Feeling insecure and need a bit of advice

LegacyUser

hello im 22 and have been going out with an amazing girl for the last 9months. we love eachother and click and just get on! however since going out iv always felt a little insecure about an issue. she is gorgeous whereas , whilst im not a bad looking guy by any accounts, im not the kinda guy you'd expect to go out with her. i guess this makes me feel a bit insecure particularly on a night out. its not that big a deal and hasnt overly bothered me in all these months. guys would come up when we'r out and try flirt with her and i suppose the problem is she loves the attention and would sorta play up to it. i know i can be the jealous type sometimes but im just that kinda guy and its the way i am. on the otherhand i wouldnt get the same attention from the ladies. now and again she'd jokingly say to me "sure youre lucky to be going out with me. im a catch" or something along those lines. i know shes only joking but im a worrier and thats not the kind of thing i like to here. it doesnt help that guys shes dated in the past are very good looking. occasionaly when talking to a few of her friends in a group (especially after a few drinks) the topic of how i managed 'to get a girl like her' would come up.

anyway im not sure why i posted. i think i just wanted to vent and get it out. i know it probably sounds petty and i shud man up to it but i love this girl dearly and lately especially find myself trying to make a real effort (looks wise and the way i act) to try hold on to her.
thanks for listening

LolaLuv

Your gf sounds like a bit of a jerk, tbh. My only advice would be to give her the heave-ho and find someone who likes you and would never make you feel this way about yourself. Her friends sound like losers, too.

Wibbs

I agree with pillypen but I would also say you're partly enabling her to do this. You feel insecure and she picks up on this and that makes her feel a little insecure too I reckon. Hence the "joking". The attention seeking could be part of that too. As I see it you have her and have done for a while. Relax and ignore the digs. Make it look like it doesn't affect you even if it does. The more insecure she feels you are in this the more insecure she'll become and the "joke" may turn into an excuse to leave.

spinandscribble

yeah i can see wibbs point but if she doesn't change, get rid. she might be pretty on the outside but on the inside she kinda seems fugly and vain.

Annie Bananie

I think she is lucky to have you, that puts up with her crap tbh.
There is no such thing as "being the better catch". There are two people in a relationship and it takes both to make it work. The person you love are beautiful to you no matter what he/she looks like or what others think. So now if she thinks she is "the better catch", she is the one failing the relationship in my eyes. If she loves you, shouldn't she wanna brag about you and not put you down?

Talk to her and tell her how you feel. GL

cantdecide

Annie Bananie wrote: »

Talk to her and tell her how you feel. GL

Sensible.

You could be perfectly matched in all other except socialising. There's no need to dump her yet if she's just trying to guage your insecurity by making fun. Her friends do sound like idiots but if she were listening to them too much, as the gals often do, she'd have done somthing by now.

~nop~

I was in a relationship pretty much just like your one where my boyfriend's friends were saying the same sorts of things to him and I was getting all the attention when we went out. Tbh though I did relish the attention but it really just made me love him more.
Make sure you don't fall into the trap of thinking she's never insecure or has no problems though. It sounds awful but my bf only told me once that I was beautiful in the whole time we were going out (a pretty long time), and when I said how cute that was he goes, but sure you know it anyway everyone tells you that. When your gf jokes that she's a catch maybe it's because of her being insecure or because you never reassure her?