I can't cope

LegacyUser

My first serious boyfriend dumped me for no good reason 3 days ago. I can't cope with it. I can't sleep, eat or stop crying. It hurts so much and he doesn't care. I gave up so much for him, was there for him at a testing time in his life and out of no where he does this. I don't know what to do. He's changed over night. I can't talk to him. He won't listen. He keeps saying i'll be ok and wants to stay close friends. Condescending rubbish. I hate him for what he's done to me. And it doesn't seem to bother him at all.

jellie

First of all, cut the contact with him. It wont help you at all.

Have you friends you can speak to? Try spending some time with friends, talk about it if you can, cry as much as you need to, get it all out.

It will get better. Its normal (& horrible) to not be able to sleep or eat, etc. Force yourself to eat something, even if its just some toast. Try & keep busy & distracted.

You'll probably be very hurt for awhile, but it does get better. it just takes time

homerun_homer

Very sorry to hear about this OP but I agree with the advice of Sar84. Not eating and sleeping takes it's toll and you lay awake with non-stop thoughts about what is going on.. it's a killer.
When I was in a break up this year I was the same and I just had no motivation to do anything. All my hobbies may as well have been thrown out the window, I became cranky and short with everyone in and out of work. I just kept a low profile, drank a bit to help me sleep. It wasn't a fun time.
There is no easy way through it but to just keep distracting yourself and meeting up with friends as much as you can. even hanging out with others is tough because they are happy and fine, while you are not. It's hard to be around that but it does help.

Absolutely cut all contact. I kept in touch and that sort of helped to an extent at first and then it eventually made things worse in the end and just dragged out the hardship. I'm 7 months after the break and still it stings and plays on my mind, especially leading into Christmas.
Hopefully you will feel better soon and find your way of getting through it.

XXNikXX

this is the time for friends and ice cream.... have your girlies come round, watch the notebook or some other weepy and cry like a baby... get it all out.. cry, scream, curse him and stuff your face for the night.... the last thing you should do is pretend to your friends that your ok when your not, trust me just tell them how hard it is for you and they'll be only too happy to try and help...

its already been said and i agree totally.. stay away from your ex, the only way to move on is to cut him out of your life, it will be hard but in the long run you'll realise that your so much better off....

hope you feel better about the whole thing soon...

That Girl..

Its always really hard when you finish with someone you love, especially when you don't want to..

But honestly the best thing you can do is move on.. If he doesn't want to know then he's not worth your tears.

The best thing you can do is keep busy..

Don't let him ruin your Christmas coz someone else will come along who will deserve you.

Burial

Dumped wrote: »

My first serious boyfriend dumped me for no good reason 3 days ago. I can't cope with it. I can't sleep, eat or stop crying. It hurts so much and he doesn't care. I gave up so much for him, was there for him at a testing time in his life and out of no where he does this. I don't know what to do. He's changed over night. I can't talk to him. He won't listen. He keeps saying i'll be ok and wants to stay close friends. Condescending rubbish. I hate him for what he's done to me. And it doesn't seem to bother him at all.

All I can say is, it was your first serious bf. It may seem like he doesn't care, but I think he does. He just can't show that he cares, otherwise you might think theres a chance you and him could be back together. If he's having this much of an effect on you, forget about him. Get rid of everything. When he texts or calls, ignore them. He should know that he affected you badly, it would be uncaring for him to contact you. Maybe in 6-12 months time consider meeting with him once to see and you'll laugh at how better your life is without him. (This has yet to fail with anyone I know)

Learn from this relationship. Don't give up so much for other bfs in future.

Queencake

Awh you poor dear. I think 99% of us have been there. It's hard to see it now but after some time when the pain eases a lil you'll look back and you will see some tell tale sign why he ended the relationship.

-Best not to analyse the relationship now. You WON'T get any answers and you'll just make it worse for yourself.

-Cut ALL contact immediately. Doesn't matter who break up with who this is always the right way to go. Next time he tries to contact you just tell him ONCE that you know the best way for you to move on is do stop contact. Tell him you don't want him as a friend. Be clear. DON'T CONFUSE BY SUGARCOATING IT!

-From experience, some guys don't take the hint. Some of them will persist in contacting you for a month, others will take a year of non responses to finally get the hint. It's so tempting to respond especially when they txt I miss you and I can't stop thinking about you but luv, don't. Trust me, even if it's to remind them that you don't want contact. I was dubbed a bitch for cutting contact by one guy but most understand that it needs to be done if they've any level of emotional maturity.

-Cleanse the bedroom/flat/house of pictures of him. Delete from computer if you find yourself looking at them.

-Get some nice new things for your bedroom. It doesn't have to cost alot! Just freshen up and tidy the room and make it a really pleasant place to sleep.

-Take up a new pasttime preferrably something that is good for your body e.g. a sport, the gym, taking a walk most days with a friend etc. It'll help your mood and you'll probably feel better about your image, hey which is always a bonus!

-It's the Christmas season! Accept all invites - whether it be to a pub crawl, parties, drinks, shopping trips whatever. Just keep busy. This is a great time to keep busy. Associate Christmas 2008 with a busy mad fun Christmas not with the breakup.