Sorry...another advice thread?

LegacyUser

Sorry.. I know that so many people seem to be writing about this kinda thing...
For years now I dont know where im heading in life.. And recently it just seems pointless being around anymore..
Im 21 n have had an eating disorder for about 4 years. I really want to get over it but i cant. I have no one to talk to about it and just cant see anything getting better.
I dont know what i want to do in my life.. I dropped out of university after a year and then just did a random plc course. But still i dont know what to do..
I just feel so alone.. Never really had a proper boyfriend as such.. I seem to attract the wrong ones... I hardly leave my house anymore or see my friends as i would just rather stay in my room away from people..
Recently ive started to get panic attacks which are horrible..
The only time i really get out is to go to my dance classes which i love.. but apart from that theres nothing and dancing isnt really a good enough reason to stick around... I dont know what to do
If anyone has any advice whatsoever please help... Once again Im sorry i know alot a people write about this so im not expecting many replies..
Thanks... xx

Wibbs

I know this "advice" is probably as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit, but you're 21. You have a mad load of stuff ahead of you. Good bad and mostly boring:). The other thing about life is the one thing we can be sure of is change. Things will change and if you prepare for change they will generally be good changes. Would you have access to counseling services for the panic attacks? That would be my first port of call. To get to the root of why you get them and methods of dealing with them. There's a phobia forum hereabouts that may have some resources that would help. As my dad used to say to me when we would be fishing, you can't catch fish with your bait in the boat. Same goes for life. You cant live life if you're not a part of it. Take little steps now and I guarantee you'l look back on this in 10 years time as the making of you.

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote: »

I know this "advice" is probably as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit, but you're 21. You have a mad load of stuff ahead of you. Good bad and mostly boring:). The other thing about life is the one thing we can be sure of is change. Things will change and if you prepare for change they will generally be good changes. Would you have access to counseling services for the panic attacks? That would be my first port of call. To get to the root of why you get them and methods of dealing with them. There's a phobia forum hereabouts that may have some resources that would help. As my dad used to say to me when we would be fishing, you can't catch fish with your bait in the boat. Same goes for life. You cant live life if you're not a part of it. Take little steps now and I guarantee you'l look back on this in 10 years time as the making of you.

Thanks for the reply,
I did go to the doctor for the panic attacks but she said that she didnt want to put me on meds because then id probably rely on them i suppose? I would love to get help for everything but its just so expensive...

Valmont

If there's confusion about your direction in life etc... maybe try a counsellor? With the right one, you should be able to get going. Also, if you don't want meds for your panic attacks, which are an awful thing to experience by the way, some counsellors do CBT therapy, which has a good success rate. Asking for advice is a big step so don't stop here, good luck

Shelllz

Wibbs wrote: »

You cant live life if you're not a part of it.

Thats a great saying! And so true! You've gotta find that silver lining in every cloud, might be hard to see it some days but you'll find it if you look hard enough!:D Why don't you do a few more dance classes get yourself out there a bit more or even go for a boogie on a sat night?! Are you in college at the moment? If so there may be free medical services available to you!

artyeva

CBT (cognitive behavoural therapy) sounds like it would be perfect for you. It challenges you to look at negative thought patterns and learn how to better deal with them. One thing that stuck out in your post is your mentioning that you have an eating disorder - this would be the best place to start if you want to get out of the rut you have found yourself in. by getting your body stronger you'll feel more able to deal with things.

this may be of help to you:

http://www.bodywhys.ie/ ,this is a wealth of different support outlets for people with eating disorders. talk to your GP, too. if you feel too embarrassed you could write them a letter with your phone number on it. They may be able to get you a referral to a CBT therapist in your area.

The most important thing is to know that what you're going through can be gotten over. It may not seem as if there is light at the end of the tunnel but believe me - (am speaking from experience here) - there is...and if you ever need someone to talk to just remember there are people out there who will listen. hope this helps!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the help. I'll have a look on the site...
I did mention to the doc about my eating disorder (hardest thing ive ever done) and i just felt so stupid saying it. She refered me to an eating disorder clinic but it was nowhere near where i live so i didnt go. The thoughts of travelling all that way on my own just made me feel ill. I dont know if i'd be able to talk to anyone about it anyway.

Yeah the dancing is sort of like a therapy for me. I'll be going to an audition next week for a big competition which would mean going to loads more classes which id love. But i know i wont get picked as the people im up against are great and even though i know that im still going to be devastated when i dont get in. And things like that really get me down aswell.
I'd love to be a positive and happy person but thats just the way i am i suppose.... Sorry for rambling on!
Thanks again for your help. Taking everything on board....

artyeva

You know you're very hard on yourself - too hard if you ask me. you're probably way more talented than you give yourself credit for.

Best of luck with the audition.

LegacyUser

I just gotta be realistic with myself ya know. Ah sure i'll try anyway or i'll probably beat myself up about it...
Thanks :)xx