How to not mess it up?

oceansize

Hi there, long story short, met a girl last weekend, im irish, she's from poland but been living in ireland a couple of years.

I text her and she text back and we've been chatting since.
I know myself i can often say the wrong thing and i just dont want to mess it up so that we dont meet up.

i text her yesterday saying i was doing something, and she text back later that night askin how i got on and we chatted for a while, she was telling me about how she's not fully into her current job and that how she doesn't have the confidence to move onto something else in ireland etc so i was trying to be supportive.

We finished the conversation with her texting me saying it was lovely talking and a X.

I just want to know if you have any advice on how i can go from here in terms of asking her to meet up without seeming to forward or messing it up in some way, as i know she's not from ireland she may take things differently, and i have a habbit of saying the wrong thing.

no so short but there you go.

thanks

petethebrick

Just be yourself and act confidently. Better to ring her up and take her out for a drink than to be texting back and forth. Don't become a text monkey too quickly.
Don't worry about saying the wrong thing/ messing things up - if you be yourself and not childish/ needy/ offensive etc you'll be grand.

Wibbs

Ask her out on a proper date, before you end up in textfriendzone. Make your intentions clear as soon as. Have you just met and talked or was there some lip action going on. Either way make a move. If you don't that'll kill it quicker than saying the wrong thing in most cases.

davmol

Just call hr up and ask her out.Dont try and make a big deal about it or youll probably get confused and mumble your words.Just keep it simple.

Shes obviously interested.
As for feeling to forward,irish people are some of the least forward people out there ie in teh states people chat each other up and ask people out on dates in the supermarket.If u did that here the girl would probably scream RAPE!!.Its usually done when we're p1ssed in a pub.Obvioulsy thats not the case all the time.

From my own experience asking a girl out after a few days of contact is far from too forward.From what i know of Polish girls theyre friendly and its quite likely that theyd ask you round for a chat the following day so go for it ,ask her out,forget whats too forward or not forward enough,just dont tell her you love her on the first date:D

oceansize

well i did ask her after a couple of texts the day before yesterday to meet me for a drink and she said "maybe", since then she's been more friendly and been asking me to tell her about me etc, then she went into detail about herself, she told me she has a child etc.

i might give her a text later and ask her to meet up then, i'm not going to call as she's not to confident with her english she said, and i'd be better talking to her face to face.

we havn't kissed or anything, i only met her once on friday night,

oceansize

davmol wrote: »

Just call hr up and ask her out.Dont try and make a big deal about it or youll probably get confused and mumble your words.Just keep it simple.

Shes obviously interested.
As for feeling to forward,irish people are some of the least forward people out there ie in teh states people chat each other up and ask people out on dates in the supermarket.If u did that here the girl would probably scream RAPE!!.Its usually done when we're p1ssed in a pub.Obvioulsy thats not the case all the time.

From my own experience asking a girl out after a few days of contact is far from too forward.From what i know of Polish girls theyre friendly and its quite likely that theyd ask you round for a chat the following day so go for it ,ask her out,forget whats too forward or not forward enough,just dont tell her you love her on the first date:D

But i do love her!??? haha

petethebrick

If I asked a girl out and she said 'maybe' I'd expect that maybe to turn into a yes pretty quick or else I'd move on to be honest. I'm not gonna get into tellin a girl all about myself via text message first.
I have friends I can text when I want to chat. It's datin and action I'm after with girls I meet.

homerun_homer

I'm not the only one to notice this but foreign girls, such as the Polish are more approachable than the Irish when it comes to asking them out so don't worry about it.
I've found Irish girls prefer to make you dance (not literally of course) before they say yes or reject you.

metamorphic

yeah ask her out and meet up. Seeing as English isn't her first language be sure and ask her at some point in the night if you've said anything she found strange, or weird. She may have thought you said something you didn't.

I've a friend who was in a similar situation and asked that question, and she had picked him up wrong on one or 2 things, and actually thought he was insulting her at one point. So it's a good thing to find out and clear up. (they're now married).

LegacyUser

im now with a eastern european girl - took 3 weeks before she said yes to a date....was talking for about a month and when i asked her she was all shy and ran away with a maybe. so i asked 3 more times and she said yes....

Some of these girls are more coy and shy than our irish women. She was also very worried about her english and if i would be frustrated or run out of patience with her.

Trust me - eastern european men are much more forward than us...treat her nice and respect her, just be yourself.

oceansize

Hi again, just an update, was talking to her the other night i bet around the bush a bit and asked her out. she said no and that she was too busy.

i said no problem was lovely to meet you and she said c you around.

she then text a little later and asked what i meant in my reply i said "np" instead of no problem, i told her and she kept talking.

she then went out with a couple of friends and was texting me all night, she then told me that she was sick of people asking her out but she thought that i was a little different from the usual and that she'd meet me i promised to bring her out for her birthday! her birthday is christams eve, and she said she gets upset sometimes that c day and her birthday blend, so i said i'd bring her out friday coming and show her a good night with my friends and she sounded delighted.

she text me yesterday asking if i was still bringing her out on friday and i said i was, she is working in a different town and she was worried where she'd stay, i said i don't want it to sound to cliche or whatever but she was welcome to stay in my place as there'll be a few friends over and she was happy with that..

what do you think? it's kind of a big change from the "no" answer...

and she's agreed to meet me anyway.

one thing i'm worried about that i didn't state before. i work in a bar, and i've seen alot of girls, and alot of eastern european girls... this one happens to be fantastic looking, simply stunning. my friend that was with me when i met her was gobsmacked. she does a bit of modelling and stuff

now i'm nice enough looking, quite cocky etc. she said she was worried she wouldn't remember what i look like and laughed it off.

what if we meet up and she thinks she's out of my league or something?? now i'm worried...

dlofnep

Has she not seen or met you yet?

oceansize

yes, we met the friday night, we spoke for about 10 mins and i asked her for her number, she said she'd know me once she saw me etc but i'm kinda worried i might not be as nice as she remembers etc, omly for i'm quite cocky i'd be way to intimidated by her if you know what i mean?

dlofnep

Ah ok.. Cocky isn't good. Confidence is fine.. Just be yourself. Relax. Seems like she's interested. Best of luck with it.

JimmyCrackCorn!

Ring here when you ask her out.

Text messages are not the way to do things. Best of luck:)

oceansize

ok we're meeting on friday night, i'm well worried about it!!!

SarahSassy

Looks like she may have been wanting you to chase her more and she got a land when you said 'no problem'....

Proceed with care... No one wants a head wreck...

oceansize

sounds like it,

just hope she likes my looks and stuff now when she sees me again, if she does then i'm on the gravy train

Terpsichore

Lots of foreign girls living in Ireland dream to meet a lovely Irish man...

Just be cool and be yourself. There is no point of presenting someone that you're not.

All the best to you on Friday night. Fingers crossed!

Armadillo Sho

Looked she would not have giving you her no if she did not think you where good looking. She sounds to be a nice girl and she seems to be looking for a nice bloke... you are nice ... so you are in man... congrats.;)

oceansize

ok here's the update.

we met, had a great night, and we slept together (not intercourse but everything else).

i didn't mention in the first post that she said she had a boyfriend!

we've been texting eachother non stop, but she's quite moody. 1 min she's in great mood the next she's not.

she's coming up to seem me on 26th, and she was looking forward to seeing me.

earlier she text me asking if she could ring me because she wanted to hear my voice. we talked and then i let the phone down and she text me saying this "i just dont get why you're still talking to me if you know i have a boyfriends, like there's loads of single girls out there". this just came from nowhere. i replied saying that it's probably because i like her, and she didn't have to continue if she didn't want and she said "sure i came up to see you, and im seeing you again on friday so we're grand"...

she's kind of a bit mental.

i know what ur gonna tell me to do, what do you think she's up to?

who007

mate - enjoy it while it lasts - I had a young polish bird before (about 10 years younger than me) very pretty, not much english, was moody like that - even bit m,y lip when we were kissing goodnioght once and stormed off. I didn't text her after that and she came back apologising. Anyway I ditched her after a short while and then one of my mates saw her a few months later, pregnant by the next poor guy she musta jumped on. Very glad I hadn't stayed with her. That moodiness is mental - and you said yourself she's a bit mental anyway. Just enjoy it while it lasts then leave. DON'T get emotionally caught up in her craziness!

oceansize

dya think i should just cut it short tomorrow? tell her i dont wanna meet her etc?

MIN2511

oceansize wrote: »

dya think i should just cut it short tomorrow? tell her i dont wanna meet her etc?

What have you got lose by meeting her tomorrow?

Wibbs

Have to agree with who007. Mentalism and moodiness are not great traits and no amount of drop dead gorgeous will make up the balance.

Tread carefully. It could be that she's in confusion mode. Has a boyfriend and isn't sure where that's going, so she is testing her attachment to him by meeting you. When it goes well, she's fine, but when she gets the guilts she sticks the bottom lip out and gets moody.

The line "i just dont get why you're still talking to me if you know i have a boyfriends, like there's loads of single girls out there". is her moving the responsibility of her actions on to you IMHO. That way it's not her "fault". Very common one that. It's also an ego pat on the back, when you come back with the "but I like you" bit. Which of course moves fault away from her even more. The oul "I/we couldn't stop ourselves" angle.

BTW is the boyfriend(S) a typo? Is she saying she has more than one? If she was American where the idea of dating more than one person is more the done thing culturally, I would say fine, but AFAIK that's not the case in Polish culture(though I'm well open to correction on that one).

veryangryman

I second what Jimmy says.

Keep the eyes on the prize - Ring if you want nookie. Text if you got no balls.

The same rule is followed by most girls. Think about it :pac:

oceansize

Wibbs wrote: »

Have to agree with who007. Mentalism and moodiness are not great traits and no amount of drop dead gorgeous will make up the balance.

Tread carefully. It could be that she's in confusion mode. Has a boyfriend and isn't sure where that's going, so she is testing her attachment to him by meeting you. When it goes well, she's fine, but when she gets the guilts she sticks the bottom lip out and gets moody.

The line "i just dont get why you're still talking to me if you know i have a boyfriends, like there's loads of single girls out there". is her moving the responsibility of her actions on to you IMHO. That way it's not her "fault". Very common one that. It's also an ego pat on the back, when you come back with the "but I like you" bit. Which of course moves fault away from her even more. The oul "I/we couldn't stop ourselves" angle.

BTW is the boyfriend(S) a typo? Is she saying she has more than one? If she was American where the idea of dating more than one person is more the done thing culturally, I would say fine, but AFAIK that's not the case in Polish culture(though I'm well open to correction on that one).

boyfriend(s) is a typo yes lol. she's been goin out with a lad for a year and a half. meets him twice a week job

she's been texting me all day, and rang me 3 times......

MIN2511

So she has a bf yet she's texting you????

Do you want to get involved in this?

She's cheating on her ex with you, even if you really like this girl what are the chances she won't do the dirty on you.