Time Is A Healer

Loxosceles

Time is a healer,
and all hearts that break,
will be put back together again
'cause love heals the wounds that it makes.
-Eva Cassidy

I don't listen to her much anymore because ballads can get a bit tiring on the ears. However, to let most young persons in this forum know, there is one thing most people in the matrix of all this emotion, trying to give assistance themselves, cannot tell you:

After a good long while, these problems and issues will be much smaller in the big picture, and if you survive this maelstrom of questioning and fear for long enough, you will be given the virtues of patience and perspective.

If you think there is something you can't handle, take your questions to the right people: the older and wiser. The qualified. Those who can provide answers out of experience of what actually works, as opposed to either a misplaced and idealistic sense of right and wrong, or a solution to a personal experience that may not be the best one for you. And especially those who can hand you the right resources, rather than judgment or sympathy. Judgment and sympathy are not resources, but paths to correct action _are_.

Ireland is a judgmental place, and people are only too willing to pass judgment if you ask them to, and even more often when you don't. Judgment is not a solution, it is a barometer for how much of your situation you should actually share with other people who are most often unqualified to voice authority in your life.

People in Ireland are also too willing to pile sympathy on situations in which you feel you are the victim, when sympathy may not be the solution, and responsibility is. Sympathy is not a solution either; it can make us self-righteous or lazy.

Some situations which other people think are begging for an immediate solution may require lots of time, tactical action and specific handling. Remember that you are the person absolutely most qualified to deal with your situation, not other people, even if you feel completely out of control. When that happens, seek those who can guide you to the resources you need in order to take the correct action that you will know, deep down, is necessary.

There is nothing wrong with discussion, bouncing ideas and situations off of other people to see if you're right or crazy. We all need to know that. But at the end of the day, the only choices that matter are yours, and you will be making them yourself.

All I wanted to say.

lox

Wibbs

Not really a personal issue or at least one that others can chime in on as you give your own good advice, so I'll close it. I'll leave it up though as it's good advice.