6year relationship over - move on?

LegacyUser

Big reader, never poster.

I'm just out of a long term relationship (6+ years). I'm 27 now.
Some background;
first true lovers/partners.
lived together for 2.5 years.
got on as well as a couple could, of course there were moments
All in, it was a great relationship - I'd say as good as they get
Last year, not so good - work related stress for both, itchiness to go mad on her part, me being a bit stuck in a rut.

Anyway last few months thing deteriorated, basically
me; puppy dog, grovelling to make things work (when should have been firm and strong and told her to gtfo)
her; trying to shake me loose but not quite able (granted she was an absolute b.tch to me during the end-play)

End of story; we eventually break up and haven't been in contact for a while now.

Now my personal issue;

How da funnk does one move on from a relationship like this?

What have I learnt - be strong and take no sh!t no matter what - you lose respect for yourself and she loses respect for you if you put up with anything.

Long term goal - to find something like what I had in the first 5 years of the last relationship.

Short term goal - to find someone/people to make me feel good about myself, who I am into and get on well with.

The problem here is, while I see girls all the time I'm attracted to, it's been a while since I met anyone who I get on with like a house on fire. I haven't been looking at all and don't know where to begin.

Also, I was very attracted to my last girlfriend, as to be honest, looks wise I'd say she was a step or two above me. If it wasn't for my attraction to her I don't think I would have lowered myself like I did in the last days of the relationship, by basically pestering her to stick with it. I honestly can't see too many girls who look as fine as her being into me.

That sounds quite harsh, but the truth is, I have to be attracted to someone to get with them - and the attraction towards a hot girl who rejected me is likely to beat out any alternatives for a while!

I read back on the post there and it sounds quite blasé - don't let my forthrightness put you off the scent here - I'm still cut up about the end of the relationship, but I gotta move on and I need to plan things out to some degree or else I'll go mad.

LolaLuv

This might be harsh, but if you honestly stuck with someone who treated you like dirt simply because she was hot, then you probably have some maturity and self-confidence issues you should be working on before you start looking for someone else.

Nevyn

It takes time to recover and you need to take that time and learn to feel good about yourself by yourself instead of rushing around wanting to see yourself through someone elses eyes.

You can't just jump from where you are into a relationship, there is no going back you can only go forward. Yes it's shíty, yes you are going to have to start all over again.
Currently no one will compare to her due to your history together but you have to learn to give other people a chance.
When you are ready you will be able to go on dates, until then take time to heal and make your life better.

slievenamon83

hey im in a very similar position.. with a guy for 4 years thought he was the one...things started to rot he moved to england told me he wanted to be single live it up for a while etc so he did ...im 25 hes 30 anyways at the start i thought we would get back together hes been in constant contact but when i had it out with him he said he wanted to be single...so i picked myself up and made a conscious effort to meet up with the girls go out at the weekends flirt etc with guys and generally have a good time.....its working ive never felt better more attractive and more alive...the last week or so hes been textin me sayin he wants to meet at xmas he misses me so much etc etc but ive told him he made his decision and we both have to live with it and to be honest i couldnt get back with him ive learned that it finished for a reason and ive never been having such a good time just being single and havin the craic ...i dunno if this helps you at all but i jus wanted to say keep goin...get out and enjoy yourself and it will start to come good!!

LegacyUser

it will take a while to get back into the swing of things man

what ever u do dont rush into a rebound thing


just go out with ur mates and enjoy being single again