont wanna see.

    i have friends who live an hour or two away are constantly sayin.....we have to catch up. i was normally the one who went to them but now i am gonna let them come to me.

    real friends are those that are effortless or that you make the effort coz they make it for you. they dont care when you cant make it and dont make you feel guilty for not doin what they want.

    just distance yourself, get on with your short life. no point wastin it on people like that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,737 ✭✭✭BroomBurner


    I learned this lesson in primary school. Some "friends" aren't actually friends. And there is no reason to hang on to a friendship just because you happened to hang around with each other when younger. If you don't get on, than you don't get on.

    Just move on from them. If they invite you out, just say no and keep saying no. They'll eventually cop on and stop inviting you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29 donieD


    totally see where you are comin from.

    im one of those people who make the effort but lately ive just started doin things i wanted to do and enjoyed. put yourself first like i did. its not about makin excuse or lyin. just dont do what you dont wanna do and dont see who you dont wanna see.

    i have friends who live an hour or two away are constantly sayin.....we have to catch up. i was normally the one who went to them but now i am gonna let them come to me.

    real friends are those that are effortless or that you make the effort coz they make it for you. they dont care when you cant make it and dont make you feel guilty for not doin what they want.

    just distance yourself, get on with your short life. no point wastin it on people like that.
    spot on advice i reckon.you can generally count you true friends on one hand in my experience


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