A play in iambic pentameter (mostly)

luvvie dahling

Like as what I did make.

Desperate for feedback I do be.
Jedi master i be not.

website about this play made with microsoft-paint and raw html (with me own bare hands!)here: www.mydr4ma.com

play itself here:

http://www.mydr4ma.com/fullplay.doc


questions or comments to: mydr4ma(at)gmail.com

luvvie dahling

somebody say something, I'm feeling tender and alone and ignored here.

was it something I said?

Matt Holck

What's the play about?

pickarooney

I was going to bump this so it didn't go off the first page. I've got as far as downloading it and reading the character intros so far. It's a mighty impressive undertaking.

luvvie dahling

what is it about?
It's about eco-stuff and how that is important,
it's about how green stuff is an excuse for some people to bully other people, it's about how too much theatre is period peice sh1te (cos it's free of rights),
It's about the way people lie,

It's itself...I ask you to read it only until you get bored and then stop,( if you can tell me at what point that was, then you will provide me with useful feedback)

thanks for your time.

Thomas_S_Hunterson

Stop saving your ms paint pictures as jpegs!

Use gifs or pngs or anything but jpegs

/edit: jpegs are best for photos, you can see on your site around the lines that there is a lot of artifacts caused by the conversion to jpeg.

Also, it loads a whole new page as I go through each point in The Big Idea section and the formatting changes. Ideally it would just load up the next bit of text and leave everything else untouched.

luvvie dahling

yes it does.




sorry about that.

Thomas_S_Hunterson

Also convert the play to a PDF, distributing .docs on the net isn't best practice really.

/edit: I do like the luck you're going for.

luvvie dahling

PDF files,( or paedophiles asI call them), are much larger and take ages to load, and presenting the play in that format would be bad,- or so I thought.

I think it goes without saying that, in terms of web-design, I dont really know what I'm doing here. I made the site as best as I could using paint and tables and small and simple images. I agree that it's far from perfect, but I had hoped that it got the point across and didn't take forever to load.
I hadn't realised Jpegs were a problem; I only have the options of jpeg, gif or Bitmap on this tatty old computer.

Thanks for your time and input, I'll see what I can do about these technical problems, but what does anybody think about the play?

Thomas_S_Hunterson

I did a conversion here and the pdf is actually about 20% smaller.

If you want, pm me your email address and I can email you the converted file.

The benefits of a pdf are mainly to do with the fact that it's not meant to be edited. It's a lot easier to read on-screen, and will print the same way on everyone's pc.

Different word processors interpret .doc files differently so compatibility is a big issue. pdfs are reasonably standard however.

luvvie dahling

my e-mail is: mydr4ma(at)gmail(dot)com.

quincyk

luvvie dahling wrote: »

my e-mail is: mydr4ma(at)gmail(dot)com.

Why don't you use "@ and ." ?

luvvie dahling

I've noticed other folk doing this on th'interweb and presumed that they must have a reason.

Thomas_S_Hunterson

luvvie dahling wrote: »

my e-mail is: mydr4ma(at)gmail(dot)com.

Sent, sorry I forgot you posted your email in the OP.

The formatting may or may not be a bit off as I did the conversion with OpenOffice.

luvvie dahling

Now available in PDF!!!
www.mydr4ma.com/fullplay.pdf
All of the links to the play are now no longer active

The Mad Hatter

quincyk wrote: »

Why don't you use "@ and ." ?

Bots trawl forums for email addresses to send spam to (and from). It's usually safest not to enter an email address that can be scanned automatically, though tbh I'd be very surprised if someone hasn't figured out by now how to get them to read '[at]', etc.

luvvie dahling - I've downloaded your play, and am reading through it casually. (Don't expect quick criticism from me - I'm up to my eyes, and also very easily distracted.)

From what I've read so far, it seems quite good. I think there are a couple of slips in the iambic pentameter, but given that it's 2008 that shouldn't be too much of a problem. As much as it seems like extremely hard work, though, it does strike me as a bit gimmicky to write the whole thing in this archaic form. As I've said, though, I haven't read very much of it - it may surprise me yet (and I hope it does).

luvvie dahling

for your time and comments,
The iambic element may well be gimmicky,
(and I have found that it intimidates actors at a first reading).
I have stuck with it though,it lends power to whoever is speaking it, and it has a nice rhythm to the ear,
and it makes the play and the action in the play seem more false and contrived;
I felt it would be good for this play to abandon any notion of realism.

also, it's a handy way to describe relationships, for example when it becomes a kind of duet:
'If you can read-
'I read,
'Then there are books.

'I'm glad to hear you read, I read a lot.

The future depicted is fairly dystopic, but I wanted to present it more as a playful notion than intended actual prophesy, so's not too be depressing.

The Mad Hatter

luvvie dahling wrote: »

for your time and comments,
The iambic element may well be gimmicky,
(and I have found that it intimidates actors at a first reading).
I have stuck with it though,it lends power to whoever is speaking it, and it has a nice rhythm to the ear,
and it makes the play and the action in the play seem more false and contrived;
I felt it would be good for this play to abandon any notion of realism.

also, it's a handy way to describe relationships, for example when it becomes a kind of duet:
'If you can read-
'I read,
'Then there are books.

'I'm glad to hear you read, I read a lot.

The future depicted is fairly dystopic, but I wanted to present it more as a playful notion than intended actual prophesy, so's not too be depressing.

Funny, that little duet is one of the lines I had issues with - 'I read', for instance, sounds a little forced to me - I'd have gone for 'I can'.

I'm not sure I said it, but I'm really fond of the idea - both of the play itself, and of the construction in iambic pentameter. I'll go through it and make those suggestions that I think would improve it, but everything I say is yours to take or discard as you prefer.

luvvie dahling

Both the .doc and .Pdf files are now no longer active

sorry

pickarooney

Ahem - not a rtansparent attempt to get people to download it at all, no?
I had terrible trouble getting the DOC to display on my laptop. The PDF is a godsend.

luvvie dahling

it isn't. I got an e-mail about it. Other folk involved in what is (hope,hope,hope) to be the eventual production, have intimated that distributing it like this might ' ruin the surprise'- my own feelings are that feedback would be nice. The twenty-four hour thing is the compromise.

thanks again to Sean K for showing me how to do things properly.

Matt Holck

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

Bots trawl forums for email addresses to send spam to (and from). It's usually safest not to enter an email address that can be scanned automatically, though tbh I'd be very surprised if someone hasn't figured out by now how to get them to read '[at]', etc.

to common a word cluster MadH@ter.com

dot is a bit unusual